To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

[ladybirdees]

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

Don't we all. And yet, we compromise for the sake of other people.

MrBrim had to be up at 5am yesterday for a work trip to America. I wouldn't dream of telling him he couldn't shower. In his shoes I wouldn't want to take a 9 hour flight without showering before and after. Flights always make me feel gross.
We don't have a baby just a 10YO and he never uses a hairdryer, so less noisy.

I’m shocked at the number of people saying they couldn’t ever make an exception and shower the night before even if it inconvenienced their other half and baby, how selfish can you get?

Sure the ideal is to shower when you wake up but unless your 25 stone I’m sure no one sweats so profusely that a quick wipe around the key areas with a flannel wouldn’t suffice until they got to their destination.

Yes he'll shower after skiing and then again in the morning. He is squeaky clean.

I'm baffled by the idea that someone needs to shower within 3 hours of getting on a plane. The night before is fine surely!

As for showering before one hits the ski slopes, that's just ridiculous. You're only going to get sweaty anyway. Might as well just wait and shower when you're done for the day.

He's being MASSIVELY unreasonable OP. I'd be irritated.

Everyone needs to stop bringing up the ‘hes swanning off on a 3 day jolly’- presumable the op agreed to this, so not really fair to throw it back in his face. Some couples are capable of having separate holidays.

Blow dry downstairs to ensure he doesn’t wake the baby up. It’s a hairdryer not a loudspeaker. Simple.

No way would I get up and go without a shower and drying my hair. You are the unreasonable one

He must have skin of iron, showering that often in cold weather :o

I agree that flights do make you feel gross. I'd be the opposite way around - shower night before, sneak out in the morning and have a de-planing shower at the destination. Planes are grim.

YANBU re the hairdryer, but YABU re the shower. If I was your DH I wouldn't be able to go without showering. I'd do the hotel thing if it was such a big deal.

Yes and he'd be happy for me to go away for 4 days on my own although the reality of that is less achievable.

I'm a there nowhere he can dry his hair in the house that wouldn't wake up the DC?

Everyone has the hump with him that he's swanning off on a ski trip but presumably OP agreed to that and is happy for him to go, so that's not relevant. If she didn't the issue isn't the shower.

I’m shocked at the number of people saying they couldn’t ever make an exception and shower the night before even if it inconvenienced their other half and baby, how selfish can you get?

I am 100% this 'selfish' - I literally couldn't do it. I'd rather cancel the whole trip than go without a shower.

I literally couldn't do it. I'd rather cancel the whole trip than go without a shower.

Sorry, but there's something very wrong there.

I just got here but want to add my voice to the chorus of he WBU. My husband has mucho body hair (fills me with pride) but never blow dries it, only occasionally his head hair if it's really cold out. And he's another one who is uncomfortable going out without showering in the morning, but he absolutely 100% wouldn't wake me up at 4.30 by doing it! Shower at the airport etc would have been so easy! But OP well done for reading out some of this thread to him. I'm glad he was suitably abashed. No need to LTB just yet, bless him

Your turn now ;)

coffeeforone seriously?

How long is his hair exactly?! Surely he could shower and towel dry it like most guys do!

coffeeforone would you shower after travelling too, because surely that makes you more grubby than a few hours in bed if you have a shower the night before?

I am 100% this 'selfish' - I literally couldn't do it. I'd rather cancel the whole trip than go without a shower.

What exactly happens if you shower around 10pm, have a few hours of sleep and then just get on with leaving the house at silly o'clock am?

How would you not be still clean?

Think this post was written about my husband 😂

Do you turn into a gremlin if you're not exposed to water between the hours of 00:01am and 8.00am?

'Oh I think I might book another skiing trip...'

'Sorry, no. Last time you were too selfish about it - the refusing to even leave qiuetly so that everything could be just perfect for you even if that meant a really difficult day for me, meant that you used up your goodwill. I don't see why I should facilitate it again as there is no consideration for me. So - no consideration for you either, now. I won't cover for you so that you can go. Sorry.'

I literally couldn't do it. I'd rather cancel the whole trip than go without a shower.

So you would LITERALLY cancel a ski trip because you had to shower the night before, instead of at 4.30am before leaving the house? Are you being perfectly serious?