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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
Mlou32 · 02/03/2020 21:11

And to be honest, with that second dose (when they apparently have the memory to go and get him) they just need to hand him the bottle to put in his bag as agreed.

It depends. Are the bags locked out of the way of any other children? Children do stuff they're not meant to do. Imagine a kid had stuck their hand in his bag and taken and consumed said medicine? Surely as a nurse you would know thsat medication isn't to be left unnattended in an area with vulnerable people who could easily find and potentially take said medicine?

I would agree with others I'm afraid. I do get that it is frustrating for you but the school office really don't have time to be hunting down numerous children at the end of the school day. Perhaps what may come in useful is a phone call from yourself to the school office 5/10 mins before the end of school bell to remind them to either themselves get the medication to him or for them to arrange someone else to get it to him? And maybe have a word with the CM to check. The more people that get politely reminded the better.

In regards to the short notice food thing. Yes, it's annoying but people are human, they make mistakes and forget things. It would be a wonderful world if none of us were ever forgetful and never made a little mistake. I'd just be glad that the teacher was thoughtful enough to let you know at all; I remember kids being left out when I was at school because they weren't able to consume the foods provided for whatever reason.

JudyCoolibar · 02/03/2020 21:14

You do seem to be forgetting that he isn’t the only pupil at the school

Oh, come off it. Schools have systems in place to deal with special cases, e.g. children with specified conditions that need adaptations - if they don't they'd be massively in breach of their safeguarding duties. All they had to do here, having agreed to take responsibility, is to fit the arrangement into those systems.

MorganKitten · 02/03/2020 21:22

@TheNoiseHurts I'm a nurse, can I advise you that you should never expect any child to remember their doses.

Erm I’ve been asthmatic since I was 7, I knew when to take my medication. As did my diabetic best friend.

MitziK · 02/03/2020 21:28

So, when the staff are dealing with two children that have just run into one another and bashed heads, soothing tears, administering ice packs, filling out the accident book, calling parents, another feels sick, another says their head hurts, another's blood levels have plummeted and they've been stuck with the one who has just announced that their big brother has just come back from a school trip to Italy and is at home sick whilst the one whose head hurt has started crying at them because they want to go home instead of going to the after school club they've been booked into - they will have no trouble doing all that and simultaneously leaving all those children, going down corridors filled with children searching for coats, being asked questions, the phone is going where people have missed the bus to get there on time, there's a queue ten deep at reception of people wanting to pay cash for ten separate things without any change, somebody wants the ParentPay password reset, somebody else says their child says that they didn't get a playtime today, where's my son's coat? It's stolen. It's the fifth thing that he's abandoned somewhere in the school somebody has stolen from his peg this term - and say to OPChild 'here's your medicine. Put it in your bag. OK, I'll help you look for your bag. Where did you leave your bag? Well, if it was just there, it would still be there now, wouldn't it? No, don't wander off, I don't know what your bag looks like. Don't put your medicine down there.

Yeah, it's no problem leaving your post to look after the 'only' child in the school that has antibiotics to take.

notchickenagain · 02/03/2020 21:32

Why are antibiotics 4 times a day now? What happened to 3 times? That way schools wouldn't have to get the blame all the time. One before school, one after school and one at bedtime. If it's 4 times a day then school should administer one dose in the middle of the day. You say he has a second dose. Also is the CM not giving him any? They don't seem to be spread out very evenly. The less you give the school to do, the more successful your experience will be.

cansu · 02/03/2020 21:34
  1. The antibiotics need to be collected by the childminder.
  2. The food tasting is annoying but as he has multiple allergies, it would be safer for you to provide the foods than the teacher. I get that it's annoying to be given such short notice but I suppose that's better than him not having the chance to take part.
DrMadelineMaxwell · 02/03/2020 21:36

I've watched a child be handed a bottle of medicine to bring down our (winding) path by a parent who did not walk with them or watch them. As soon as the child was round the bend they opened the lid and were helping themselves. I had to leg it out of the building to get it from them. On phoning the parent, they had already had their morning dose and weren't allowed another til the afternoon!

DrMadelineMaxwell · 02/03/2020 21:37

That was the day we reinforced to all parents that all medicines needed handing in to reception and collecting by the adults.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 21:37

Why are antibiotics 4 times a day now? What happened to 3 times?

