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Original poster

How much do you charge your partner rent?

161 replies

Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 10:33

My partner has just moved in and I’m wondering what I should be charging for board.

I only probably spend £300 on household bills plus with him and my nephew living here about that on food.

My nephew pays £200 but he’s also extremely helpful around the house and spends the weekend doing the garden. He’s only here until he gets back on his feet and it will be sad to see him go. I’m happy with this arrangement.

I’m not sure how much I should charge my partner. I’m not sure if I should only charge him 1/3 of the bills/food, or if I should charge a bit extra to cover any unexpected costs I.e. broken boiler, or if I should charge him what 1/3 of the mortgage would cost as there’s very few men in their early thirties only paying a couple of hundred quid to live.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 02/03/2020 17:53

He moved in a month ago and it’s been radio silence with money. I asked this week if he’s alright to pay £300 and he’s replied if he can pay £200 (he knows that’s what the nephew pays).

I would be asking him to move out.

RaveOnThisCrazyFeeling · 02/03/2020 17:54

The issue of what expenses you have is a red herring.

He should pay whatever the average monthly rent is, for a person in a two-person houseshare in a similar property in your area (or a 3 person houseshare if your nephew is going to stay). There should be a tenancy agreement with you as landlord, which is drafted and signed and then put away. It's just so you have the nature of the financial relationship on record.

If you want, you might put his monthly rent into a savings account which, if he proves himself not to be a cocklodger and you end up together long-term with joint finances, can benefit you both. If the relationship doesn't last and he moves out, you'll have your savings from his period of tenancy and won't feel you've been a mug.

Moanranger · 02/03/2020 18:00

My partner pays half of bills. Then he pays a small additional amount that goes towards the mortgage, as if he did not, I could not afford to live here. We have a written agreement that entitles him to a portion of the equity in the house which is commensurate with how much he pays towards mortgage. The mortgage will be paid off in 2 years, at that point, we will split all bills down the middle. The house is in my name. I pay repairs, but he also pays 50% of the cost of insuring house & contents.
There is no single right way of doing this, but some form of equal sharing should be agreed.

RaveOnThisCrazyFeeling · 02/03/2020 18:01

You're the one who had the misfortune of losing your parents and the good fortune to inherit from them.

Your financial and housing security doesn't automatically transfer to him, any more than your grief does.

WaterIsWide · 02/03/2020 18:05

He should be paying 50/50 regardless of your nephew! He earns £3K a month and wants to pay £200...that's a fucking joke!

Yep. The fact that he was only prepared to pay the same housekeeping money (because it's not rent, is it ? Not really) as your nephew is a huge red flag to me.

He expects to pay his share of the household bills for the same £200 that your nephew pays. Even though you are doing your nephew a favour.

Sounds like your nephew is more honest, generous and practical then your boyfriend, tbh.

I bet your boyfriend won't lift a finger to help when he moves in. Your nephew will probably get fed up with him too.

Your boyfriend wants the life at your house that he got whilst living with his parents and doesn't see why he should stump up real money just to live with you.

Sorry, I think the wheels are going to fall off your relationship with your boyfriend over money.

As has already been advised, DO NOT tell your boyfriend that the house is mortgage free.

Dontdisturbmenow · 02/03/2020 18:05

There should be a tenancy agreement with you as landlord, which is drafted and signed and then put away
That would be legally meaningless. You cant have an ast type of contract when you are living in the same property than the tenant. He also can't be a lodger as partner can't be consider as such.

If it was the other way round, and OP would be asked to sign such contract from her new make partner, most poster would tell her to move as he was clearly not commited to her.

I think for all involved, he'd be better moving out and having his own place.

TowandaForever · 02/03/2020 18:13

How much is your council tax that your bills are so low?!

AhNowTed · 02/03/2020 18:15

Your added costs are totally irrelevant.

Moving another adult into your home should mean that you also benefit from the arrangement.

Not just him.

