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Original poster

To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

288 replies

ladybirdees · 02/03/2020 21:22

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
thefemalelemur · 03/03/2020 07:42

YANBU, he is being an in inconsiderate twat. Is he going with any single friends? If so tell him to go round there before leaving for the airport and ponce about with his hair.

AryaStarkWolf · 03/03/2020 07:45

What a selfish prat, of course hes Being unreasonable

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2020 07:53

Not suggesting we go back to those days, but unless you're in a manual job or you sweet profusely in bed, you do not smell after missing one shower. Especially as our clothes are washed much more frequently now, too.

He could/should have showered the night before

GabsAlot · 03/03/2020 07:54

simon why do you ask how do you dry your hair-

with a towel

PotholeParadise · 03/03/2020 08:00

Why does his hair need to be washed at 4:30am? Could he not wash it the day before, and put a shower cap over it for this essential pre-flight shower?

NearlyGranny · 03/03/2020 08:04

Man hair generally doesn't need blow-drying and he'll have a hat on ffs.

I hope he crept into the shower and to welled his head vigorously without waking anyone!

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/03/2020 08:07

I'm really not understanding all.of the disparaging remarks about a man drying his hair. Do you say the same about women who blow dry their hair - are we vain, twats etc?

The only time I've ever had to wash and blow dry my hair every morning was when I had very short hair - I'd get up in the morning looking like a scarecrow, with my hair sticking out in all directions.

Fair enough if people think that he's unreasonable for risking waking the baby but I can't understand the need for the "eww, what man blow dries his hair" comments.

nannybeach · 03/03/2020 08:11

I DH gets up at 5 or a lot earlier for work, he is mostly fairly quiet, (I am a very light sleeper) but sometimes he will come in the bedroom and put on the light. He is lucky doesnt sweat, comes home and showers before bed, (dirty job) I sweat for England, often up in the night for cold wash, wouldnt work for me. I am sure there are lots of couples where one goes to work before the other, I would be using the hairdryer in another room, being as quiet as possible.

MzHz · 03/03/2020 08:13

He’s not just blow drying his short hair... he blow dries his BODY to feel “bone dry”

Inconsiderate AND frankly bonkers twat tbh.

If he values having the luxury of being able to just fuck off for fun and leaving the wife and dc at home, you’d think he’d do whatever it took to make it easier for op, not doing stuff that disturbs the whole house at 4am and then leaving chaos and exhaustion in his wake.

He literally has zero right to get pissy about what is a request that shouldn’t have needed to be made in the first place!

TryingToBeBold · 03/03/2020 08:26

So I would always shower in the morning. It just wakes me up.
However I would be considerate and take my hairdryer as far away from any sleeping person as I could.

However if you're partly annoyed at him waking the baby and you having to deal with the kids every day whilst he is gone... if you LTB you'll be doing it every day anyway.

SimonJT · 03/03/2020 08:33

@GabsAlot A towel reduces moisture in your hair, but it doesn’t actually dry it. I washed my hair this morning at about 7, if I didn’t use a hairdryer it would still be wet now, no matter how much I towelled it, and I can’t wear a towel on my head on the way to work 😂

billy1966 · 03/03/2020 08:34

I honestly can't imagine myself being married to someone so self absorbed that on top of going skiing for several days leaving me with our children he would insist on showering and BLOW-DRYING at 4.30 am and waking our baby......and thinking it was reasonable.

This type of thinking is NEVER in isolation.

I bet he has form for being a selfish twat generally.

You have my sympathy OPFlowers

ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2020 08:36

But Simon for one morning would it matter if your hair was slightly damp rather than bone dry?

Original poster
ladybirdees · 03/03/2020 08:36

Predictably the baby woke so I endured the wee hours being smacked in the face by a baby whilst I tried and failed to lull us all back to sleep. Finally gave up and watched cbeebies for an hour before the breakfast routine kicked off and have now finally got the older two to school. Nap time beckons for the baby and me!

OP posts:
Gotthetshirt23 · 03/03/2020 08:36

Are you having four days away and leaving him with the kids ?

lowlandLucky · 03/03/2020 08:37

LoopyLou A long flight ? He is only away for 4 days so i would imagine he is skiing in Europe Not Aspen

diddl · 03/03/2020 08:39

I won't condemn him for wanting a shower when he gets up.

Showering in the evening just doesn't work for me somehow.

I would still want to shower again in the morning.

But if he's just walking to a car & then driving to the airport I would have thought that just rubbing short hair with a towel would be enough.

Does he blow dry himself also?

That's an odd habit imo.

sunshineANDsweetpeas · 03/03/2020 08:42

I would be more than slightly pissed office with him. It's not like he's having to leave for a work conference and da to be neat and tidy. He's off skiing ffs, chances are he's prob going to be wearing a hat or helmet so who gives a fuck what his hair looks like. Shower and then leave - you sore he's not off with a woman, seems a lot of effort for a weekend away with mates?

sunshineANDsweetpeas · 03/03/2020 08:42

Christ apologies for the typos

ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2020 08:43

So did he have a shower and blow dry his hair OP?

GabsAlot · 03/03/2020 08:45

and you can't go out with slightly damp hair Simon?

PotholeParadise · 03/03/2020 08:47

SimonJT

This must be a hair-type thing. If I washed my hair at 7 and roughly dried it with a towel, I would absolutely expect it to dry the rest of the way within two hours. If I had hair that needed blow-drying, I would only wash it in the evening.

Original poster
ladybirdees · 03/03/2020 08:47

The blow drying is not to create a lustrous bouffant a la David Dickinson. He says the shower/dry combo is to feel awake and properly clean and dry. There's no curling irons and hairspray involved.

OP posts:
Original poster
ladybirdees · 03/03/2020 08:50

Yes he showered and the blow dry took place downstairs, that was the compromise we came to.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 03/03/2020 08:51

So I assume he will have a shower after skiing, so will he have another shower the next morning?

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