To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

[ladybirdees]

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

DH has just returned from a weekend jolly leaving me with the DC. Totally fine. He sneaked out really early and although I was aware he was heading out, he didn't wake the kids up. He showered the night before despite a 3hr drive and a busy day when he arrived. Maybe not ideal for him but what is ideal (in terms of personal space and time) when you have kids?

Honestly send him off to a hotel room.

You're going to get woken up otherwise, and you'll be up allllll day.

Kiss him goodbye and send him off on good terms, rather than furious in the morning when he wakes you all up. Even blow-drying downstairs is going to wake the baby unless you have a massive house.

It doesn't matter what the reason is. I would literally never leave the house without a shower, ever. It's one night and the baby is overwhelmingly likely to go back to sleep once it all goes quiet again.

Would love to see a thread on here saying 'my DH said I'm not allowed to have a shower' and read what people said then.

I wouldn’t be looking for a compromise, I’d be looking for him to do whatever it takes to not wake either me or the children.

He will be wearing a helmet and goggles his hair will be wrecked after that. What a vain man you have married. I would be hiding the hair dryer at the very least, or lobbing it out of the window if pushed too far.

Tell him as a compromise he can have his shower and blowdry his hair at 2.30. Then he'll have time to get the baby back to sleep before he leaves the house

Take a bow @pallisers - fab response! 😂

Is he aware of the damage of excessive washing and drying does to the skin, scalp and hair ? It's he seriously blow drying his body ? Your electric bill must be horrendous.

Hang on, am I missing something. Can he not shower and wash his hair tonight before bed like any normal person would do knowing they have an early flight in the morning?

Yes, the rest of the thread, lillybelle05.

Just read your follow up message, OP, honestly, he's OTT. No one needs a shower at 4.30am in winter after few hours in bed. And certainly not before going skiing straight from the airport, is he thinking he won't get sweaty then and his hair will look like in the Pantene advert? I mean, WTA prince. You're too understanding, put yourself and your DCs first.

What a total twat.

At 4.30am with a baby in the house both the shower and the blow dry are pretty unreasonable.

Showering before bed and getting up at 4.30am very very quietly are what I would expect a reasonable person to do.

Oh, thank you ever so much for your insight, category12, what would I do without that.

I love Palliser's suggestion. And I cannot believe he blow dries his hair🙄🙄🙄

Surely he’d want to shower after travelling anyway?

Audacity I would be saying the same thing if the DW was going off on a jolly and leaving DH at home with 3 kids including a baby, I would be expecting she did whatever suited DH and DC.

I like having a shower and wash my hair in the morning, but if it was going to disturb the rest of the family in the early hours of the morning, then I would do something else.

You asked. That's why RTFT is so often said.

The more you post, OP, the more attractive the hotel option looks.

And please book your own holiday leaving him to sort out the children every day for at least a week. I'm fascinated to see how the obsession with the shower routine and feeling totally clean will fit in with that.

Major eyeroll that some people really can be arsed to comment like you category12, MN's finest. Stay delighted, love.

Well it's pretty selfish and vain of him.

I'd LTB for blowdrying his hair, wtf? Am I the only one who thinks this is prize knob territory?

Nope 😂

Tell him he can't leave until and unless the baby is asleep ... via his efforts, not yours.

You are letting him go skiing while taking on the full care of the little ones for 4 days. The least he can do is not leave like a twat.

Yes. Aren't I awful, reading the thread, responding to the op, and gently taking the piss out of you because you asked if you'd missed something. Terrible. I'll go think about what I've done.

Blackmail him hairdryer for his passport.

I'd take the fuse out of the hairdryer plug.

He's being ridiculous, OP. Unless he has a particularly sweaty head, he can shower the night before.

It doesn't matter what the reason is. I would literally never leave the house without a shower, ever.
And this is why the planets fucked.

Hope he showered before ( even at 9pm tonight that’s only 24hrs before he has another after skiing tomorrow).
Bet he wakes them all up though.....