To think that some Mumsnetters hate men?

[Ruby8719]

Am I being unreasonable to think that some (not all) mumsnetters hate men and can’t wait to jump in and tell women to leave their husbands?

Obviously there are a lot of stories on here about husbands/boyfriends/dads that sound like arseholes but the amount of comments I see from strangers telling women to leave their men for making a mistake is crazy!!

Socalm

Your entire post was sex specific though.

Of course women can't commit rape because it is a crime that specifically only men can commit. What's the crime calked where a woman forces a man, or another woman, to have sex? Because it happens.

You then go on to talk about pregnancy and mastitis - well men can't experience those but there are other scenarios where men are the victim but don't get any sympathy on here.

Hear it's assault by penetration/ sexual assault, which can carry the same level of punishment as rape.

HTH.

I dont think ive ever seen a poster post one way on a thread about a mans divorce for example...and then completely differently on a womans thread

Its been my (limited) experience that different threads attract different posters who give different responses

I think its actually impossible to prove that the same posters are posting conflicting views...

And no one on FWR has said that all men are rapists...

Hear it's assault by penetration/ sexual assault, which can carry the same level of punishment as rape.

Forcing a man to have sex isn't assault by penetration is it? And sexual assault could mean many things.

If a man forcing a woman to have sex is rape, why isn't a woman forcing a man to have sex, rape?

Or if it's sexual assault for a woman to force a man, why isn't it sexual assault for a man to force a woman?

I advise people to leave their partners if the relationship has deeply unequal behaviour and/or unrespectful and/or abusive for them or the children.

It doesn't matter if a big thing happened or a little thing, if your partner doesn't respect you, then you should leave. The relationship is unsalvable without basic respect.

Not prioritising and centering men does not mean hating them. I think some people, even women, really struggle with that. These claims of dreadful overwhelming misandry on the site are just silly. You get the occasional thread where a man arrives seeking advice and no one can be bothered to head pat and "there, there" him or even more often he posts about his selfish behaviour that he didn't even realise was selfish and gets told that this is probably why his wife can't be bothered with him. Then it's all "boo hoo I am off you big meanies!"

There's not many spaces that are just for women, even less in recent times, with the advent of men turning into "women" and plopping themselves down in female only spaces. If being in a woman centred place is so unbearable for you and you feel the need to whimper "but what about the poor menz?" then perhaps look amongst the thousands of other sites that are not primarily for women, to find a place that suits you better.

@KahlanRahl what do you class as a little thing?

There's a thread running at the moment about a man volunteering to help at a Brownie pack - very short term and arranged as part of a youth work qualification. Some of the noteable comments have included that it's creepy and suggesting that he must have dubious motives. Seriously, how is that ok?

Doesn't any intelligent, feminist woman hate the male patriarchy at some point?

I hate them when I see the domestic violence figures.

I hate them when I see the rape conviction rate.
I hate them when I see boorish pricks leering at women on public transport.
I hate them when I remind myself again of the gender pay gap.
I hate them when I see mostly women running to do school/nursery/childminder pick ups.
I hate them when I see women (talented, hard working women) belittled at work, yet again, for daring to try to work flexibly (see above re school/childcare pick up).
I hate them when they man-spread. I really hate that.

@YgritteSnow it’s not about “poor men” it’s about supporting woman to have better relationships and rationalise when their partners have been less than perfect*

*dont mean cheating, abuse etc

I’m an intelligent bad feminist women and I have no hate in my heart for men or the mythical patriarchy.

YgritteSnow

This isn't a place for women though. It quite clearly states that.

KahlanRahl

Do you advise men to do the same?

@dameofdilemma that’s is the issue!!! Your list does NOT define men.

I do genuinely think a small minority of MNetters do hate men, yes.

Perhaps the amount seems bigger due to name changing though? I hope that's the case.

Some of that minority will go from thread to thread spitting venom about men, never really asking pertinent questions of the OP and if anyone else asks them and it turns out the woman is either partly or completely to blame, this small minority still will not have it.

It's a pretty awful way to view roughly half the population and you can bet your bottom dollar you wouldn't catch them spewing hatred towards ethnic or religious minorities, so quite why they're allowed to get away with such blinkered, blatant sexism on MN is beyond me.

yanbu in some ways. some posters seem to hate men, they pop up and post some pretty nasty stuff.
BUT like a lot of tjings men/mils/sn you only hear about when things go wrong on mn.
people don't tend to post when its all good.

YABU, I’ve only ever seen ‘LTB’ used when it’s absolutely justified. Either the man has been cheating or is abusive and controlling.

Either the man has been cheating or is abusive and controlling.
But when it's clear that it's the woman who has been cheating, abusive or controlling there are some posters who will still blame the man anyway.

@worraliberty

I think that’s how seeing those posts makes me feel, like the man is automatically judged as no good when we don’t know all the factors.

I’m not casting aside the feelings of those who have been seriously hurt by a man, i sincerely feel for those people. And I understand for some women they have no positive male influences/ experiences and can’t bare the idea of having one in their life for obvious reasons and that’s ok.

This isn't a place for women though. It quite clearly states that.

I didn't say it was. I said there weren't many places just for women (which there aren't) I then went on to say Mumsnet was a woman centred place though, which doesn't mean just for women, though mostly it is and I don't think that's a bad thing.

Guilty as charged.

... and?

It's the double standards that I hate so much

So true! In the majority of there is almost always just the woman's point of view. My mother used to say 'One tale's good til the other one's told' and I'm sure that in many instances the truth would lie somewhere in the middle.

It is a

That's the thing mrsBtheparker. Obviously we're only ever going to hear one side of the story on MN but some posters don't even bother questioning the OP before deciding the man's a bastard.

I’m always appalled by the double standards in evidence.

Man hits woman. Never, ever acceptable. LTB. Call the police.

Woman hits man. Oh poor you. You obviously had no option. He must have driven you to it. It’s not too bad as he’s obviously bigger/stronger than you.

It’s always interesting to see the mental gymnastics that some women will perform to cast the man as the perp and the woman as the victim.

I dont think ive ever seen a poster post one way on a thread about a mans divorce for example...and then completely differently on a womans thread

Its been my (limited) experience that different threads attract different posters who give different responses

I do notice different types of response to similar issues if posted by men or women but this is a pretty good explanation actually.

I think the support given to women in bad relationships is excellent though and not man-hating at all. Just supporting women to expect better. In some ways I think saying well men will be angry/sulking/mean/jealous/lazy etc is in itself man-hating as it presumes that they can't do any better.