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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:04

How is this child having to be hunted down at the busiest time of day?

Can no-one go to the class 5 minutes earlier and hand the medicine to the child/supervise it being put in his backpack or even just handed to the teacher?

Presumably he is in his classroom and not roaming the Serengeti.

OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 19:05

The staff agreed to give it back to him

To him. My son. The child.

Yes. But you still haven't said whether they said they would find him/call him to the office or whether they said he could give it to them in the office in the morning and they would give it back to him at the end of the day. The latter suggests they expected him to come to the office and they would then give it back to him.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:06

Yes, they agreed to GIVE it back to him at the end of the day, not TAKE it back to him. Which means when he has been let out of class at the end of the day he needs to go to the office, so that he can be GIVEN it.

I love a capital letter.
SO WHY DIDNT THEY GIVE IT BACK TO HIM AT 2PM WHEN HE HAD HIS LAST DOSE?

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 19:07

SO WHY DIDNT THEY GIVE IT BACK TO HIM AT 2PM WHEN HE HAD HIS LAST DOSE?

Presumably because they didn't want a child having medicine in their possession during the school day.

WhatHappenedThen · 02/03/2020 19:09

I think YABU.... sorry. I think either your son or the childminder should get the medicine.

fedup21 · 02/03/2020 19:09

SO WHY DIDNT THEY GIVE IT BACK TO HIM AT 2PM WHEN HE HAD HIS LAST DOSE?

Because schools don’t want children having access to prescription medication for chunks of the day!!

Largeyellowdaffodil · 02/03/2020 19:11

Can no-one go to the class 5 minutes earlier and hand the medicine to the child/supervise it being put in his backpack or even just handed to the teacher?

There could be 50 children with medicine on a single day? Typically the medicine needs to be logged out for each child and signed for by an adult. (if the school has a proper age appropriate medicine policy in place)

OP- if it is England they will have a medicine policy on their website- what does it say?

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:12

Chunks of the school day?

An hour, you mean? 😂

OP posts:
OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 19:16

An hour, you mean

Given the school day is presumably only 6 hours long, an hour is approximately 17% of the day, so yeah, a chunk of the day.

You still haven't said whether they said they would go and find him or whether they just said they would give it back, after having said they would take it from him in the office.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:16

Well this is interesting

9.The child's role in managing their own medical needs

9.1If, after discussion with the parent/carer, it is agreed that the pupil is competent to manage their own medication and procedures, they will be encouraged to do so. This will be reflected in the individual healthcare plan.

9.2Wherever possible pupils will be allowed to carry their own medicines and relevant devices or should be able to access their medication for self-medication quickly and easily; these will be stored in the cupboard in main office to ensure that the safeguarding of other pupils is not compromised. XXXXXX CE Primary & Nursery also recognises that pupils who take their medicines themselves and/or manage procedures may require an appropriate level of supervision. If it is not appropriate for a pupil to self-manage, then relevant staff will help to administer medicines and manage procedures for them.

OP posts:
Pentium85 · 02/03/2020 19:17

Not really sure what you want from this OP.

Clearly you’re annoyed. Whether YABU or not doesn’t matter.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:18

There's more but it didn't seem to C&P on here.

Thank you to the person who suggested checking it's policies.

It sits in my favour and doesn't press that it should be given to an adult. The opposite in fact.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:19

What kind of massive schools do you have that there might be 50 kids on medication on any given day?

It's clearly not something that happens on a daily basis in OPs school or it wouldn't have taken a meeting with staff and headmistress to work out a plan.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:19

I think you're right @Pentium85.

I thought this would give me perspective but I still can't get over that I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Rosebel · 02/03/2020 19:21

A child can't leave medicines in their bag for an hour! What are you talking about? What if another child went in to his bag and samples it or removed it. It was pretty obvious they meant your child went to collect it at the end of the day. So yabvvu about that.
With the food yanbu they should really provide food he can eat. However depending how severe his allergies are perhaps they thought it was safer for you to provide food. After all you'd be the first to moan if he had a reaction and probably be on here saying why didn't they just ask me to provide his food.
You sound like hard work especially as you need everything explained in detail

OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 19:22

It sits in my favour and doesn't press that it should be given to an adult. The opposite in fact.

I don't think it really does sit in your favour. It talks about self-management and ease of access to the medication. That would suggest your ds should have gone to the office to collect it.

Managing procedures if the student isn't able to self-manage certainly doesn't suggest they would hunt down your ds and hand over the meds.

eaglejulesk · 02/03/2020 19:24

By 'give it to him' they meant 'he can come and collect it at the end of the day'. That doesn't mean go and find him in a sea of small children, smaller children, bigger children, buggies and adults.

That's how I would have taken the meaning also - "give it to him" meaning handing it over, rather than finding him to do so.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 19:25

I was referring to the child carrying medicines. Which other posters found abhorrent.

And it doesnt state that an adult must collect or drop off.
Therefore it is in my favour.

OP posts:
TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 02/03/2020 19:25

I used to split it between 3 bottles. One for home, one for cm and one for school. They then can be kept in the fridge.

Hth

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:26

again, why is a child in a school needing to be hunted down?

I would take that "they will give the medicine back" as them going to give it to him. If they wanted it collected I would expect them to say "he can collect it from the office at the end of the day"

Greenmarmalade · 02/03/2020 19:27

You’re not being unreasonable. You have good reasons to be annoyed and frustrated.

But... people have just made mistakes. I’m a teacher and have so many things to think about and organise (along with toddler not sleeping!) that I’ve also left things too late, just as your son’s teacher has regarding food items.

So don’t feel bad about being annoyed! Just know it’s not personal.

Yurona · 02/03/2020 19:27

Your school is useless!
My oldest is very frequently on antibiotics, in 3 years and no idea how many courses (at least 10, probably more, each at least 2 weeks), they’ve forgotten once to give them back. Once. And then the caretaker got them out for me to collect in the evening (just after 6pm).
The food thing should have been announced at least a week ago as well.

nobodyimportant · 02/03/2020 19:27

As far as I know, administering medicine is a total no-no. We can't even offer a plaster.

I've never heard anything more ridiculous! So if a child has a badly scraped knee and it's dripping with blood you have to call the parents or do you just leave it dripping? Surely you can administer first aid?

My school's policy is that if child has to have medication, they are responsible for it. We will keep it in the fridge if it needs to be, but beyond that, nothing.

Where I work we administer prescribed medication. Two members of staff sign to say it has been done correctly. I'm agog at a school handing medication over to small children to administer themselves! Or is that a secondary school? I hope it is.

Cookiecrumble887 · 02/03/2020 19:28

If they said they would give him his meds they should of made sure they did so! He's a child so therefore he needs adults to do these things for him.

Also schools do seem to expect so much from us as parents. 9/10 when DD in reception has homework it's actually for me to do.

There is enough going on isn't there!

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:28

So what happened on the other days OP? They forgot twice but on other days did they go and give it back to him?

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