Would you find it rude if

[Singlebutmarried]

Your child received a party invite saying if you would like to give a gift x is saving for a large present so a contribution towards large present would be appreciated.

I’m looking at putting this in DDs invites later this year and wondering about the wording.

I wouldn’t mind personally being asked for cash towards something.

I’d find it rather rude if it was for a school kid party. Wouldn’t if it was close family.

No, not rude. I'd find it practical and helpful.

Yes very rude!

Ok for close family, not school friends.

Close family would be fine. School friend I would find it rude.
My DD likes to go out and choose a gift for her friends when she is invited to their parties.

I'd find it a bit annoying as I have a present box which I shop for in the sales, usually getting £10 presents for around £3-£4. I wouldn't feel comfortable putting a £5 in a card so people may either not come or contribute more than they can afford

Tricky. I normally put money in a card anyway (so they can do exactly that) but would never ask for money. Luckily most parents ask for ideas so I would then use that opportunity to say the above.. Although my DS loves getting any present over cash.

This always divides people on here. I have no issue with it and think it's better than 30 small impersonal bits of plastic, but some posters think that asking for money is akin to offering heroin at a kids' party.

Aren't we all supposed to work towards buying less crap?

No that's very cheeky and rude. You can't ask school friends for money as a present.

Fiver parties seem to be really popular with my kids peers. It makes life easy for everyone and they love being able to buy something bigger that all the group has contributed to.
They are late primary.
Start a new trend!

I'd love that. I prefer to give cash, especially if I don't know the kid well. So much easier and they can get something they really want.

Yes absolutely fine!

I would rather give a fiver then give some random plastic tat that goes to landfill.

I wouldn't mind. I've often asked parents if the DC's we're saving for something and would they prefer cash and have been met with a relieved smile and told that yes, they are. It's easier for me, less tat, and the child gets something they want.
How old are the children involved?
Could your DD tell her friends that she's saving and get the message through that way?

Really awful TBH

Give people the option - eg
DC is football mad so would love anything football related or a fiver towards his football kit he's been saving for.

I'd find it immensely helpful. I hate waste (wasting my money and buying a present that won't be enjoyed). If I could contribute to something big that was really wanted I'd be very happy. My DS had his birthday recently and got about 6 boxes of lego from friends. He doesn't enjoy lego so I'm going to re-gift it all. He recently got a Nintendo and I just wish I'd asked for a contribution towards games. Then these parents wouldn't have wasted their money and DS would have got something he wanted.

Not rude at all.

@mclover that’s a really good idea.

I always ask other parents when we receive an invite ‘is there anything in particular DC is collecting at the mo or are they saving for something?’

Just read the other posts. I'm really surprised so many people find it rude!! Surely it's good and more sustainable to put money towards something big rather than buy loads of stuff which won't be enjoyed?!

Yes, rude, cheeky & grabby. Sorry.

I think it's great! Much better for the environment, less unnecessary stuff cluttering houses and creating landfill. I now always put cash in a card for birthdays, much more sensible in so many ways.

Now, if people could only stop birthday cards as well we'd really be making a difference

Great idea! Especially if you suggest a fiver, like previous posters have said. I would much rather give towards a larger present than buy a smaller item.
All mine are grown up now but I would have found this easy and guilt free giving!

I agree with giving them the option, eg we appreciate the time and effort involved in giving a gift. X is saving up for a particular item, and if you would prefer to give cash, she will be just as happy to put it towards that as receiving a surprise

I much rather give money towards something they want rather than some token gift that ends up in landfill

I think it's a good idea.
I was asked not to give a present rather a donation to a organisation as a present so I donated the present allowance, good for the kids to raise funds for a charity they care about.
The fiver presents a great idea.