To suggest I'd rather he didn't shower

[ladybirdees]

And blow dry his hair at 4.30am pre leaving for his flight. This is my DH leaving for a ski trip in the morning and he feels he cannot possibly get up and just sneak out whereas I know that him doing his full morning routine at that time will wake the baby and I could really do without that given i'm going to be here managing 3 children on my own for the next 4 days. I feel it's a small give on his part for family harmony whereas he cannot fathom the idea of leaving without a shower and has suggested the only alternative is him leaving tonight and staying in a hotel so he can have the shower without disturbing anyone. Who is being unreasonable?

Can he use a shower in the airport? They usually have them in the toilets.

Maybe they're minging, I'm the sort who's fine without a wash.

I never knew men blow dried their hair. I mean sex stereotypes can do one, and he’s welcome to, but it’s news to me.

Shower tonight, wash pits and bits before he goes out, that's all that is needed. If he really feels he needs a full shower at some point tomorrow, he'll have to delay going skiing while he does it. 30 minutes' delay won't kill him, whereas waking the baby up unnecessarily could well lead to justifiable homicide.

Jesus Christ is he just trying to find more ways to ruin the environment? Why on Earth does he need to blow dry his hair instead of letting it dry naturally? Why is his hair more important than his baby?? I wouldn't do all this crap before making a Vlog let alone going on a plane. If he can't stand waiting a few more hours for a shower and is willing to inconvenience everyone this much for his own compulsion, I think he needs a mental health assessment for OCD.

The blow drying is pretty ridiculous anyway. No-one cares what he looks like on the plane, and he'll be putting a hat/helmet on when he goes skiing.

@pallisers Lmao

He could blow dry his hair downstairs surely. If he wants to shower he can be very quiet and keep bathroom door closed.

What an arsehole!

No fucking chance. I'd e suggesting if he wakes any of the children, or you, then he's not going.

Ugh I've got the rage for you.

He's lovely and not normally selfish in any way, it is a genuine concern of his which I have understanding for. I could see the rising panic in his face at the mere suggestion of not showering. I just feel like the understanding should go both ways and to suggest booking a hotel seemed an extreme idea! He will shower in the morning but I've said blow drying downstairs only.

I’d suggest telling him that if he blow dries his hair at 4.30 you will be returning the favour before swanning off for a weekend away yourself. He may see it a bit differently if he had to deal with the baby himself

The blow drying is important. He likes to feel 'bone dry' all over.

And you like to feel 'Not dragged out of bed unnecessarily" all over. I know which is more reasonable.

He's presumably getting into a car or taxi to get to the airport? The heater will do the job for him if so.

If he won't give up on blowdrying, cut the plug off the dryer.

@Ohyesiam dh does more than I do, but he's courteous not to do it upstairs anymore so he doesn't wake the baby (or me assuming I'm not awake) and that's at 6.30 not 4.30 and he's heading off for a day at work. If he's of on a 4 day jolly with his mates he can shower the night before.

I'm the first to say I hate leaving the house without a shower but early morning airport runs are always an exception. As are days skiing. And the helmet will ruin his beautiful blow dried hair too.

Does he have time to spare after checking in at the airport? If so he needs to look into showering there.

From the title I was expecting a Napoleon and Josephine thread: "Home in 3 days. Don't bathe."

I like to wait until the very last minute to shower and wash my hair before a flight, but not if it disturbs a baby! As it's short haul, he certainly can shower the night before and then again when he gets where he's going - isn't he going to want to drop his bag(s) at the hotel before hitting the slopes anyway? Also, how long is his hair? He can towel dry and then air dry on the way to the airport.

Yes I was thinking he could shower at the airport

DP has thick glorious locks past his shoulders, it would be horrible for him to leave the house without blow drying it. But then he would wash it the night before as to not to disturb. Bit weird some of the PPs are so focused on a MAN blow drying

He sounds quite inflexible and not very worries about how his actions will disturb others.

My mouth is hanging open at his fuckwittery.

He is leaving you with three young children to go off for a jolly and he thinks it’s reasonable to shower and blow dry his hair at 4:30 in the fucking morning???? And is refusing to shower the night before?

I’m honestly aghast. It’s such dickish behaviour!

(I’ve also literally never ever known a man who blow dries his hair.)

To be clear he has short hair, I'm not talking Samson-esque locks. It's more a feeling of being totally clean he needs. And more a feeling of being rested I need!

he’s being VERY unreasonable

I don't know, I travel for work often and can't imagine setting off for a day of travel already feeling gross.

Even when I've been picked up at 4/5am I've showered and dried my hair etc. As quietly as I can, downstairs, but still.

Wait, what? You do mean he’s blow drying his head hair, right? It sounded in one of your recent updates like he was blow drying his body?

Either way, gussying himself up for a day on airplanes and slopes is vain as hell, and unreasonable. And that’s if he lived alone.

I’d send him to the hotel, reminding him it’s his vanity deciding it. I’d also warn him that being stuck in his routine/habits to this extent is a very old man thing. Very unattractive. The only people I know who have this fear reaction to small changes are 80+

Wasn’t there a poor poster on here a few years ago whose husband insisted on drying himself all over with a hairdryer after showers because when he was little his dad had dried him that way? Is it you again, OP?

Or are there two of these weirdos in the world?

He is leaving you with three young children to go off for a jolly and he thinks it’s reasonable to shower and blow dry his hair at 4:30 in the fucking morning???? And is refusing to shower the night before?

^I'm also in the YADNBU camp.

He should feel pleased and grateful to be going at all. It's not every day someone stays home with a baby and 2 others for a ski trip. He is welcome to feel bone dry before he gets the baby settled

As he's going to be sweaty and need a shower after skiing, what's the point in having a shower a few hours prior to going? Presumably he's wearing a Helmut on the slopes and will want to redo his hair anyway. That's an awful lot of showering and hair titavation in a 12 hour period for a grown man. Tell him to get a hat.

Audacity you are going to work, whereas he is going skiing so I assume he will get sweaty doing that. He is going off on a jolly, the least he can do is be considerate of his wife.