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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off with the school.

232 replies

TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 17:41

AIBU always say YABU!! When it comes to people being annoyed with schools.
I'm really cross so need to be told I'm being unreasonable so I stop being annoyed.

DS has a nasty throat infection, ended up in hospital and then 10 days or oral antibiotics 4 times a day.
I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day. He gets collected by a CM who has several other children so this worked.

They never handed it back to him. He missed several doses because of this.

They called me to say it's still at the office again today (it's 5pm by this point) they said they are busy (fair enough) and that he should be coming to get it.
That wasn't the discussion when I handed it in, they said they would give it to him.
It's the end of the course today so a bit late t tell me they changed their mind and expected him to collect - that never would have worked he never would have remembered (he's 8, I know some kids would be great at this but DS wouldn't).

He has multiple allergies.

His teacher just called at 17.28 to tell me they have a food tasting thing tomorrow and could I bring in a 'variety of foods' to match their ones so he's safe.

I'm doing dinner, getting the baby to bed, then tomorrow im up and out by 7.30, DH not home until tomorrow night so when do I do this?!

There was NO notice of this in any bloody news letter now way for me to prepare. And if I don't get this done he will feel excluded.

FFS.

Yes I'm being unreasonable they have a trillion kids and can't accommodate mine with his illness and allergies. I'm still angry though.

OP posts:
Largeyellowdaffodil · 02/03/2020 18:12

and I’d expect an 8 year old’s class teacher to be the responsible adult here

It is not the job of a class teacher to manage medicine. The DfE guidance is very clear that it is not part of their role.

There needs to be a central register ideally- having registers in each classroom increases the risk of maladministration.

Rumnraisin · 02/03/2020 18:12

Why are so many people on here blaming the childminder?? You don’t even know if the OP even mentioned it to her/him!

BiBiBirdie · 02/03/2020 18:14

YANBU
DS old primary use to pull strokes like that with food tasting days, knowing full well he has multiple allergies and in some cuisines they covered (like Indian and Chinese) there wasn't some magical alternative I could whip up with a few hours notice.
I moved him from the school in the end (not just down to that but they were useless at managing his illnesses and allergies and the final straw was a teacher making him stand up throughout assembly and then allowing kids in his class to be disabilist to him as she said his COPD related cough was "put on" and "to be disruptive and attention seeking").
I do know schools can't give a child meds though but in that case the school should've made you aware so you could sort it out with CM

Mimilamore · 02/03/2020 18:16

Bit of both here. I work in a school and we do encourage children to be responsible for remembering things themselves, however, at 8 I think this is probably a tall order. I think I would have mentioned to TA to remind him.
The ingredient issue.... again school gets so, so busy and sometimes things can be last minute, I feel your pain though and see it from both sides.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:17

He should have gone to the office to collect it.common sense really

8 year old boy and common sense don't mix.

Not for my boys! Best will in the world! I did remind him 45 times every morning, I did try!

OP posts:
CalamityJune · 02/03/2020 18:18

I also think that if the CM was picking him up, you should have asked her to check that the medicine had been collected, and send your son back in for it if not. It's not her fault if she didn't know to do that though.

The bringing food thing is unreasonable. I'm not looking forward to this sort of admin when DS starts school. They should have at the very least given you over the weekend, but even so it's added hassle and expense.

notusedbysomeonealready · 02/03/2020 18:19

YANBU, this was a communication issue that the school could have prevented.

All they needed to do was to be clearer in their communication "We will leave the medication in the office for the collecting adult".

It is unreasonable to expect the class teacher to remember to give the medication to a child, but if you're told as such will happen by those in authority, why would you think to do different?

I probably would have asked my childminder to double check that DS had the medicine before setting off, but the fact that you didn't doesn't change the fact that the school communicated poorly in the first place.

WRT the last minute "pick something up" advice, that is another example of poor communication that could be improved and should be highlighted to the school so they can work on preventing it happening again in the future.

shinyredbus · 02/03/2020 18:19

Yikes. Why are you being so testy with posters that are trying to help? Yabu. Sorry.

Food issue with you cooking and bringing something tomorrow - yanbu.

Grasspigeons · 02/03/2020 18:20

Its a pain in the bum. Particularly the 'provide a variety of foods with no notice"

SquashedOrange · 02/03/2020 18:23

So they are capable of sending for him when it comes to him needing the meds. But when it comes to them handing it back to him, they have an attack of amnesia?

Can't you just be grateful that they've stopped what they are doing to give your child medicine and take the responsibility to pick it up yourself?

I'm sure it is annoying that he doesn't have it, but why isn't the person collecting him checking?

Robuns · 02/03/2020 18:25

I would say that the childminder could have easily checked if he had it and picked it up, but not unreasonable about the food.

