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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much do you charge your partner rent?

161 replies

Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 10:33

My partner has just moved in and I’m wondering what I should be charging for board.

I only probably spend £300 on household bills plus with him and my nephew living here about that on food.

My nephew pays £200 but he’s also extremely helpful around the house and spends the weekend doing the garden. He’s only here until he gets back on his feet and it will be sad to see him go. I’m happy with this arrangement.

I’m not sure how much I should charge my partner. I’m not sure if I should only charge him 1/3 of the bills/food, or if I should charge a bit extra to cover any unexpected costs I.e. broken boiler, or if I should charge him what 1/3 of the mortgage would cost as there’s very few men in their early thirties only paying a couple of hundred quid to live.

OP posts:
notalwaysalondoner · 02/03/2020 11:49

This is tricky - on the one hand, it seems fair enough not to pay towards a mortgage you aren’t named on, but then on the other, is it fair you pay no rent and only your share of bills? For example, if I had a massive mortgage of £1500pm (or whatever) and bills of £400, and my partner was paying rent of £500pm and bills of £200, is it really fair that in one swoop he goes down to only paying half of the bills which will be just over £200? So just because he has a partner he saves £500 per month, whereas the homeowner only saves £200? Maybe the way to do it is to ensure you both save the same amount when he moves in compared to before? Obviously he pays half of food.

CoralFish · 02/03/2020 11:54

Are you asking him for money for food? That assumes he is never going to do the shopping... Surely a joint account or some sort of other shared pot would be most useful for food and household expenditure.

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 12:00

Surely you would have to have paid rent somewhere, so same difference?

No, because when you pay rent you are a tenant. You have a tenancy agreement. Certain rights are conferred to tenants.

ShirleyPhallus · 02/03/2020 12:01

However no way would I be paying for a mortgage I wasn’t named on!

You’ve never rented before?

KaptenKrusty · 02/03/2020 12:35

If he rented he'd bloody be paying off a mortgage he is not named on?? wtf?

Original poster
Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 12:40

Thank you for all the comments/view points.

I think I wrote at the top of my post that I’m mortgage free (I inherited the house from my parents). It’s a nice house worth probably about £450,000 (could be easily 1/2 mill with some tic) as it’s a stone throw from an expensive city.

If we were renting this place we’d be paying £2000 a month but it’s a big place and we wouldn’t be renting somewhere as big.

As I said on a previous post I’ve out of regular work right now for various reasons and I’m trying to get a business to take off. I just want it to be fair, he gets £3,000 in his back pocket each month and spends every penny of it on car payments/nice holidays/designer clothes and there’s me Scouting out feb market place for a lawn mower.

Just things for the house add up quickly, during the winter the boiler went therefore I’m paying £££ a month paying that off, I need to buy a new lawn mower as a mouse chewed the cable, the fence blew down during the wind (luckily nephew is doing the labour) etc etc. If I don’t buy a lawn mower he wouldn’t be able to stand in the garden come summer.

He’s came straight from his parents who only asked for him to pay the internet bill a month.

OP posts:
BrimfulofSasha · 02/03/2020 12:40

Do you own or rent? you want to be very careful about him contributing to a mortgage as he could stake a claim on the property.

Original poster
Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 12:46

@brim

I own the majority of the property with my older half sister owning a minority of it.

She doesn’t charge me rent right now as I’m doing some diy on it. If I go to sell she’ll get her money then.

OP posts:
WickedlyPetite · 02/03/2020 12:47

So he's moved in without any discussion about finances and how it'll work?

What does he suggest he should pay each month?

There are very few people able to house themselves - including all bills and food - for £200 a month. He should absolutely also be contributing towards some of the upkeep and maintenance of the home and garden.

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 12:50

He’s came straight from his parents who only asked for him to pay the internet bill a month.

This is a HUGE red flag, so is netting £3k/month and having nothing to show for it and moving in with no serious discussions about finances and division of labour. It screams 'manchild'.

He'd be moving back out immediately. You're onto getting fleeced here.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 02/03/2020 12:52

I charged my ex the extra costs of him living with me (so, the excess council tax, gas, food etc)

It was/is my house and if he was paying "proper" rent then it would turn into him having a claim on it in future. My mortgage broker also told me there was no benefit to me adding him to the mortgage either.

