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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being blamed for something I haven’t done

157 replies

BlameSlame · 04/03/2020 09:47

Something happened between me and my boyfriend last year. I won’t say exactly what if was because it’s quite a specific thing. But say it was something like I was accused of doing something behind his back, he thought it was me sending messages to him from anonymous account on Facebook. We split up for a bit because of this even though I’d always told him it wasn’t me. I kind of understood why he thought it was me because of who was actually doing it and also couldn’t prove it wasn’t me because how do you prove a negative event?

Anyway he found out for sure it wasn’t me. Knows it definitely wasn’t me and we were trying again. But now he’s said he can’t get past it and ended things with me again yesterday because he said even though he knows it wasn’t me, that every time he looks at me, it still crosses his mind that it could have been me.

AIBU to think those two things are impossible to believe at the same time? And that it’s massively unfair that I’m potentially losing someone I really like because of something I haven’t done.

How can I fix this? He already knows it wasn’t me so I have nothing to prove.

OP posts:
Gamble66 · 04/03/2020 09:49

You can't fix dim

cookielove · 04/03/2020 09:51

Why waste any energy on him!

What a twat!

Marmit · 04/03/2020 09:51

You can’t fix it - he’s too stupid and mistrustful. I feel so sorry for you because none of this is your fault, but honestly I think you’re better off without this nitwit.

Burlea · 04/03/2020 09:51

Why would you want to be with someone who thinks so little of you. You are worth so much more than him. If he couldn't believe you
on something you hadn't done then he isn't worth your time. Lucky lucky escape.

JigsawsAreInPieces · 04/03/2020 09:52

If he still distrusts you (even though there's no reason for him to do so) then you don't have anything to build a relationship on. I'm sorry but it's his problem and his loss if he prefers to think the worst of you.

It hurts. I know. Flowers Cake

TheMustressMhor · 04/03/2020 09:53

Oh OP. Really? You think so much of this man, who thinks so little of you?

Just move on.

PinkMonkeyBird · 04/03/2020 09:53

Sounds like he just doesn't want to be with you anymore and is using it as a get out. Be relieved you aren't with a childish idiot anymore.

Stressedout10 · 04/03/2020 09:53

You have had a very lucky escape. Be grateful and don't look back

Hoppinggreen · 04/03/2020 09:54

He’s a Dick, just move on

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/03/2020 09:54

You can’t fix it. Only he can and he is the one with the problem.

The only thing you can do is call it quits and walk away.

I don’t think you should have got back together.
If he split with you despite you telling him that it wasn’t you then the lack of trust was the death of this relationship

damnthatanxiety · 04/03/2020 09:54

why would you want to fix this?

Winterwoollies · 04/03/2020 09:55

He’s not worth the effort. He’s an idiot.

OhCaptain · 04/03/2020 09:55

You can fix it by finding someone half decent to spend your time on.

Candyapple49 · 04/03/2020 09:55

You have had a luck escape . Wh on earth wold you want to be in such a mistrusting person . It he moved on from this , he would doubt you again over something else in the future . He can’t think much of you . Wait for someon who loves you and wouldn’t doubt you for a second x

pooopypants · 04/03/2020 09:56

He sounds ridiculously immature and I'd be moving on from him. Find some self respect OP!

MulticolourMophead · 04/03/2020 09:59

You can't fix this, don't even bother trying. It's him.

BrowncoatWaffles · 04/03/2020 10:02

You can't fix this and frankly you deserve better. This is one step up from him being pissed off with you for something he dreamed you did.

KC225 · 04/03/2020 10:02

He can't get over it.

I suspect he will be back and off again with some other 'victorian melodramatic flounce'. Surely you need someone with but more emotional maturity.

Given time you will be glad he has shown you who he is early on.

Marilynmansonsothereye · 04/03/2020 10:04

Are you and him 12 ,OP? You fix it by getting rid of the puerile manipulation asshole and moving on.

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/03/2020 10:06

You can’t fix it and it isn’t worth trying. He’s an idiot: what you “really like” about him surely can’t outweigh the reality that not only did he not trust you enough in the first place to believe you were sending the messages, but that he’s also obviously a bit hard of thinking in still essentially blaming you.

sarahjconnor · 04/03/2020 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedRedWines · 04/03/2020 10:16

YABU because why on Earth would you want to fix things with an in imbecile?

Member984815 · 04/03/2020 10:16

Don't waste anymore time on this fool move on to someone who is able to separate fact from fiction

Shoxfordian · 04/03/2020 10:19

He's an idiot
Don't waste your time

Thinkingabout1t · 04/03/2020 10:20

Definitely let him go. Even if he eventually forgives you for the thing you didn’t do, he’ll soon find some other imaginary fault to blame you for.

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