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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:46

And to be honest, with that second dose (when they apparently have the memory to go and get him) they just need to hand him the bottle to put in his bag as agreed.

It's not that much of a missions surely?

OP posts:
Brazi103 · 02/03/2020 18:47

If you cant expect your 8yo to remember to ask for his doses then why did you even think it was ok for the medication to be handed back to him at the end of the day??

Common sense will tell you that medication should be kept out of reach of children in any case.

What was your arrangement regarding the meds with the childminder?

I dont see why this is the schools problem.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:48

Second dose being at 2pm, school finishing at 3.15

Now I think about it, I'm pissed off again that they couldn't manage that 👎🏻👎🏻

OP posts:
saraclara · 02/03/2020 18:48

Another who thinks 'give it back to him' means he was supposed to go to the office where they'd give it to him.

It's highly unlikely that office staff can remember, stop what they're doing and to go to the classroom to take it, when it only takes a few seconds (and no remembering on their part) to look up from their computer and hand it to the kid when he comes by.

But yep, I'm amazed that there's a school left that doesn't insist on an adult collecting it.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:49

@Brazi103 I'm a nurse, can I advise you that you should never expect any child to remember their doses.

OP posts:
WatchoutfortheROUS · 02/03/2020 18:50

Why didn't the CM check he had it and then collect if necessary? I think you're being unfair expecting the school to bring it to him at the end of the day, they have enough to do and I don't think that was ever a good plan. The school aren't responsible for his medication you are (and so the CM by proxy)

Springsnake · 02/03/2020 18:50

1.he should be at home

  1. Childminder should collect the medication,just like you would if you were collecting him.
3 .stop blaming the school
Cherryade8 · 02/03/2020 18:51

I think he should have remembered to go the office, which the childminder as backup to remind him if he forgets.

School office staff are rushed off their feet at drop off and collection. At the age of 8 he should be able to remember, try giving him more responsibility and he will probably step up.

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 18:51

I'm so glad I don't need to deal with this shit anymore. YANBU on all counts OP. Is it really beyond an office to have a system and wall chart that details which DC have medicine to take when and a last check 5 mins before the end of the day to check the fridge and hand the medicine into the required classes. No "hunting down" required. That's just ridiculous. They don't need to wait until the classes are dismissed.

They have a duty of care to the children.

The food thing is also a nightmare. I've had similar or last minute requests for specific outfits that we are supposed to conjour out of nowhere. Thinks like a piece of yellow ribbon (I have boys) or a tartan bowtie. Yep, get home at 6pm and you are supposed to magic that up before 8am the next morning.

Can you send him with some of his favourite treats as a replacement? It make up for the being left out bit. This is also something that should be easily managed. They could set a reminder for a week before any planned food based activity to remind any parents to help cater for those with allergies.

It's really not rocket science, just bad planning. In the end it takes no longer to do things right than it does to fuck it up.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/03/2020 18:51

Schools aren’t allowed to administer medication, op.

Scapegoatforlife · 02/03/2020 18:52

CAN PEOPLE READ THE GOD FORSAKEN POSTS AND UPDATES AND STOP RELATING TO THEIR SCHOOLS. THEYRE VERY OBVIOUSLY NOT THE SAME. sorry op but I can see you replying to lots of people in the same way and its infuriating when people dont read

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 02/03/2020 18:52

I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day.

Not helpful for you now, but I would have taken this to mean:

He goes to the office and hands it in first thing in the morning.
He goes to the office and they hand it back to him at the end of the day.

I wouldn't have expected the office staff to leave the office to go and find your ds in his classroom at the end of the day.

Did the childminder know about the medicine so they could ask your DS when he got out of school if he had it?

This what I would expect also.

I am also surprised the school agreed to have an 8 year old being given the medicine too. It is normally only to be given to an adult in the various schools I have been involved with.

I'm confused by this - why would an adult in school, i.e. a member of staff, need someone to administer medication to them?

Why are some people saying schools cannot administer medication? Evidently they can, and some do, but it needs to be prescribed and recorded when doses are given.

Sirzy · 02/03/2020 18:53

Your a nurse yet you think it’s acceptable to let an 8 year old walk around school with medication?

