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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
DownstairsMixUp · 02/03/2020 17:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:52

Today 17:49 ittakes2

I also suspect you have asked the head who said it

I forget how very very specific you have to be on MN.
The office were unsure, so we, as a collective group, asked the head. The head then pootled down to somewhere to ask someone and came back to us all as said that was fine, she went back into her office while the office staff and I carried on as before with the plan and the medicine.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:53

Our school would only hand medicine to a responsible adult not a child.

Then we don't have the same school.

OP posts:
BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 02/03/2020 17:53

Yanbu about the last minute food thing.
But you should have told the childminder to make sure the medicine had been handed back.

LouLouLoo · 02/03/2020 17:54

I don’t think any school would agree to give medication to a child. Think of the potential consequences, they’d be in a whole heap of trouble of child took said medicine when they weren’t supposed to!

Igotthemheavyboobs · 02/03/2020 17:54

Tbh the food thing would piss me off loads. That's a lot of work to randomly chuck at a parent at half 5 the night before!

Yanbu to be annoyed, they could have sent a letter ages ago!

Sirzy · 02/03/2020 17:55

So your saying the school promised that a staff member would hunt your Ds down at the end of the school day? Because of course every school has loads of free staff to do that! Confused

S

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 02/03/2020 17:57

Schools will hand over medication usually, they will not administer it.
My school's policy is that if child has to have medication, they are responsible for it. We will keep it in the fridge if it needs to be, but beyond that, nothing.
Imagine if a school office had about 50 kids coming in and out for their pills every day!

Gazelda · 02/03/2020 17:58

I think that you are being unreasonable about the medicine. Your CM should have taken responsibility for checking he had it, and going to the office to retrieve it if not.

But the food tasting thing is very unfair on your DS. What a horrible way to make him feel 'different' and his needs 'awkward'. Any chance you could pass a shop on the way to school tomorrow? I think you are right to feel pissed off about this.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 02/03/2020 17:58

As far as I know, administering medicine is a total no-no. We can't even offer a plaster.

bloodywhitecat · 02/03/2020 17:59

The food tasting thing, YANBU. The medication, YABU I wouldn't want to hand medication to an 8 year old, I'd want to give it to his adult.

SquashedOrange · 02/03/2020 18:01

With the best will in the world, the school office staff just aren't going to remember to send his medication back down to the classroom. They WILL forget. The person who said they would (Head?) isn't the one who needs to remember and shouldn't have said it. Also why isn't the CM checking he has it before taking him home? It's your job to ask her to check.

The allergy situation would definitely piss me off. I would email to complain.

LefttoherownDevizes · 02/03/2020 18:02

I'd be annoyed but it's not right to be. CM should have checked about meds.

And as parent of a child with multiple allergies (many fruits/vegetables/beans and nuts) I am impressed they have you a day's notice. We normally got told after the event that they were doing something with allergens so DS went and did worksheets in a younger years class Hmm At least you have a chance to allow him to participate (but agreed doesn't give you much time)

I have actually found comms much better at secondary school funnily enough

Quartz2208 · 02/03/2020 18:05

Schools should be able to give out 4 doses a day just not 3

I would expect though the CM to have to collect sorry. When I had it I had separate bottles for a 10 day course

And of course he can be at school - normally fine after the first 2-3 days

RingPiece · 02/03/2020 18:05

The food tasting - YANBU
The medication - why didn't the CM go to the office and collect it when they realised noone had come to give it to them?
I've worked in many schools and not one allowed children to carry their own medication, not even inhalers. They were all kept in the office or in the first aid room, only accessed by an adult. Occasionally, they'd be a box in the classroom but temp medicine like antibiotics were only ever kept in the office.

Honestly though, what if five or six or more children have antibiotics? How on earth could you expect the very busy office staff to hunt down all the parents/ carers at hometime to hand them back. That's ridiculous! Hometime is the busiest time in a school office!

cookiemonster5 · 02/03/2020 18:05

My kids have always collected their medication at the end of the day.

At 8 he is old enough to remember to get it.

The child minder should be checking though so you need to have discussions with both of them regarding their responsibilities.

TheMagiciansMewTwo · 02/03/2020 18:05

Obviously OP's school is fine with administering medicine. As is our's. We have a school nurse.

OP your point about tomorrow's activity is valid. They should have given you more notice. As for the confusion with the medicine, yy it's frustrating but I guess take it as a learning point and get the childminder to take responsibility in the future because just as you know your DC will forget; you now know the school will too.

Largeyellowdaffodil · 02/03/2020 18:06

Then our kids don't go to the same school

What does the medicine policy say?

If it is England then I would be very surprised if it says that it can be handed to a primary age child. assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/803956/supporting-pupils-at-school-with-medical-conditions.pdf

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/03/2020 18:07

I think it is the childminder who should have collected it.

AllPointsNorth · 02/03/2020 18:08

As a primary school teacher, I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all, and I’d expect an 8 year old’s class teacher to be the responsible adult here and make sure he had his meds at the end of the day to take home. Likewise, you should have had at least a week’s notice of the food tasting.
The school need to up their game and prioritise more efficiently.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:09

the school office staff just aren't going to remember to send his medication back down to the classroom

So they are capable of sending for him when it comes to him needing the meds. But when it comes to them handing it back to him, they have an attack of amnesia?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:10

THANK YOU @AllPointsNorth!! 😭😭😭😭

OP posts:
pelirocco123 · 02/03/2020 18:10

He should have gone to the office to collect it ..common sense really
Tablets or liquid ?

Sirzy · 02/03/2020 18:12

You should be greatful they remind him to go for it.

You do seem to be forgetting that he isn’t the only pupil at the school.

Ds has a special feed every day at school. It is the responsibility of me or whoever takes and picks up to make sure it is there and comes home. It’s not up to school to remember to pass it to him from the office where it is stored every day

OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 18:12

I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day.

I would have assumed this meant he would need to go to the office where they would give it back to him. I think YABU to expect them to hunt him down at the end of the day, unless they specifically said they would go to his classroom/whatever and give it to him.

The food tasting thing is a bit short notice, but I would think it's a reasonable oversight on the part of the teacher.

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