To think that some Mumsnetters hate men?

[Ruby8719]

Am I being unreasonable to think that some (not all) mumsnetters hate men and can’t wait to jump in and tell women to leave their husbands?

Obviously there are a lot of stories on here about husbands/boyfriends/dads that sound like arseholes but the amount of comments I see from strangers telling women to leave their men for making a mistake is crazy!!

What do you mean by “making a mistake”? Buying the wrong brand of crisps or accidentally sticking their penis in another woman?

But maybe their lives are so much better after leaving their exes that they want to spread the joy. Which is fair enough I suppose.

I don’t think mumsnetters hate men - they just hate some of the shitty things that men tend to do.

I've only seen LTB shouted out for major things like controlling behaviour, affairs, financial abuse etc.
So I do think you're overgeneralising...

I think a lot of women on this site have been through a lot of shit because of men and, as a result, sometimes their judgment is clouded. But sometimes it also means they can see situations arising or power plays that many of us can't.

Yes there are some women here who bash men for sport, but there are also women here with such an incredible insight that we should sit back and take note when they share their thoughts with us.

I think some mumsnetters give a very good impression of not liking anyone very much!

Hello Captain Obvious!

Some posters are bitter to say the least.

I see more threads where the OP doesn't see the seriousness of their partners behaviour, like emotionally abusive techniques are just things that happen that have become normal. I notice it more in real life now too the things that get classed as annoying or upsetting, he does this or that and 'it bugs me so much' describing controlling behaviours or sulking and stonewalling as babyish rather than seeing them for what they are.

The mistake with a significant proportion of MNetters seems to be the arseholes they partner up with in the first place. I am constantly amazed at how intelligent sounding women, make such disastrous choices in who fathers their DC/shares their home.
You are not unreasonable with your statement though. I would have been dropped years ago by some MN’s, I’m pretty messy and I drink alcohol frequently.

Totally agree. 'LTB' at the drop of a hat, sometimes over quite minor 'misdemeanours' on the part of a man, and heaven forbid that a man should actually post on here... and yes yes I realise this space isn't intended for men, but some posters seem to actively revel in being nasty to them. And some who post on Feminist Chat seem convinced all men are rapists deep down.

Yes I think some MNers are like that. But it could be based on 1 bad experience after another with men for years so I won't knock them, or be in the 'rooting for men' camp. Men are OK in the main, the patriarchy benefits them they can do nicely without women actively flying the flag for them.

I'm in a happy relationship but if it ended for any reason I'd never have a man again. Too much shitty behaviour out there, also aided by the dawn of mobile phones and social media - it distracts so many people from relationships, not that it's much admitted.

Opting out of family life, lazy not helping with housework, financial verbal physical abuse, cheating - those type of posts are where I see 'LTB' mentioned; none of these instances are trivial are they? So it's to be expected.

I've never seen anyone say LTB for something minor and I've been here about 14 years

I have however seen hundreds of threads where women are living with abuse

I don't hate men, but I hold them to the same standard as women when it comes to parenting/housework and a lot of people don't seem to on here.

Hello Captain Obvious!

Some posters are bitter to say the least.

abso-fucking-loutely!
I often see posts that are just so vitriolic that they make me leave and delete the app but then the rose tinted glasses come out, but I'm often not on for long at all before the next why the fuck am I on here? moment.

Nature of the beast. MN is full of women who are in or have been in problematic relationships so what else would you expect.

The misandry on this site can be overwhelming at times

I agree that some posters have been through a really hard time with men and I have so much respect for that. But it’s also important to remember that not all relationships are the same and also not perfect all the time. Sometime humans disappoint each other but sometimes I see posts on here where better communication between the couple could resolve the issues. I don’t mean the heavy stuff like abuse, cheating and shitty dads.

Men and women are equal but sometimes men aren’t allowed to have mental health problems or work stress on mumsnet. Instead of advising the OP to talk to their husband like an adult, some replies are really harsh!

Maybe I am too matter of a fact - my partner and I are upfront and honest about everything - each time there is a challenge we both voice how we feel about it - nothing hidden - we work together and respect each other.

The misandry on this site can be overwhelming at times

Suggest you might find www.pistonheads.com/gassing/ more to your liking then? Why bother staying here?

I've not seen LTB over anything but serious stuff and I've been here 13 years.

I see a lot of women who are being abused and don't want to have to face up to that. S woman who was being raped by her husband was a recent one that comes to mind.

There are some yes, but in the minority. Most posters are well balanced.

There is one poster in particular who will always take the woman’s side. No matter how innocent the man is. And how wrong the woman is. They will try to make it the mans fault and will admit to doing so. Makes for some weird reading.🤪

The whole ltb thing is more about being a drama llama than hating men though.

YANBU
Some posters seem to want to create a utopian Herland with no men.

Buzz, you're doing exactly what people are saying they hate about this site, you're attacking someone for raising a valid point. That poster stated a fact, there are so many double standards about the reactions on here to female behaviour Vs the same male behaviour. Males get the tougher deal for sure!

Also just to add the “leave your husband” comment was just an example so maybe I have been a bit extreme with that example, bit there have 100% been comments from people who don’t know the full side of a story, coming to their own warped conclusion that the man is shit!!

I also agree there are some awful stories on here of horrible men not sharing finances, childcare etc and these are not the stories I mean.

Men and women are equal but sometimes men aren’t allowed to have mental health problems or work stress on mumsnet.

Well that’s just not true. Where have you ever seen someone say men aren’t allowed to have MH problems? Ever?

If you have to exaggerate to make your point, it probably isn’t a very good point to begin with.

It's the double standards that I hate so much.

Woman posts concerned that her husband might be cheating - cue lots of supportive, sympathetic posts advising her to hack into his phone to find proof, get her ducks in a row, find a shit hot lawyer, chuck him and his stuff out and change the locks.

Man posts concerned his wife is cheating - cue lots of posts telling him he must be a rubbish husband, doesn't do enough in the home or with the children and is no doubt getting his just desserts.