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:53

Schools aren't allowed to administer medicine.

Are you sure that's what you meant to say?

OP posts:
Stormyjupiter · 02/03/2020 18:54

About handing back meds, I think you are expecting too much. End of the day, office staff are busy dealing with lots of parents. etc. It would have been easier for you to ask CM to collect it.
About allergy and food tasting, it's not fair. It happened to my kid too. But they are also human, so sometimes they forget. At least they informed you day before. I had a child came home and told me they cooked stuff, but he couldn't join in because he was allergic to it. They never forgot it again.

NewName54321 · 02/03/2020 18:55

YABU over the medication. If school staff had given DS the bottle of medication and he had spilt it, lost it, drank it, given it to his friend or otherwise misused it, then you would have cause to complain. Most people would assume that "hand it back" means to the adult who comes to the Office to collect it. You should have arranged for the CM to get it.

YANBU over being asked to provide an alternative and about the short notice. The teacher should have planned their lesson to include foods that all children can safely consume.
YABU to expect the school newsletter to carry details of the teacher's planned lesson.
YABU to link the two things and to assume that because one person in school has made a mistake, that the school is also to blame for your mistakes.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:55

Walk round school with medicine?

If my son was walking round school out of the class room with his bag on his back then I'd have even more issues with the school.

I think it's absolutely fine for him to take medicine to his bag and hour before school as agreed by the office staff and head teacher to then go straight to his childminder.

Yes that's absolutely acceptable.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:57

For those who missed it on all those occasions

The staff agreed to give it back to him

To him. My son. The child. Not an adult. We were all part of the conversation. It involved us all agreeing it went to him. He is a child.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 18:58

And there is no reason for him to be absent from school. My Uni student DS had horrendous tonsillitis last month, he arrived home on the train from Uni in some state just in the clothes he was wearing. Walked out of a lecture and went straight for a train home, managed to get him an emergency appointment with the GP who gave him masses of painkillers and a 12 day course of antiBs. Throat was so bad that they said if he didn't feel any better within 24 hours and if he felt any worse, he was to go straight to A&E. Anyway, within 2 days he almost back to normal and was back at Uni within a few days. It would be ridiculous to stay off until the end of the course and not infectious either by that point. I'm sure OPs son was similar in terms of being well enough for school.

Bumpinthenight · 02/03/2020 18:59

In my school parents sign a form to allow us to give medicine to a child. So schools can give medicine if they choose to.

The food issue is really sloppy. Are other parents sending in food for the children to taste or is the teacher providing it. I have provided food in the past and have bought alternative food so the allergic child doesn't miss out. I would be tempted to hand over a receipt to the teacher to claim the costs back. Might make them think in future.

Sirzy · 02/03/2020 19:00

did the staff agree to hunt him down at the busiest time of the day though?

If you trust him to take it into the office himself and bring it out of school then why don’t you trust him to walk to the office to collect it?

I am amazed the school didn’t insist on an adult dropping off and picking it up but you are still being very unreasonable especially if you didn’t clarify things after the first time he didn’t bring it back.

lyralalala · 02/03/2020 19:01

Schools aren’t allowed to administer medication, op.

What absolute codswallop

Schools have to a have a policy and some will only administer medicines that absolutely have to be taken during school time, but to say they are "not allowed" is rubbish.

Beautiful3 · 02/03/2020 19:02

I would ask the cm to please collect it at the end of each day. Yes I agree that the request for suitable food for tomorrow was unreasonable. But you won't want him to miss out because of his allergies. So you'll probably dash to the shops later and grab whatever you can.

WaxOnFeckOff · 02/03/2020 19:02

And it's funny how lots of posters know better than the OP when she was the one at the meeting with the staff and Headmistress when the process for taking/returning the medicine was agreed.

They could have required it to be collected by OPs son/her/the childminder, they could have refused to have him in school, the could have insisted that someone bring in the medicine to school and dose OPs son at the required time of day. But they didn't.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 02/03/2020 19:02

Yes, they agreed to GIVE it back to him at the end of the day, not TAKE it back to him. Which means when he has been let out of class at the end of the day he needs to go to the office, so that he can be GIVEN it.