We had a long discussion about each option and he said he'd go with whatever I wanted.

If things had carried on, I'd have formalised it in writing.

If you own your home then at least consider this.

Original poster
Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 12:53

@WickedlyPetite

We had a very British chat about money.

I asked him if he was alright paying something towards his keep and he said of course. He moved in a month ago and it’s been radio silence with money. I asked this week if he’s alright to pay £300 and he’s replied if he can pay £200 (he knows that’s what the nephew pays).

OP posts:
PepsiLola · 02/03/2020 12:55

I'd say no to that. Your nephew is family and you're helping him out to get on his feet!

WickedlyPetite · 02/03/2020 12:56

Wow, well you've yourself a cocklodger right there - and he's relying on your continuing to be 'British' about it and not kick up too much of a stink about money.

He's lived with you a month without contributing a penny and made you ask for it. I'm embarrassed for him.

That should tell you all you need to know.

Poptart4 · 02/03/2020 12:56

You made a big mistake letting him move in without discussing finances first.

Has he offered to pay his way?? If not this is a red flag.

He needs to be paying 50% of all bill's and food.

PepsiLola · 02/03/2020 12:56

I would think about house maintenance costs, wear and tear etc.

Even if he paid £500 he would still have £2.5k a year to "play with" and you could afford the odd expenses like a lawn mower

Grobagsforever · 02/03/2020 12:58

He wants to pay TWO HUNDRED ALL IN?? He must eat roughly that amount!! Wow. Cock lodger much.

Or is that 200 for rent with bills and food on top?

I own my house outright, partner has a mortgaged property. If he lived with me he'd be making around 1400 in rent from the property, so obviously I'd expect to benefit from that as I'd be housing him for free..

So I'd say half of all bills and food, plus say 400 'rent' so we both benefit fairly from the arrangement.

Alsohuman · 02/03/2020 12:58

However no way would I be paying for a mortgage I wasn’t named on!

You’d never rent a property then? That said, I’d ignore the mortgage so he doesn’t have any claim on your house, then split all the other bills 50/50. You won’t have to reorganise when your nephew moves out that way.

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 12:59

We had a very British chat about money.

You are too immature to be living together. Nothing 'British' about that.

I asked him if he was alright paying something towards his keep and he said of course. He moved in a month ago and it’s been radio silence with money. I asked this week if he’s alright to pay £300 and he’s replied if he can pay £200 (he knows that’s what the nephew pays).

You're asking this bloke like he's doing you a favour cocklodging at your house, that you don't fully own, and he's throwing you a few crumbs and you're leaping on them. He nets £3000k/month and you're letting him dictate to you what he pays to live in your house?

He's a total cocklodger and you're a complete and utter doormat. Bet he's doing loads round the house, too.

Grow up. He's ripping the piss out of you. You're letting him.

Alsohuman · 02/03/2020 13:02

Just read the updates. Kick the bugger out.

HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 13:06

Oh no, you have brought a cocklodger into the house! What the hell were you thinking of?

Get him out now. £200 a month for everything, when he brings home £3,000? He is taking a massive advantage of you. Get rid.

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 13:07

Bet his parents got sick of his loafing. I wouldn't even put up with that from my own kids if they were coining bloody £3k/month.

FabbyChix · 02/03/2020 13:08

£500

userxx · 02/03/2020 13:09

I asked this week if he’s alright to pay £300 and he’s replied if he can pay £200

No fucking way! Get him out of there sharpish, he's massively taking the piss. This will not end well.

ffswhatnext · 02/03/2020 13:10

He’s lived there for a month and you have had to raise this issue with him and now he’s haggling. 🤣

It doesn’t matter what your relative pays. Plus I imagine if he earned similar he would pay more. He either pays the amount you said or fucks off and finds somewhere else to live for £200 a month. And when the co-owner puts up the rent, the £300 will be increasing. Same with when relative leaves.

And if you stay with this freeloader, do have a chat before children etc are brought into it.

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