Would you say something to DD about her clothes

[wouldyousaysomething]

DD is 17 and has some really lovely clothes. She is quite big but when she dresses well looks gorgeous.

Quite often though she wears some of her clothes in a really unflattering way.
Think short tops with see through leggings.

She'll wear an off the shoulder top & skirt when it is snowing outside or if we're going out for a walk wearing boots.

IABU to tell her that she's wearing her clothes in an unflattering way or that her choice isn't suitable for the occasion?

She's 17 so it feels VU but she looks ridiculous and not in a 'teenage quirky experimenting with fashion' way.

But the generation gap means they have different views on what looks decent or good or flattering. The majority of girls her age wear those types of outfits and consider them decent. It's self obsessed to project your own views on what looks good onto another person

Could you spend some time finding her a few new things that might be better? Some more flattering trousers / thicker leggings or whatever... When I was about 15 I was grateful for any new clothes

The most important thing is her confidence. she might regain some kind of dress sense eventually but if you shatter her confidence thats way harder to regain and more damaging for your relationship.

I'd just compliment her when she's got it right. Otherwise she may wear certain things just to rebel. As for the coat thing I get that with my teens. I wait until they come home freezing say is it cold out? They say yeah and next day the coats on again. A couple of days later back to square one! She's old enough to know when she needs a coat. As for the fashion just leave it for now. I expect there might come a time when she asks your opinion but not if you offer it without her asking first. Hard I know but there are plenty more important issues I'm sure. We learn by our mistakes so she'll get there.

I'd leave her to it at 17 it is tricky as you don't need an outsider criticising her, my niece has excess weight on her she is a size 12 to 14 but wears size 10 clothes, sometimes I eternally tut, she is not unique or unusual among her friends, the don't have hang ups about bits hanging out.
she'll find her style soon

Probably too late to reply but if the op's still reading, I wouldn't say too much if this was my dd. I'd probably say, in as nice a way as possible, that her leggings are starting to look a bit worn and that you can see through them, and offer to buy her some new ones. Then I'd make sure the ones I bought were better quality/thicker (or try and get her on to jeggings. I like jeggings). I wouldn't comment on her style or anything like that because I doubt that would go down well.

I’m almost 55 and my mother still comments on my style..clothes “too revealing” hair- “ too long and wild. It would be so much better if you would go with a short style” ( I would rather poke forks in my eye than get a short haircut) I do probably as your daughter, op..”uh huh, ok, maybe..” just to get her to shut the hell up.

Ps. She knows her leggings are thin and she doesn’t care.

sometimes I eternally tut

Oh god, me too.

No. You'll give her self confidence issues. Who has the right to tell her she's not dressing "right"? If she's happy, say nothing. Just because you don't like the clothes, it doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. It's only her OWN opinion that counts. This comes from a mum whose daughter wears floral top with spotty trousers lol!

I'd buy her some decent quality leggings, big black pants for underneath them (not if they're white though 😲) and leave her be

I'd comment on the things she DOES look nice in - 'that really suits you!' Frankly, I'm quite a dodgy dresser, and flattery works better on me :)

Step back.

She may not like what you wear.

I would definitely mention the see through leggings, I'd not be happy if everyone could see my underwear and nobody told me!

I would gently let her know that her leggings are see through, I was wearing mine for months and I didnt realise. When I was out in the sun one day, my mum said I can see your knickers, 🙈I was mortified. Probably look into getting her thicker leggings . VERY do some great curve leggings, great material and nice and thick. Sainsburys and tesco too. And using layers are good like kimono cardies,there all in atm to wear over small tops. I'm hopeless with fashion and I'm always greatful if my mum or someone suggests what may suit my body shape. Hope this helps

Are you in a position to take her shopping, and help her buy some more flattering clothes? Doesn't have to be blatantly about her wardrobe, you can get yourself some bits and discuss openly with her how you want something to flatter your arms/waist/whatever and try and get a dialogue going about deessing to best flatter your shape/fashion/what her taste is, to give you a better understanding of what she likes.

Fat people don't have to dress "flattering" or try to hide their lumps and bumps and what not. The see through leggings, yes mentioned that but otherwise let the girl choose what to wear. Otherwise you are teaching her that her mum, the one person who should be lifting her up and giving her confidence, is like the rest of the world and telling her what she should or shouldn't wear

I sometimes feel the same, my DD is 43 when she goes out clubbing once every 2 to 3 weeks she wears things I think are a bit to young, like she will wear a very short dress with a low cut top with boob all on show. I once did say it's better if you have legs or boob out, not both, but was told it's what all the girls wear when out clubbing sometimes they wear less, didn't have the heart to say maybe they are a few years younger than her.

Flattering is subjective anyway for example an older person often wants their thighs, hips and bum to appear smaller so would have a different perception of what's flattering to a younger person. Anyway, I really don't think teaching a teenage girl that her body is a problem that needs to be flattered or disguised or made to look a certain way because the way it looks is 'wrong'...

I know I’m late to the party but please be careful how you approach it - I still remember my mum doing the same thing and it made me feel awful and self conscious . I’d offer to to take her shopping then really flatter her in some appropriate clothes :)

Guess what? Things are changing- out there you have role models on the cover of every magazine and smashing it in the music world who are NOT apologetic about their size. These super cool young women will go out in the pink sparkly cat suit - big booty, belly rolls and all. Let your daughter do her thing- she actually knows much better than you what is cool. I have 3 daughters myself btw

Does she ask you for advice or input. I would be very careful how you word it if you do say something. Maybe go shopping and buy her some thicker leggings?

If I looked awful I would want to know. There ARE useful rules of thumb about what suits different body types (like v-necks are good if you’ve got a big chest, high round necks not so much) but how are you supposed to know if nobody tells you?

But it has to be done very tactfully. Maybe better coming from a personal shopper than a mother.

I’d tell her you can plainly see her pants! Surely that’s what mothers do and nothing to do with her size.

It seems you have done an amazing job and raised a confident young girl ... I'm sure there has been and will be people who snigger behind her back about what she is wearing (but that's true of young girls of any size), but she is still out there wearing what she wants .. good on her. It's hard not to worry but you have already done a great job protecting her by making her the confident lady she is

Yeah ea of course u can tell her your opinion - Whether she listens to it or not is different !
My son is 17 and I tell him what I think about sone of his clothing choices .