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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
Pentium85 · 02/03/2020 19:29

Look, clearly there was simply an error in communication.

You thought they would bring the medicine to your child, they thought he would collect it.

It’s a bit crap and has caused an issue, but no real harm has been done.

If your child still needs the meds, or does in the future, clarify clearly and exactly with the office what is to happen.

As for the food, that’s crap notice.

Are these things really going to be bothering you this time next year? No, so take a deep breath and enjoy your wine.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:29

Emoji the fact that I didn't think of that makes my head hurt.

Thanks for next time though!! Good tip.

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 02/03/2020 19:30

It's a miscommunication which is bloody annoying when you've made a point of trying to get clarity but you know now that in future you need to get the CM to collect the medication from the office. It would have helped if they had made that clear two days ago so that you could have done it but they didn't and I'm sure that's very frustrating.
Having the school phone about the ingredients most have been the straw that broke the camels back. In the long run neither of these things are a big deal but sometimes its the small things that really get to us when we've had a difficult few weeks as you have.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:31

So what happened on the other days OP? They forgot twice but on other days did they go and give it back to him?

Yes they gave it back.

And thank you for asking, that's a good point.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 02/03/2020 19:33

Well, now you’ve established you’re not being unreasonable are you going to go in and give them a good telling off? What are you hoping for here?

OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 19:35

And it doesnt state that an adult must collect or drop off.
Therefore it is in my favour.

From what you said in your op, they are not saying an adult should have collected it, but rather he should that have come to the office where they would then hand it back to him. So the fact the policy doesn't mention an adult collecting or dropping off is irrelevant.

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:36

Yes they gave it back.

So, the interpretation that they would give it to him is therefore correct and they stuffed up. Once would be bit annoying but twice is really poor.

He's had most of the doses at the right time OP so he will undoubtedly be absolutely fine, but they really need to be clearer on their actual process (as apposed to the one that they have written down).

As I say, it's really not rocket science. Just needs someone to check the fridge at an appointed time each day and do whatever they said they would with the medicine left there.

Emmelina · 02/03/2020 19:36

Did he go to the office and ask for his antibiotics back, or were you expecting a member of office staff to track him down at the end of the day and put it in his bag for him, amongst all the other end-of-day stuff they have to handle?

There are 400 children in my school. We can’t talk to parents at the beginning of the day, they all flock to us at the end. The office gets a queue of parents from about 2:45 to log appointments, take in holiday request forms, change parents contact details etc, arrange appointments with teaching and support staff. Teachers and TAs are busy getting all the kids ready to leave, then talking to parents about anything going on.

A little responsibility needs to be extended to the adult taking him off the premises and away from his medication, I’m afraid. If he left without a coat, you/childminder would be turning him around and sending him back through the doors to fetch it.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:36

Hell yeah!! I'm gonna storm in tomorrow morning and shout and scream! Except im not, am I? After this thread I have at the very least got the great idea of splitting medicine, and the last 10 days has taught me not to trust the school. And not go on their word.

OP posts:
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 02/03/2020 19:36

It took me some years to work it out!

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:39

I'd just wait until you are not quite so angry and give a bit of measured feedback that they might want to tighten up their medicine procedures and also that they need some sort of process for informing parents (in good time) who have DC with allergies about events that might need them to support.

Rosebel · 02/03/2020 19:42

So it shouldn't be in his bag for an hour because that goes against safeguarding. So it actually says do not give the medicine to an adult, I can't see that in what you have quoted.

TSSDNCOP · 02/03/2020 19:43

You could also reflect that after the first couple of doses got missed that it was clear the plan was flawed and thought about and discussed a better alternative eg ask you child minder to collect it.

CallmeAngelina · 02/03/2020 19:43

And here we have multiple examples of people, yet again, thinking that schools only revolve around their own children. There are 100s of kids to be considered throughout the school day, not just yours.
Of course YABU; it is a turn of phrase to say "we'll hand it back."
Make a fuss of this by all means, but don't be surprised if the school changes its policy about administering meds at all (apart from perhaps life-dependent ones).

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 02/03/2020 19:46

It sits in my favour and doesn't press that it should be given to an adult. The opposite in fact

But you've already said he won't remember when he needs to take it, so he can't be judged to be capable of self-management.

In reality, in primary schools, the only children carrying their own medicines will be older children having their inhalers in their bags and possibly diabetics having their necessary equipment with them.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:46

@ TSSDNCOP the first couple of doses didn't get missed. And they gave him the bottle back.

What are you talking about?

I never said the first couple of doses got missed.

OP posts:
Nomorepies · 02/03/2020 19:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

TSSDNCOP · 02/03/2020 19:49

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

I was responding to what you were talking about.

CallmeAngelina · 02/03/2020 19:49

All our children from Yr 3 up are expected to go to the office at the end of the day for any medicines. If they forget, their parent (or CM or whoever) will send them back in for it, as the first question they will ask is, "have you got your medicine?"
This is on you, I'm afraid, and your CM, although she would need to have been asked by you to check - especially after the first time it was missed.

bellie710 · 02/03/2020 19:51

This is ridiculous the OP has already said the school agreed to give the medicine and hand it back therefore they are in the wrong. All these people saying our school wont do that etc is fine but the school have already agreed this!

Our school will give medicine to children if required as long as you have spoken to the school, they also hand it back to the child at the end of the day.

VenusTiger · 02/03/2020 19:55

Childminder should have been collecting the meds from the office before picking up your DS @TheNoiseHurts that's what she's paid for is it not? Did he/she even notice there was no meds in his bag every evening for 10 days? Confused
Have you asked other parents if they were given this food tasting information so late? There may well have been a letter that your DS forgot to give you or it may be on the website/newsletter section?
Just give him some tinned fruit to take in.

Clymene · 02/03/2020 19:56

I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding of what 'hand it back' means. Unless they specifically said that they would take it to him, I think that means they will give it to him.

Incidentally, your OP idea that lots of people telling you you're unreasonable will calm you down doesn't seem to be working.

Thirtyrock39 · 02/03/2020 19:56

If you're splitting between three bottles you need the prescribed bottle to be the one you take in to school. Schools can only administer medication in a prescribed bottle with dates, child's name etc... that's standard meds management in schools policy.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:58

@TSSDNCOP yes that's right. He misses several doses because of this.
That was on Thursday last week, 3-4 days into the meds.

You said You could also reflect that after the first couple of doses got missed that it was clear the plan was flawed

They didn't miss the first couple of doses. I never said that. The plan wasn't flawed.
They managed it just right, as agreed. Until they didn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 20:01

Incidentally, your OP idea that lots of people telling you you're unreasonable will calm you down doesn't seem to be working.

RTFT! 😂😂😂😂
I established that all by myself. Twice! 😁😁😁

OP posts: