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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being blamed for something I haven’t done

157 replies

BlameSlame · 04/03/2020 09:47

Something happened between me and my boyfriend last year. I won’t say exactly what if was because it’s quite a specific thing. But say it was something like I was accused of doing something behind his back, he thought it was me sending messages to him from anonymous account on Facebook. We split up for a bit because of this even though I’d always told him it wasn’t me. I kind of understood why he thought it was me because of who was actually doing it and also couldn’t prove it wasn’t me because how do you prove a negative event?

Anyway he found out for sure it wasn’t me. Knows it definitely wasn’t me and we were trying again. But now he’s said he can’t get past it and ended things with me again yesterday because he said even though he knows it wasn’t me, that every time he looks at me, it still crosses his mind that it could have been me.

AIBU to think those two things are impossible to believe at the same time? And that it’s massively unfair that I’m potentially losing someone I really like because of something I haven’t done.

How can I fix this? He already knows it wasn’t me so I have nothing to prove.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 04/03/2020 23:09

OP, once again, you can't fix this. You both tried. It didn't work. Whatever happened last year did too much damage to your relationship.Sad

You can't fix it so it's time to move on and learn from it.Flowers

hellsbellsmelons · 04/03/2020 23:29

A PP has it.
'It's not you it's me' crap
He's dumping you.
He's trying to do it nicely.
Just let him go.
Stop flogging this dead horse and move on.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/03/2020 00:20

100% honest - he doesn't want to go out with you any more.
It might be because he's a nice guy and he knows he's having paranoid thoughts that will affect things between you - which is fair enough - but he STILL does NOT want to be with you.

So stop trying to "fix it" - there's nothing there to fix now. It's done.

OlaEliza · 05/03/2020 00:34

Anyway he found out for sure it wasn’t me. Knows it definitely wasn’t me and we were trying again. But now he’s said he can’t get past it and ended things with me again yesterday because he said even though he knows it wasn’t me, that every time he looks at me, it still crosses his mind that it could have been

People say once the trust has gone it's not worth carrying on. He obviously thought it could have been you that did this thing and it's brought to light a doubt he has about you. He's doing the right thing for you both imo.

AnneKipanki · 05/03/2020 07:46

At least he has ended it with a reason.

AnneKipanki · 05/03/2020 07:52

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3839001-Being-blamed-for-something-I-haven-t-done
At least you have an explanation. However it is OVER .
Get rid of your friend. Find a new bf .

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