I don't even know where to start with this. I'm currently patting the back of a baby with an ear infection. AB's 3 times a day.

It's a different drug. Different job to do. Different patient, age and weight range.

There isn't one AB to treat all ills.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 02/03/2020 21:37

@notchickenagain

The first line of anitbiotics (usually amoxcillian) are 3 times a day and quite easy to fit in with school

If those fail or its particularly serious you get a stronger 4 day dose

Apple23 · 02/03/2020 21:38

After this thread I have at the very least got the great idea of splitting medicine

Make sure that if you do, you give the school the original container with the pharmacy label on it, otherwise they will (if they are following DfE Guidelines) not be able to administer it.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 21:39

I I get that it's annoying to be given such short notice but I suppose that's better than him not having the chance to take part.

You do realise it's the short notice that will cause him to not be able to take part, don't you?

OP posts:
saraclara · 02/03/2020 21:41

I was a teacher. Once or twice I forgot to give medicine back at the end of the day. I was horrified, but the parents were chill.

You can't imagine how busy the end of a school day is. Rushing to get everything finished in time, a class full of kids all gathering up stuff, me trying to remember various things that different kids needed to take home, a last minute crisis, kids asking me questions, or my head full of the staff meeting to follow and a zillion other things.
It's SO easy to forget one of those things when they're not usually part of the routine.

It's not a hanging offence OP. We're human.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 21:41

Anyway I'm not getting any further in this thread.

Thanks for the input all round, even the ones I've disagreed with have made me realise I'm not being unreasonable and obviously extra thanks to those who really pointed out that I wasn't unreasonable when I didn't even see it myself.

I'm so tired I can't even explain.

Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 21:47

DS, although a lot older was the same. Phenoxymethylpenicillin 4 times a day, an hour before eating, together with Naproxen to be taken with or after food and Co codamol to be taken as required. Seems like a really bad strain of tonsillitis being going about.

Organising and managing multiple timed doses is hard enough for a young adult to manage never mind an 8 year old.

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 21:48

Have a good evening OP. Working and dealing with kids even when they aren't ill and people don't make mistakes is bad enough. Take care.

notchickenagain · 02/03/2020 21:49

Quartz - 👍

CottonHeadedNinyMuggins · 02/03/2020 21:49

When you get it back can you leave only the amount of tablets that the school will need to witness/administer over the course and keep the rest at home so he doesn't miss any and they don't have to collect/come find him/etc etc.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 21:49

That's what DS was on, the same one. Orangey-pink.

14 month old DS was on the same one a few weeks before.

Did your DS spike uncontrollable temperatures with his?? We couldn't get either of their tempts down, spiked at 41 at worst despite calpol and neurofen.

OP posts:
CottonHeadedNinyMuggins · 02/03/2020 21:51

Just got to the end and realised someone else has posted the same thing - sorry!

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 22:00

Ds is 18, 6 foot two and at uni, it was tablets he had. He tells me that he had a lot of fever, headaches, earache, couldn't swallow at all, even water was agony and when his mouth filled with slavers he was crying trying to swallow them.

When he arrived home, I could smell the infection from him before he even got in the car. Dr thought he might have a quinsy.

Your poor little DS if he's had similar. Glad he's feeling so much better. DS was feeling brand new within 24 hours.

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 22:04

He said paracetamol was of no use whatseover and only brufen helped. He was ill from Thursday, arrived home on the Tuesday and DH drove him back to Uni on the Sunday.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 22:05

Oh your poor son!! I was worried baby DS was going to get Quincy, it got that bad.

We caught DSs in time yet it still got so bad that the GP told us to take him to hospital.

It really is a rubbish round of tonsillitis.

I really am going to bed now, baby DS is coughing and waking constantly as well as a bloody ear infection.

Bring on summer!

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 22:17

Hope you all get better soon.

BramwellBrown · 02/03/2020 22:45

Medicine - YABU, the child minder should have collected it/reminded DS to, I know she has multiple children to look after but less than the teacher and medicine has to be kept in the office, so school giving it to DS either involves busy office staff walking to him or a teacher or TA going to get it.

Food YANBU, Yes there are about a trillion children but when you plan food tasting you look at your allergies list and you either cater for everyone or you give loads of notice.