Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

288 replies

ladybirdees · 02/03/2020 21:22

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 02/03/2020 23:38

Yanbu.

faracrossthepond · 02/03/2020 23:41

@ArthurandJessie

Sorry it sounds a little petty I cant imagine telling my husband when he can and can't shower :/

Sorry it sounds a little petty, but you need to read the OP's posts properly before posting! Hmm

He is waking their babies, by showering, blow-drying his barnet, and fucking about getting ready for HIS SKI-ING holiday at 4.30 in the morning!!! Hmm

Meanwhile the OP is left to deal with the fall out while he fucks off on holiday.

If you think that's OK, you need help! Confused

saraclara · 02/03/2020 23:56

He sounds somewhat obsessive.

It just wasn't an option to have daily showers until relatively recently. I don't know how we managed. Except of course we did. It's all just got a bit out of hand if people are so psychologically dependent that they are literally unable to leave the house without one.

AlexaAmbidextra · 02/03/2020 23:56

I have a picture in my head of a BeeGees circa 1978 lookalike, with a perfectly blow dried coiffure. 😂. A bit like this.

To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower
faracrossthepond · 02/03/2020 23:57

@AlexaAmbidextra That hairstyle is a tragedy! Grin

AlexaAmbidextra · 02/03/2020 23:59

That hairstyle is a tragedy!

😂😂😂

Excited101 · 03/03/2020 00:03

Christ! He needs to get over himself! His want for a wash and a blow dry at 4:30am does in no way trump the rest of the household’s need for sleep! What a ridiculous man!

MrsBeeluga · 03/03/2020 00:06

Tell him to shower at the airport.

Summer2003 · 03/03/2020 00:12

Blow dry his hair??!!........ Seriously he's gonna be putting a Ski helmet on ffs! YANBU here's hoping you get a 4 day child free jolly soon x

Zombiemum1946 · 03/03/2020 00:27

He could always plug in the extension cable in and blow dry in the shed.

ArabSprings · 03/03/2020 00:35

YANBU. But sounds like he’s not budging. Not sure what your home set up is like but if we know we’re going to Be up early or need to shower and blow dry before babies wake up then we tend to do it in the room furthest away from the baby, all doors closed. Even put some white noise on for the baby that night to last the whole night (ours sleep through anything ever since we discovered the joy of white noise machines/apps! Give it a go if you don’t want to resort to ultimatums! Good luck and hope he doesn’t wake any of you.

MelanieFrontage · 03/03/2020 00:41

OP are you married to my ex? In his defence he was a particularly hirsute man but I....
Couldn’t.Actually.Believe.It when after the first shower that I witnessed him exiting from he towel dried himself and then proceeded to dry himself all over (yep!...) with a hairdryer.....
I can laugh about it now, at the time I was slightly bemused...

BitOfFun · 03/03/2020 00:52

"Blowdry his hair? Melania hun just LISTEN to us and LTB."

ROFL @tinnitusagain

pallisers · 03/03/2020 01:37

ROFL @tinnitusagain**

me too!

You know OP you could suggest to him that using the blowdrier while showering would speed things up :)

ArthurandJessie · 03/03/2020 02:46

@faracrossthepond I'm pretty sure I don't need any help but thanks for offering 😅 I just think it's a bit weird to be so controlling the husband is a grown adult if he wants a shower he can have a frigging shower 😅 hes going on holiday of course he wants to feel his best and why are people being so judgemental about him going away perhaps he takes the kids so op can go away with friends also we don't know the whole situation but if all your marriages are as petty betty as this I feel for you 😅

ArthurandJessie · 03/03/2020 02:51

@MingVase yeah we'd do things like that my husband doesn't have to miss out on everything because we have kids and niether do I we compromise :) I don't get why people have an issue with him going away maybe OP goes for trips away too is that also an issue?

Stuckupsnob · 03/03/2020 03:52

I’m going against the grain on this one. It’s ONE disruptive morning. So what if the baby wakes.

FWIW, my partner gets up EVERY morning at 4.45am and uses the hairdryer (thin hair looks too flat otherwise)

So many snowflakes on this site... it’s life fgs, go live in a solitary box by yourselves if you can’t cope.

And don’t bother tagging me because I won’t get the emails 😏

LostInTheColonies · 03/03/2020 04:07

Clearly he needs one of these. It'll keep him warm on the piste as well as hiding the undried hair.

To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower
Ponoka7 · 03/03/2020 04:17

@Leflic
"" It doesn't matter what the reason is. I would literally never leave the house without a shower, ever.""
"" And this is why the planets fucked.""

It's nothing to do with why the planet is fucked. We've overpopulated the planet, over consumed meat and if our goods aren't made of plastic then they're wrapped in it. We demand hotels were there should be trees and to use every beach.
Since the shut down in China the air and water quality has risen.
The DH is going on an unnecessary flight, on a environmentally bad holiday, being smelly isn't going to counteract that.

@ArthurandJessie, he isn't taking the kids, the OP doesn't want to get up at 4.30 to deal with the baby that he'll wake up by drying his hair, that's not unreasonable.

This is one of the downsides of only having bathrooms upstairs.
You should wash after waking up, if you are going into a enclosed space with other people.

Sissymate2 · 03/03/2020 04:35

@Notwiththeseknees
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

SimonJT · 03/03/2020 05:59

Going out without showering is disgusting, why should anyone have to sit next to someone on the aeroplane who hasn’t showered. He can just blow dry his hair in a different room, how else are you expected to dry your hair if you can’t use a hairdryer?

PooWillyBumBum · 03/03/2020 06:08

If you both feel the way you do staunchly could he stay over with one of the other (child free?) mates going on the trip?

YANBU

EatDiamondsForBreakfast · 03/03/2020 06:19

It won’t kill you to get up at 4:30am once in your life fgs. As if your baby can’t sleep through an adult having a shower Hmm

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2020 06:21

@SimonJT

Going out without showering is disgusting, why should anyone have to sit next to someone on the aeroplane who hasn’t showered
Bet you sit next to people like that all the time and you don't even know.

SimonJT · 03/03/2020 06:25

I do know, I have a colleague who showers every other day and tries to persuade others to do the same. She stinks.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.