To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

[ladybirdees]

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

Or cut the plug off it.

Half kidding.

Honestly I couldn’t leave the house before a shower and washing my hair, no matter how early. It would just make me feel so uncomfortable and like my day was all wrong. Why not let him book the hotel? Then everyone is happy

Really? He is a fuckwit of the highest order.
He's swanning off for a 4 day jolly amd you're lumped with getting on with everything.
I don't even know you and I'm fantasizing about stabbing him to death with a rusty screwdriver.

Oh and just in case it wasn't clear YANBU.

My DH is like this. Has to have a shower when he gets up, no matter what time it is and no matter that he showers at bedtime.

He was travelling for work last week and had be away by 5am. He went in the shower before bed at midnight, slept 4 hours, then got up and had a shower . Does my head in.

I can’t get past the need to blow dry hair tbh. What have you married?!

Blow drying his hair is unnecessary. I wouldn’t want to get on a flight without a shower, though.

I'd let him book the hotel. I mean, personally I think he's being ridiculous, because travelling always makes you feel grubby and then he's going to go straight out and ski and come back even grubbier, but people feel strongly about these things and frankly it would be less hassle to pack him off to a hotel than to have him flouncing at home.

So he's off for a solo holiday while you look after the kids and he can't even sacrifice one morning of blow drying his hair? I'd be making a list of all the things you do to make his life easier that are going to stop on his return and texting it to him when he's on the flight home.

Blowdry his hair? Melania hun just LISTEN to us and LTB.

He's being utterly ridiculous. He can shower the night before, have a wash with a flannel (like people did in the old days) or a "festival wash" with some baby wipes in the morning and be clean enough to go skiing as soon as he steps off the plane.
He can shower and blow to his hearts content when he's done on the slopes.

Hiphopotamus I do think he feels the same about showering as you do so I have some understanding there and normally I'm ok with it but I don't see why the whole family should potentially suffer for it.

The blow drying is important. He likes to feel 'bone dry' all over.

Why not call his bluff......let the baby keep him awake until 4.30am, then see how his shower goes! You of course happily have a lie in, with baby, once he has gone!

What a vain selfish twat.
Jesus!

Quite apart from the blowdrying business (is he David Dickinson or Laurence L-B?) - he IBVU! He's swanning off on a jolly and leaving you with three children? The least he can do is creep out quietly!

And skiing is a sweaty, sticky business. He won't come back from the piste smelling of roses so it really won't hurt him to go straight from the hotel in a slightly less than fragrant condition! Planes and airports are cool - he really won't have an issue if he showers the night before and then not until the following evening. FFS!!

What does it matter if he is sweaty/ smelly when he skis anyway? Is he trying to impress somebody? (ltb!!!!!!)

Tell him he can have his shower and blow dry so long as you can too when you leave him with the 3 children to go skiing with your pals.

His wanting to ski straight away does not trump your need for a full night’s sleep.

How selfish is he? A four day jolly leaving you to solo parenting is not enough, he cannot be cheated out of twenty minutes skiing to aid his wife?

^blow dry obviously. Thanks autocorrect.

Assuming he hasn't gone to bed already, let him know that if he wakes the baby, he will be the one settling him/her back down!
That may put a new perspective on his need to shower - and won't he get sweaty skiing anyway?
BTW, I do hope you have a break away planned for yourself when baby is old enough to be left.

What an inconsiderate prick. Of course it's not OK to wake up the entire household for his ablutions - what makes him the most important person in the house?

And not wanting to shower when he gets there so he can get straight out on the slopes is pure selfishness.

Unforgivably selfish. Tell him I said I think he's an arse

Could he use the hair dryer in another room if he has to dry his hair?

I'm with the others though, shower tonight before bed, it's only a few hours he'll be sleeping, and it's cold!

My husband leaves the house at all times of the day and night and will jump in the shower, but bollocks to him blasting a hairdryer at 4am.

Book the hotel and wave him off the evening before after the kids are in bed and enjoy a stress free night. Perfect.