And I can't believe he is haggling to live for the grand sum of £200 a month.

£6.45 a day?!

Tell him to fuck off!!

Fucking user.

RB68 · 02/03/2020 18:15

I am afraid I say going rates - so 1k plus half the bills, a portion of that shld go to your sister. BUT I would then split nephews money or put it towards something for both of you - holiday or something

AhNowTed · 02/03/2020 18:16

USER!

Bananalanacake · 02/03/2020 18:20

How long have you been together. I don't see the point in living with a partner at all, unless you have DC but I am probably in the minority.

adaline · 02/03/2020 18:23

My partner pays half of bills. Then he pays a small additional amount that goes towards the mortgage, as if he did not, I could not afford to live here.

What will you do if you split up?

EL8888 · 02/03/2020 18:29

I moved my then boyfriend now fiancé into a property l owned and we went 50/50 on all bills, food, mortgage etc. We are now going to buy a house and go 50/50 on its deposit, fees etc. Why should he be subsidised?

I am afraid there is a strong vibe of cocklodger to all of this. It’s telling he hasn’t talked money or actually given you any yet. Him trying to get a reduction to £200?! That’s laughable especially when you say how much he earns. How old is he?

Friendsofmine · 02/03/2020 18:35

Those of you cohabiting and going 50/50, is that even when one of you earns double and is therefore left with a lot more disposable income?

Dontdisturbmenow · 02/03/2020 18:40

Similarly, why should he supported OP with starting her business.

This is the problem with this situation because whatever decision, one benefits on the backing the other.

Why call each other partners and committed to the relationship when decisions become a commercial one ?

That's why this should have been discussed long before agreeing to the move.

Ellisandra · 02/03/2020 18:44

Search facility is an interesting thing.

You’ve already leant him money when he lost his job and hasn’t bothered saving anything. Not sure why he needed to borrow money from you if he still lives with mummy and daddy. Did he ever pay that money back to you? (Let he guess: no)

Mid Jan you posted asking whether people with different financial outlooks could have a good relationship. So I’m guessing given the timing, you let him move in even with those misgivings?

You already know what you’ve let yourself in for.

SunshineCake · 02/03/2020 18:45

There is not a chance he will happily cough up that much on page one having paid you nothing for a month then tried to pay 1/3 less than you asked for Hmm. This is not a decent man

SunshineCake · 02/03/2020 18:46

The OP has probably already told him she's mortgage free. She seems naive Sad.

2toe · 02/03/2020 18:49

Something to consider is you are basing any contribution on your currents bills, an extra adult in my house raised our gas and electric by £50 a month, groceries including cleaning products etc went up by £200 a month, his proposed contribution won’t even cover the extra cost of him being there.

madcatladyforever · 02/03/2020 18:51

At least half of everything or he will take you totally for granted and think it's ok to short change you. And you will eventually resent him.

Ponoka7 · 02/03/2020 18:56

You know you're being a total idiot. Why are you so desperate to live with him?

He'll be paying less than my 22 year old DD on min wage.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/03/2020 18:57

No, I'm charging nephew that as he's still getting in his feet and because his mom owns a share of the house. You're meant to be my partner.

AhNowTed · 02/03/2020 18:57

@Ellisandra

"Search facility is an interesting thing.

You’ve already leant him money when he lost his job and hasn’t bothered saving anything. Not sure why he needed to borrow money from you if he still lives with mummy and daddy. Did he ever pay that money back to you? (Let he guess: no)

Mid Jan you posted asking whether people with different financial outlooks could have a good relationship. So I’m guessing given the timing, you let him move in even with those misgivings?

You already know what you’ve let yourself in for."

Yep 🙄

AhNowTed · 02/03/2020 19:00

£200 a month?? Who the hell, apart from a pet, expects to live on that!

My own son pays more.

These threads give me the rage.

SW16 · 02/03/2020 19:02

I would split all bills, mortgage, CT, water, insurance , energy, 3 ways.