Am I the only woman in the UK whose..

[LovelyIssues]

Husband has NEVER seen them completely without makeup. Been together 11 years..

Main reason why is I have roscea, acne scars, awful redness and uneven skin.. I hate it and try and hide it as much as possible so I can honestly say he's never without even a bit of foundation on

Hi everyone! I'm still around! I'm totally makeup free at night, using miscellar water, a gentle cleanser and moisturising along with benzoyl peroxide. I have to say it hasn't made any difference. Still very red, still have acne, skin either dry or oily. I think I just have to accept this is my face DH still hasn't seen me makeup free

@C0NNIE that's the thing... He doesn't know the extent of it

Don't your pillow cases get filthy?

Please go to the doctor, take some make up wipes and your make up bag, show the doctor then put your make up back on before leaving. Your life doesn't have to be this way op.

I have sympathy for you as I had bad acne and have some scars and uneven skin. I remember once in university the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night and I put foundation on before leaving - It was only later on reflection that I realised how stupid/ridiculous that was but I just had it in my head that people couldn't see me without makeup. I'm over it now and have even gone outside without make up. I don't think I could keep up what you're doing. It must get exhausting.

How old is your son - the one who commented on your skin? How did you explain it to him ?

If you can explain your condition to a child, why can’t you tell your DP ?

What would happen if your DP woke in the night and saw you? Isn’t it very stressful trying to always sleep aftre him and be awake before him? How did you manage when you were in labour ?

Your current plan for managing your anxiety must make it even worse, not better, as you have to be on guard all the time.

Have you been to the Gp and tried prescription treatments or even antibiotics ? Obviously not now, but when they are open - you’ve been posting about this for 9 months .

@LovelyIssues

Fellow rosacea and general crap skin sufferer.

You HAVE to have some make up free days. The lockdowns since March have done wonders for my skin because I'm not going to work every day and wearing foundation.

The Ordinary red chemical peel actually got rid of some of the scars on my forehead and Nivea oily skin micellar water before bed has definitely balanced out my oilyness.

Please please let your skin breathe!

FFs I didn't RTFT

Glad you're at least giving your skin a break at night - would also echo PP's comments about going to your GP.

Your bedding must be a greasy mess!
I have acne and my husband sees me every day without make up, he loves me and wouldn't dream of passing comment on my skin. If I'm having a moan about it he tells me I'm beautiful no matter what.
Trust your husband enough to talk to him about it.

Have you been to the GP? I have rozex on prescription for my acne rosacea and it really does help. That and going make up free does really help.

I was like this, I am nearly 40 years of age and have suffered from spots and acne for 25 years, nothing will clear it. However I have learned to help keep it at nay. I love make up and how well it makes my skin look, before lockdown I would wear it every day, I would always wash it off at night though never go to bed with it on. Himself would have seen me make up free much though before lockdown, don't think he really noticed it though. During lockdown as not going out much I haven't worn it much, have gone even couple of weeks of not wearing it, again he never commented, but my confidence has grown a bit. I do wear it when going to the shops but not as much I would have done. Last year before lockdown I got decided to start looking after my skin more, I went to a skin clinic and started getting what they call glow peels , did wonders for my skin, aswell as that they gave me some excellent skin care to use at home ( and believe me I have spent a fortune on creams etc to resolve my skin) which has really, when this lockdown is over I will be going back and starting a course of micro needling to help with the scars. I have come to the realization that my skin will never be perfect but I can help it look the best it can and it has relay helped my confidence. Also himself suffers from Roscae and he will be starting a course to treat his skin after seeing how mine has improved . Look up emmaandersbags on Instagram, she has done a course of IPL on her rosacea and spoken openly about her treatment of it . Your husband loves you for who you are - he will love you without make up, You just need to believe that

I’ve named changed to tell you this. I have several facial scars from a car accident as a DC. My previous DH, my current DP and previous partners don’t care. My current DP tells me constantly that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. I don’t cover them up, I couldn’t, I love swimming and beach days and just generally feeling free to feel comfortable in my own skin. Your DH won’t care OP. A lifetime of being too afraid to show yourself to those you love will mean that you’re not living to the fullest. I think mine are part of me

Oh hon you need to get over this, it'll be making your skin worse and I bet he wouldn't even notice if you took it off. Just try it once, no tinted moisturiser before bed, see if he notices. Build up slowly, start by knocking the bedtime moisturiser first and build up as you get more confident xx

Wow, yes this wound be unusual. I don't have good skin but it's mine so if people don't like it it's their problem. I don't have the money or energy to keep it covered all the time even for being in public but it must be stressful keeping it from your husband. You must never be able to relax fully.

If you're make up free at night though are you sure he's not seeing you. Doesn't he wake for the toilet etc or before you in the morning sometimes. He had probably seen you but doesn't care a jot.

It’s well worth going to the doctor. I hope you can get it sorted. It’s a shame you don’t feel able to be make up free sometimes.

By the way skin doesn't breathe - it's really not sucking in oxygen. I do think almost any woman looks a bit better with some makeup - even if it's only a lipstick but it is of course people's choice about wearing it.

I think in this context people use breathe as an analogy. No one thinks it has its own little respiratory system that will cause it to die with out breathing. Pores become blocked or irritated by products that can cause worsening of spots as they can from dirt, environmental grime. It's good for your skin to be clean and bare is what breathing means.

Something to ease you into it OP...I have a cheap lamp from ikea thats pink plastic, it's my bedside lamp. It casts a really dim pink tinged light. Cant you get something like that to "practice" hanging out bare faced with him?

Op what do you think will happen if he sees you? You can’t spend the rest of your life living like this.

Make an appt for a dermatologist, I’m sure they do virtual ones, or speak to your gp at some point. Then just take your make up off in front of your husband, honestly, unless he’s a really horrible person he’s not going to have any issues with it, and would likely be saddened you’d lived like this for so long. 💐

That sounds like so much effort OP. Do you really think your husband would not accept you if he saw your real face? That is quite sad :(

@Athrawes I take makeup off at night if you read the update. Thanks for the comment though lol

l look horrible with no make up and my glasses on (I usually wear contacts). DH says I look like a sexy student - I'm late 30s so not sure about that lol.
Seriously, after 10+ years of marriage I don't think you 'see' the other person the same way you would a random person in the street, as you know each other so well.

"I do think almost any woman looks a bit better with some makeup - even if it's only a lipstick but it is of course people's choice about wearing it."

why doesnt a red circle round the mouth make a man look better, then?

I felt the same when DH and I first met, I don't have particularly 'problem' skin but always felt better in makeup. It got to a point where all of his black shirts had white foundation marks and he noticed he'd never seen me without makeup and we had a chat about it, he made me feel much more comfortable without makeup and now I only pop on a light foundation for everyday wear. (I do have permanent eyeliner and brows)

Speak to him about it, say you don't feel confident with bare skin/face around him, he may have not noticed but will be able to help you feel more confident. He'll still love you! Speak to your GP if you feel you need more support mentally or for your skin, it's no way to live hiding away from yourself.

@Meowchickameowmeow thanks for the lovely comment. What do you suggest then? I get up in the night to wash my face again?