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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much do you charge your partner rent?

161 replies

Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 10:33

My partner has just moved in and I’m wondering what I should be charging for board.

I only probably spend £300 on household bills plus with him and my nephew living here about that on food.

My nephew pays £200 but he’s also extremely helpful around the house and spends the weekend doing the garden. He’s only here until he gets back on his feet and it will be sad to see him go. I’m happy with this arrangement.

I’m not sure how much I should charge my partner. I’m not sure if I should only charge him 1/3 of the bills/food, or if I should charge a bit extra to cover any unexpected costs I.e. broken boiler, or if I should charge him what 1/3 of the mortgage would cost as there’s very few men in their early thirties only paying a couple of hundred quid to live.

OP posts:

caulkheaded · 02/03/2020 10:37

How long have you been together and how do finances usually work with him ie who pays for dinner etc

Original poster

Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 10:39

@caulkhead

We’ve not gone out for dinner for months as I left my job to start my own business.

If we go to the pub we take turns most of the time.

If he plans date night he pays for it.

OP posts:

Murraygoldberg · 02/03/2020 10:41

I charge mine £400 a month that's all bills, food and toiletries. We both seem quite happy with that

ChrissieKeller61 · 02/03/2020 10:43

50/50
It’s a beautiful house he couldn’t afford own his own or even with a partner his own age so he’s in a great spot purely because of my age if that makes sense.

Make sure you draw up a tenancy agreement too and get it witnessed

Igotthemheavyboobs · 02/03/2020 10:46

If I was to move a new dp in now, I would only go 50/50 or if there was a massive difference in earnings, do a fair % split.

Friendsofmine · 02/03/2020 10:47

50/50 unless one of you earns a lot more I'd say.

Bloodless · 02/03/2020 10:49

I’d say 50/50

GetMeOffThisCycleOfMisery · 02/03/2020 10:52

I 'charge' my DP £400 per month.

My mortgage and bills are about £1400. But I earn £21k more than DP.

Pukkatea · 02/03/2020 10:56

50/50 of costs (minus nephew contribution) if he earns more than you.

Reduce it proportionally if he doesn't.

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/03/2020 10:57

I asked for half of bills and living expenses which worked out at £300 per month. I didn’t want “rent” or any contribution towards my mortgage - the mortgage is mine alone, he isn’t gaining any stake in the property, and he doesn’t have any real form of security: if he were a tenant he’d have a lawful tenancy and all the rights which come with that. Living with me he has none of that and I wanted to reflect that financially.

burnoutbabe · 02/03/2020 10:58

nothing for rent. Its my house (i own), i don't want him having a claim if we split. He also doesn't pay for any repairs/redecorating. we'd share a new sofa cost or new tv. but not a new bathroom

then 50.50 on the bills and food and joint going out (joint card so it all goes on there and we split at month end)

Elouera · 02/03/2020 10:59

You said he has just moved in, but what did you discuss BEFORE he moved in? Was there any mention of paying board from either of you? What does he think?

user1493413286 · 02/03/2020 11:01

Contribution towards the mortgage, probably a third as your nephew lives there and as your nephew lives there a third of the bills. Unexpected costs like the boiler are on you but should be fine seeing as you could put money away from what he pays towards your mortgage

roarfeckingroar · 02/03/2020 11:03

Mine actually pays me the market rate my lodger was paying to have my spare room, which includes bills. He's incredibly generous though and we will look at it again when I've had a couple of months to prepare my finances for a more equitable set up.

Soontobe60 · 02/03/2020 11:04

I would say he shouldn’t be supporting your nephew at all. So if your monthly bills come to £600 and your nephew pays £200, your DP should pay the same. If you’re treating him like a tennant then you shouldn’t be expecting him to kay anything towards the maintenance of your house.

Dontdisturbmenow · 02/03/2020 11:04

You should really gave discussed before he moved in.

You cant have a tenancy with a partner. They are not a tenant as living with you, nor a lodger.

There is no right or wrong it all comes down to which side you look it from. You could say he is saving on the rent he would otherwise pay, so fair to pay towards the mortgage. He could say that you would have to pay the full mortgage anyway and he gains nothing from it.

I personally think that charging when you end up making a profit is pretty low. I don't believe in profiting financially from people you love.

Batqueen · 02/03/2020 11:11

Most important principle to me is always that both of you should be gaining financially not losing out by him moving in. I wouldn’t feel right about charging a partner rent but as you are covering housing costs he could cover more than a third of the other bills.

In my case, I have a flat that I rent out and live in my partners house. He pays the mortgage, I pay him the full cost of gas, electric, water and internet and council tax, (Works out about half the cost of mortgage). We have a joint account for shopping and small house costs, he pays for major repairs and works. It works for us as both of our housing costs have reduced, I don’t feel like I’m renting from him but am contributing a fair amount.

KaptenKrusty · 02/03/2020 11:19

50/50

Crystal87 · 02/03/2020 11:22

Mine pays the rent himself as he's the one who works and also gives me £400. We have children together though so mine is a slightly different situation. Most of the bills are in my name so it works for us that I have the larger amount in my bank account, though we use my account similar to a joint account.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 02/03/2020 11:27

You charge board for a child, not the person your shagging...

Your partner is an adult. They pay there share of the bills 50/50 (I.e food shop, council tax, water rates etc)

However no way would I be paying for a mortgage I wasn’t named on!

When I first moved in the DH many years ago. We got a joint account and all bills just came out of there. That house was DH, I didn’t pay towards the mortgage as I wasn’t named on it. I was not paying for a house I didn’t own- he wasn’t my landlord (we later got a place that we jointly owned)

NomDeDieu · 02/03/2020 11:31

I wouldn’t ‘charge’ him but I certainly would share the costs.

So I would add the cost of living (heating, food, water, internet etc etc), take away the £200 from your nephew and divide that in half.

Jess827 · 02/03/2020 11:32

You charge your children "board" not your partner...

I'd ask him because the answer is revealing. There is no correct answer, only what you are both happy with. Because it's all so dependant on context... E.g. how long you've been together, any plans to marry, how much you earn each, state of repair of the house, how much he's saving Vs living alone...

There is no right answer that you're going to get here.

Personally DH and I have only ever had 1 pot of cash - everything goes into it, everything comes out. Full blending & transparency.

But that setup only works if you also have a similar attitude to spending & similar life goals / values.

Greenkit · 02/03/2020 11:32

We both pay £750 into an account which covers all bills and food.

Plus we use it if we go out together

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 11:32

I would not move in a partner without thorough discussions about finances and division of labour first and possibly written agreement to make sure he never had a claim on my house.

Greenkit · 02/03/2020 11:34

However no way would I be paying for a mortgage I wasn’t named on!

Surely you would have to have paid rent somewhere, so same difference?

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