To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

[ladybirdees]

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

Which ones baby? The father going on a short, agreed holiday, which his DW could also take if she wanted to or the ones who think it's reasonable to sit next to people on a plane without showering?

If the suggestion of a hotel was only made "to show you how ridiculous you are" (his notion) what would he do if you said "Yes, I suppose that would be one solution' darling". Call his bluff.

Love the fact that he at least has hair.

A blow dry!! 😆😆

I don't think he's being unreasonable. I would do the same if I were him. He is being clean and sensible.

You can just go back to sleep surely. As for having the children on your own for four days. You'll cope. I have done it for two weeks with mine when my DH has been away although admittedly that was for work.

I think gin ( and in copious amounts) will help you.

Good luck.

Yes, I'm sure that for once I could shower the night before, have a wash & then shower at the hotel just a few hrs later.

It must be awful having a shower that wakes a baby!

or the ones who think it's reasonable to sit next to people on a plane without showering?

Jesus christ, how smelly do you think people get in the space of four or five hours? You think people who have a shower before bed and a wash in the morning are going to be smelly? They really won't unless they have some sort of medical condition that cause excess sweating or something

So what is the difference between having a shower last thing at night and then getting up 6 hours later and not having a shower, or getting up at normal hour in the morning and having a shower and then leaving the house 6 hours later, when you have been doing things round the house so not sitting perfectly still. How much more grubby do you get?

Is it any more ridiculous that the DH had to have a shower in the early hours of the morning after having a few hours in bed, but won't have a shower after travelling for a similar number of hours and then putting on clean clothes to go skiing?

@ElderAve the ones who couldn’t possibly shower and blow dry their hair in the evening, then lie unconscious in (presumably) clean sheets for a few hours before getting up and getting on a plane, but who insist that their need to “feel clean” is more important than not disturbing their wife and baby’s sleep. I mean it’s not like he’s going to a job interview or performing surgery!

You can just go back to sleep surely.

The issue is the baby.................who didn't go back to sleep

YADNBU

Tell him to sleep in his rollers, ffs. My DH wouldn't be going skiing if he woke the baby up at 4.30am because I'd have impaled him with a fucking ski. What is wrong with men and expensive hobbies?!

Tell him to sleep in his rollers, ffs.

Absolutely!

the ones who think it's reasonable to sit next to people on a plane without showering?

There is a big difference between the smell of fresh sweat from someone who has washed within the last 12-24 hours and the ingrained smell of someone who hasn't washed for days. It also depends on things like diet and how often they wash their clothes. Someone who has showered the night before, slept in clean sheets and then put on clean clothes is not going to be offensive.

There are far worse things you can do on a plane. I have no problem with someone who showered the night before but not that morning. I have a problem with someone who cannot grasp that I paid for my seat and they're not entitled to encroach on it.

Seriously, is it that difficult to work this out?

I'm up at 0530 for work.

Shower the night before, in morning up splash face, brush teeth and out.

Simple.

For everyone who have to have showers in the morning come what may, does everyone in the household have showers in the morning, or do some family members have baths/showers in the evening?

Also are the ones who possibly couldn't be seen dead without having washed their hair no matter what time in the morning they have to wash it, the same people who only use a towel once?

I'm going to have to contact my past colleagues to see if I smelled then. Because I had early starts, so showered before bed, then pits, bits and teeth in the morning before flying out of the door.

I do wonder what we all smelled like when I was a kid/teenager, hot water was at a premium, and showers rare. So it was a bath a couple of times a week, and washing in between.
Did we all walk round in a fug of BO?

For everyone who have to have showers in the morning come what may, does everyone in the household have showers in the morning

Yes. And I’ve had a bath/shower every day for as long as I can remember. There was plenty of hot water in the 50s, 60s, 70s ...

Did we all walk round in a fug of BO?

Yes, but mercifully it was disguised by the stench of cigarette smoke.

Seriously, we have become very intolerant of the smell of humans. Personally I prefer it to the smell of some cheap, strong perfumes, but there we are.

So silly. I wouldn't be so inconsiderate to wake my partner with a 4:30 shower let alone my kid. Plenty of countries have an evening shower as routine. Wouldn't hurt for him to do it just this once would it?

There was plenty of hot water in the 50s, 60s, 70s

That might have been the case for you, but it wasn't for many (most in the 50s/early 60s?)
We at least had a bathroom, but use of the immersion heater was expensive and it only got put on for an hour. We had to share the bathwater.

Several of my friends didn't have bathrooms. My mum's best friend used to come to our house every Sunday evening to have a bath. This was in the mid '60s.

*Did we all walk round in a fug of BO?

Yes, but mercifully it was disguised by the stench of cigarette smoke.* :o :o :o :o :o

people here are so weird about showering routines. My skin would fall off if I showered every morning. I also prefer the smell of humans to the smell of strong perfume! Honestly the number of times I've come across a person who absolutely reeked to an unpleasant degree numbers... two, and I lived in London for years.

Yes, but mercifully it was disguised by the stench of cigarette smoke.

Ha! True enough in our house. I don't know how my brother and I survived with a chain-smoking parent and grandparents.

My DH has never used a hair dryer. Not even to dry is bum hair. Are you married to Lawrence llewyn Bowen?

he is a dick.

If my husband woke the baby at 4am because he was drying his hair before going on a fun holiday solo, I would feed all his luggage down the waste disposal one by one rather than let him leave without getting the baby back to sleep. And if he missed his flight, well, consequences.

Does he do some of the night shifts usually op? Or does he just not have a clue?

Yes people did smell more before daily bathing was the norm but as everyone did it was less noticable.

There is no physiological need to wash everyday. It's a sociological construct that makes a lot of money for the beauty industry. Wash the collar and cuffs daily, do not use scented soaps on or inside the vagina, it upsets the natural ph level and can cause serious discomfort. It also feeds some difficult to treat ocd. Believe it or not the body has a very good ability to look after its self. It's not a toilet or kitchen sink.