To think DH should be grateful for what he has?

[popsydoodle4444]

Just need to get this off my chest before I explode.

I'm fed up with how ungrateful my DH is for the life we have.AIBU to think he should buck the hell up and be grateful.

He has a wife and 4 kids who love him and we do a heck of a lot for him.

I'm a WFHM;He doesn't bother to do any housework/shopping/washing/cooking etc as he says he "doesn't have time" as he works FT.I work from home and earn abit of money that way.Its not loads but means we don't have to find childcare/he doesn't have to do it (I use to have a PT job and he hated having to help with childcare).So I do the all the stuff connected to the home and kids.

We live in a decent sized house,in a nice area with good schools.

His family adore him even though he makes little effort to see them.

Our kids are doing well in school.

He has a good job locally,which pays decent money and is secure and he's given a decent shift pattern plus as much overtime as he likes.

But he's just so very ungrateful.He constantly moans about his job,he lies to them and throws sickies to go out with his mate;he'll literally drop everything to run off to mates house.

He constantly moans about me/criticises everything I do.He moans about and at the kids.He always snapping at us and is in a foul mood most of the time and isn't happy unless he's buggering off out with his mates.

He moans about the state of the house even though he doesn't lift a finger himself.He doesn't do any DIY or gardening and keeps saying he wants to move because he doesn't like where we live.(funnily enough he wants to up sticks and move to near his mates)

He makes no effort with his family.

I've organised a weekend away for his birthday tomorrow.He's in a foul mood all day,he's been quite horrible to me calling me a fat bitch and a cunt and has told me to cancel this weekend.I think he's behaving like this on purpose to get out of spending it with myself and the kids and wants to spend it with his mates instead.

He seems jealous of his mate who's a decade younger and has no kids.

I'm sick to death of his attitude.He has a decent life.Ive never met anyone as ungrateful for what they have as he is,

What are you getting out of this relationship?

calling me a fat bitch and a cunt

yes to your question but this is absolutely not ok

Jeez what are you getting out of this relationship?

Your husband sounds like a petulant, spoiled child. How dare he call you such disgusting names!

What do you plan to do about it, long term, popsy? It isn't exactly an ideal environment for your children.

X post user

I’m not surprised you’re annoyed at him OP, he needs to buck up. I’m concerned that he called you those things - does he do that often? That’s really not on and is quite abusive. Everyone’s allowed a good moan now and then even if it’s just about ‘first world problems’ but if he doesn’t respect you that’s another matter. Sorry you’re having such a hard time x

Is he gay?
He seems to like his mate a little too much ?

He's an abusive wanker and you need to seriously leave him. Calling you them names is disgusting and not what a decent loving husband would do. He clearly does not give a shit about you or the kids and you do everything so why be with him? Moans about his own kids? Yet never looks after them. We hear about a lot of arseholes on here but he actually defines one.

YABU asking if he’s unreasonable -,he’s not unreasonable - he’s an abusive dick

Oh and in future don't organise shit for his birthday.

Post this in relationships and get advice on how to LTB.

I think the bigger issue here is his participation in family life and why you tolerate it.

You worked pt, enabling you to get out of the house, but because he didn't want to contribute to parenting you stopped.

Even if he didn't moan, are you really happy with him? His attitude towards the kids? His laziness around the house?

It really doesn't sound like he has much regard for you. Or he's so dissatisfied with his home life and wants to get out at every opportunity.

Is this the marriage you want forever?

He sounds horrific.
Can't you find someone better?
I'm not sure if he brings much to the table to be honest?

He sounds very unpleasant. I just can't imagine my DH ever calling me a fat bitch and a cunt. How can you stay with him?

he's been quite horrible to me calling me a fat bitch and a cunt and has told me to cancel this weekend.

Wow. I would call his bluff and cancel or see if you can go without him and take your kids.

Honestly, you must know this is unacceptable. Do your children have to listen to him abusing you? If he likes it so much at his mates house I'd suggest he stays there and give yourself a break.

Pretty much everything you say about him would be enough to LTB.

But calling you a fat bitch and a cunt is totally out of order. I hope the DCs didn't hear it.

I think you need to lay it on the table that you need a supportive loving husband and father. And if that's too difficult for him, you need to think about splitting up. Your kids deserve better even if you feel you don't.

He called you a fat cunt?

He’d be out. Send him to his “mates”. Make sure he pays child maintenance and support.

Absolute waste of space. Be rid of him.

This is just going to get worse with time. Do you want your kids learning that it’s okay to disrespect you? Do you want your future grandkids thinking it’s okay to do it? Because that is what will happen if you let this continue. My gf was like this with my gm all their married lives and despite being a lovely lady and so sociable eventually her friends stopped coming over because they couldn’t bear seeing the verbal abuse. Even my dad, who lived with and cared for them all their lives, found excuses to avoid being in the house around them.

Dump him, throw him out, and raise your kids right. I promise you will be better off without him.

Get rid of him. He's an abusive bastard.

LTB

he's been quite horrible to me calling me a fat bitch and a cunt and has told me to cancel this weekend.

This nastiness is common when men are having affairs.

I think he's behaving like this on purpose

He is...he wants to push you to cancel it.

I'd tell hi he sounds incredibly unhappy with your marriage and family and he needs to change his behaviour or you don't see a future for the two of you.

This isn't about gratitude...it's his total lack of interest and abusive behaviour towards you.

It's not a healthy relationship and it's showing your children a poor example of an adult relationship.

They will begin to view this as the norm and are at risk of replicating the relationship you have when they grow up.

Why would you put up with someone speaking to you like this? I’m guessing it is for financial reasons, you’re worried about going it alone?

He’s not happy and behaving terribly. You’re not happy because of it. If you’re not willing to end it, then I’m not sure what to suggest really. You can’t force him to like his life and if you’re willing to take his abuse, there is not much more to be done.

Hes either gay or having an affair. Just get rid and make sure you get everything you need. That is abuse, plain and simple and no role model for your dc

I'd get this moved to the Relationships board.
You need constructive advice about how to leave him. There is that on there.
YANBU.
(He sounds like an abusive shit of partner)

He sounds horrendous. Get out as fast as you can. Life should not be this miserable