To think DH should be grateful for what he has?

[popsydoodle4444]

Just need to get this off my chest before I explode.

I'm fed up with how ungrateful my DH is for the life we have.AIBU to think he should buck the hell up and be grateful.

He has a wife and 4 kids who love him and we do a heck of a lot for him.

I'm a WFHM;He doesn't bother to do any housework/shopping/washing/cooking etc as he says he "doesn't have time" as he works FT.I work from home and earn abit of money that way.Its not loads but means we don't have to find childcare/he doesn't have to do it (I use to have a PT job and he hated having to help with childcare).So I do the all the stuff connected to the home and kids.

We live in a decent sized house,in a nice area with good schools.

His family adore him even though he makes little effort to see them.

Our kids are doing well in school.

He has a good job locally,which pays decent money and is secure and he's given a decent shift pattern plus as much overtime as he likes.

But he's just so very ungrateful.He constantly moans about his job,he lies to them and throws sickies to go out with his mate;he'll literally drop everything to run off to mates house.

He constantly moans about me/criticises everything I do.He moans about and at the kids.He always snapping at us and is in a foul mood most of the time and isn't happy unless he's buggering off out with his mates.

He moans about the state of the house even though he doesn't lift a finger himself.He doesn't do any DIY or gardening and keeps saying he wants to move because he doesn't like where we live.(funnily enough he wants to up sticks and move to near his mates)

He makes no effort with his family.

I've organised a weekend away for his birthday tomorrow.He's in a foul mood all day,he's been quite horrible to me calling me a fat bitch and a cunt and has told me to cancel this weekend.I think he's behaving like this on purpose to get out of spending it with myself and the kids and wants to spend it with his mates instead.

He seems jealous of his mate who's a decade younger and has no kids.

I'm sick to death of his attitude.He has a decent life.Ive never met anyone as ungrateful for what they have as he is,

He’s verbally abusive to you.

Get out.

Dcs shouldn’t be exposed to domestic abuse.

He is a arse, that is obvious. Kick him out, don't leave.

Durgasarrow completely agree. She knows its wrong but is trying to justify it. In the mean time they have brought all those kids into a toxic situation and they wont do anything about it.
But yes hes wonderful and she lurrrves him.

Agree with the others, this is only going to get worse. Is the house mortgaged/council/rented?

There's more to this character. I'll go with the affair or gay but either way he isn't happy with his life and wants out.

What benefit does he bring to your life other than money?

she knows its wrong but is trying to justify it. In the mean time they have brought all those kids into a toxic situation and they wont do anything about it.
But yes hes wonderful and she lurrrves him.

What the hell is wrong with you? Doing something about it means literally jumping into the unknown.
So what if she loves her husband? She loved him before be became abusive (most likely) and they still probably have good days sometimes.

And the people who are asking why did you have 4 kids with him?
Its possible he didnt start out like this. It could have been gradual and difficult to realise as it starts off with silly cow and ends up being fat bitch and cunt. Maybe he was sweary anyway and cunt isnt as unusual a swear.

Its easy to say leave the bastard but its hard to leave a man you once loved, even if you dont now.
Its hard to split up your family and entrust your children to a man who might not be able to look after them properly or well- even if it is their dad.
She could be worried he will try to turn the kids against her or go off with a younger woman while she is alone looking after 4 kids and he gets to be a disney dad.
She might not be able to provide for herself and 4 kids on a single income- plus childcare

You cant leave until youre ready to leave
Hell you cant even see it is wrong- its normal to her! Was normal to me! And normal to lots of people.
She would have to leave a life she enjoys to have a life she may not. If dh is the worst part of her life and everything else is perfect i dont blame her for putting up with him to not rock the boat.

She probably wont come back to this thread because who wants to be asked why they had their darling precious children?
Some of you posters are sick bastards.
She asked for help / wanted a rant or a moan/ is already considering leaving but needed confirmation.

Fwiw op name calling when we are stressed is part of mine and dps relationship sometimes

He acted how your dp acts for about 5 years
I put up with it
We had a short split
Came back worked on our problems and talked it out- it was hard because hes a silent treatment guy and im a screacher. But we did work it out and he is happy at home now and I look back on those years and wonder why i didnt leave him. But im so glad i didnt. Because we worked out. Not 40s though. We are nearly in our 30s and this happened early / mid20s so might be different if this happened 15 years down the line.
My first thought was midlife crisis and assumed it was fairly new behaviour.
Try and work /talk it out before you ltb. If it doesnt work then ltb if you want to. Or put up with it if you want to.
Dont try to justify having your children to strangers on the internet though.

Ditch at least ten stone by dumping this disgusting creature. If he’s called you a fat bitch and a cunt then his respect for you is in the gutter and he deserves nothing but your absolute contempt. What a piece of crap he is.

If my husband called me a c**t I would leave him.

He's horrible and abusive and not worthy of you at all. I sincerely hope you leave him.

You both sound unhappy, his behaviour is appalling, you are left picking up after the whole household, keeping everything going, while frantically trying to jolly the miserable and verbally abusive husband along.

Is this a situation you want to continue with. His contribution to the family is only financial atm, and he could do that living elsewhere. Your home environment would be less toxic for you and the children as a result.