Thirtyrock39 · 02/03/2020 18:25

A lot of schools will administer antibiotics if needed to be given x 4 per day (so a trained staff member would be giving a side around lunchtime) but I think the issue is a school shouldn't be handing over the medication to the child to take home - it should be collected by an adult

Aragog · 02/03/2020 18:26

I spoke to the head who said it he can hand it into the office and they will hand it back at the end of the day.

Not helpful for you now, but I would have taken this to mean:

He goes to the office and hands it in first thing in the morning.
He goes to the office and they hand it back to him at the end of the day.

I wouldn't have expected the office staff to leave the office to go and find your ds in his classroom at the end of the day.

Did the childminder know about the medicine so they could ask your DS when he got out of school if he had it?

I am also surprised the school agreed to have an 8 year old being given the medicine too. It is normally only to be given to an adult in the various schools I have been involved with.

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:28

Then they never should have agreed to give it back to him. They should have said no. There's wasn't a communication issue. They just didn't do what they agreed.

That's my beef.

I'm calm now though, thank you wine! 😁😁😁

OP posts:
YappityYapYap · 02/03/2020 18:29

Is it a bottle of medicine or tablets? If tablets, you could cut the strip to send him in with just the right dose so there's no collecting but I'm assuming it will be a bottle of liquid medicine since he's only 8

5zeds · 02/03/2020 18:29

It’s all very annoying and unfair. I would bring you the food if I lived nearby. I’m sorry it’s so crap. Brew

YappityYapYap · 02/03/2020 18:31

And regarding the food, some allergies doesn't mean he can't eat anything so you must provide all food! If they're doing a food tasting, can they not make some food that he can eat and keep it away from the rest? They generally put food on different plates and have different boards in all kitchens now to accommodate people with allergies

Jellybeansincognito · 02/03/2020 18:32

They’ve made mistakes op but you’re the parent and your sons health is your priority.

The first time a mishap happened would be the last for me.
Especially when it comes to antibiotics.

OchonAgusOchonO · 02/03/2020 18:32

Then they never should have agreed to give it back to him.

Did they specifically say they would find him/call him to come to the office or did they say they would give it back at the end of the day? If it was the former, then absolutely, you are right. They are unreasonable.

However, if the latter, then particularly as they had said he could drop it to the office in the morning, the most reasonable interpretation would be that they would give it back to him when he came to the office to collect it at the end of the day.

KLS02 · 02/03/2020 18:38

yanbu, it sounds very annoying

ChoporNot · 02/03/2020 18:38

I would think about decanting what you need at home into a different bottle/vessel and just leaving the rest with school (probably too late for this now).

The food thing is shite - have you got a fellow school parent you could beg/borrow/plea for help with getting some supplies? Grandma? Neighbours teenager? Anything you can cobble together from the fridge/cupboards?

If you were near me I'd pop out for you. Got to take children to scouts so going out anyway. Are you North Herts area?

Largeyellowdaffodil · 02/03/2020 18:42

Is it a bottle of medicine or tablets? If tablets, you could cut the strip to send him in with just the right dose so there's no collecting but I'm assuming it will be a bottle of liquid medicine since he's only 8

A school can only accept medicine in the original packet with the original dispensing label attached.

schools should only accept prescribed medicines if these are in-date, labelled, provided in the original container as dispensed by a pharmacist and include instructions for administration, dosage and storage

Original poster
TheNoiseHurts · 02/03/2020 18:43

With regards to the food allergy stuff I'm just going to have to leave the house 40 mins early to go to Tesco to get the stuff then come back and drop it off at the childminders to drop off at school.

This means leaving the house at 06.50 which isn't really fair on anyone, I have a 14 month old as well. It's something I would have very much have planned NOT to do if I had been given more notice.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 02/03/2020 18:45

Then they never should have agreed to give it back to him. They should have said no. There's wasn't a communication issue. They just didn't do what they agreed.

That's the point really. Either they agree - and do it, or they don't agree and you can make alternative arrangements e.g. keep him home. I wouldn't trust them again.

And I agree, that was shit notice.

viques · 02/03/2020 18:46

I think it depends what the food tasting is for. If it is about tasting new foods then the school is being unreasonable in the timescale and should moreover realise that a child with multiple allergies couldn't be expected to do that activity anyway , even with food brought from home.

If as I suspect they are being asked to taste different foods to try to describe texture, taste, sweetness, sourness etc then it doesn't matter what the food is , as long as it is safe for your son to taste. I am willing to bet they have been studying that lovely poem called Mango by Grace Sorry Forgtten her surname!

Re the antibiotic, I understand that the HT agreed that your son should collect the medicine, but I think they should rethink this policy. Only needs one kid to leave the stuff on their book bag while they have a final kick around for the medicine to be lost, stolen, trodden on or sampled.