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Original poster

How much do you charge your partner rent?

161 replies

Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 10:33

My partner has just moved in and I’m wondering what I should be charging for board.

I only probably spend £300 on household bills plus with him and my nephew living here about that on food.

My nephew pays £200 but he’s also extremely helpful around the house and spends the weekend doing the garden. He’s only here until he gets back on his feet and it will be sad to see him go. I’m happy with this arrangement.

I’m not sure how much I should charge my partner. I’m not sure if I should only charge him 1/3 of the bills/food, or if I should charge a bit extra to cover any unexpected costs I.e. broken boiler, or if I should charge him what 1/3 of the mortgage would cost as there’s very few men in their early thirties only paying a couple of hundred quid to live.

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 02/03/2020 15:36

@Jess827 I agree with you that it’s less about the numbers and the other issues. That’s mainly him - but it’s also OP not having an adult conversation about this.

In my case, my husband might get accused of cocklodgery on here! Second marriage, he doesn’t pay a penny towards living in my house - in fact, he costs me money as my council tax and utilities are up. I wouldn’t want to profit from him, but I’m actually down in money. But... I earn a lot more. We have finances completely separate - 2 sets of children at different stages of life (think young with expensive hobbies, older with uni maintenance to help with) so it works for us. So although I have more disposable money than him, he’s still up a lot by living with me. (FWIW, my spends above his mostly go into pension, that will later benefit him too - I’m not eating in swanky restaurants whilst he gets KFC!) For everyone that calls him a cocklodger, someone else will call me financially abusing because I don’t share my salary with him completely.

The different between OP’s situation and mine though, is that despite being British Grin, husband and I sat down together before he moved in, listed all our financials and chatted about how it would work best.

ffswhatnext · 02/03/2020 15:40

Charging him £300 a month is £69.23 a week.
The ops wouldn’t be the one taking advantage.

If this is really reasonable to include bills, food, drink, hygiene products, laundry etc per person for a week. Can someone point me in the right direction? The room does need to have space and not a cupboard under the stairs. I’d be laughing all the way to the bank.

Ellisandra · 02/03/2020 15:41

@Alsohuman because you have to look at what he is paying now - not what a theoretical room in a £450K house would cost on the open market.

Until last month, he lived with his parents and paid for the Internet only. We can park our views on that for now Grin

So OP isn’t saving him any money with her house.

It’s a bit of a weird situation, but she’s proposing that his house outgoings go from £30 (at a guess) to £300.

He isn’t saving any money vs open market, because he’s not in the open market.

He’s still a dick though!

And I find OP’s £300 on bills hard to believe, for a £450K house near a desirable city. My council tax on a £200K semi would eat £150 of that!

Ellisandra · 02/03/2020 15:43

@ffswhatnext but OP reckons all of that costs £600 at the moment, £200 of which the nephew’s rent covers. So if it’s only costing her £400, why does she need more than £300 (£200 half share + £100 for his food)?

Of course, I think her calculations are pie in the sky!

Waveysnail · 02/03/2020 15:44

I'd say £100 per week.

Alsohuman · 02/03/2020 15:45

you have to look at what he is paying now - not what a theoretical room in a £450K house would cost on the open market

I know that. Yes, he could stay at his parents, of course but if he wanted to live in a £450k house, he wouldn’t get it for nothing, would he? Why should he get it for nothing just because he’s fucking its owner?

datasgingercatspot · 02/03/2020 15:48

Gawd, why bother playing the adult here and doing all the thinking of he spends this at his parents' and that here and blah blah blah, this guy expected to pay FA towards his living expenses with you, then haggled you down and dictated to you what he'll pay and you sat there and took it! You're being a mug and I really hope it doesn't come back and bite you in the arse legally. You don't fully own the house, either, so it's quite unfair at the least to have moved in your cocklodger gratis.

Ellisandra · 02/03/2020 16:02

@Alsohuman but why should his girlfriend get to make a profit from him?
Maybe the £450K house is a bit of a step down from mummy and daddy’s £1M mansion?! And this £450K house is just a house share with another bloke too! Remember the girlfriend isn’t even paying rent to the other minority owner because it needs work doing to it. I don’t think it’s a palace.

I absolutely agree with you that he shouldn’t pay nothing - which is what the sly little sod has done so far!

But I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on how much he should pay Smile I have my opinion, but it’s definitely an area where I can see there are other valid opinions.

Bottom line, OP didn’t bother to discuss it before he moved in, and it’s not surprising that the boyfriend didn’t think he’d be paying more than the other lodger, given he’s not actually getting any more in return.

If OP has explained that nephew is subsided due his mum not charging OP anything for her share of the house, boyfriend needs to put up and shut up.

But I’ll go back to my original comment, which is who wants a relationship with someone who doesn’t save a penny each month from £3K with no rent and bills to pay?!!! This is not going to be your only money related irritation, OP!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/03/2020 16:11

Be very careful, OP - the ownership of the house already sounds complicated, and the last thing you need is to import someone who's lived for free with mummy and daddy and is now haggling over even a small contribution

And be especially careful if he knows the place is mortgage free, just in case he hopes to get a claim on it in future

foodandwine89 · 02/03/2020 16:36

My boyfriend will be moving in with me, I have a massive mortgage, I wouldn't dream of asking him to pay rent. He has however offered to pay ALL the bills in recognition of the fact he is living rent free in central London..So he will be paying the whole council tax bill, internet and utilities. Your partner is quite cheeky in not even offering to pay. He should at least pay for half of everything house related.

Original poster
Anyonewannawoo · 02/03/2020 16:36

Oh gosh what a mess I’ve got myself into.

As I said up the thread I touched on telling him before he moved in he’d have to contribute but I didn’t get an exact figure.

As for bills, since starting my business I’ve became quite frugal. I know that my bills will go up but I’m not sure how much as I’m not on a smart meter. Originally my nephew wanted to give me £400 a month but I didn’t accept as I knew he’d only be here short term and is the perfect house guest - we grew up similar - if you’re cold you put on a jumper and more than helpful sorting out the house. He’ll also top up the fridge mid week and gets us a takeaway at the weekend. The amount of things he’s fixed up is amazing.

I’m sorting it out with my partner tonight, I’m going to create a very detailed spreadsheet with every bill down to Netflix and he can pay 1/3, then in a few months when my nephew moves out 1/2.

I’ll just remember this if I ever go to marry him they’ll be a prenup in place and I’ll only ever pay 1/2 down to the last penny. I’m also stopping doing the food shop and we can all take turns into doing it - his turn can be when we need laundry detergent.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 16:39

He needs to pay rent on top of that, though. There's wear and tear on the house and all the white goods. Please don't let him live there rent free.

It's completely different with your nephew - that's nothing to do with your boyfriend.

Alsohuman · 02/03/2020 16:43

What foodandwine is doing looks fair to me. He should be paying all the bills, minus nephew’s £200. Bet you wouldn’t see him for dust if you suggested that.

Dontdisturbmenow · 02/03/2020 16:57

He needs to pay rent on top of that, though
Making the person you call your partner pay you rent when you don't have a mortgage to pay is treating him like a customer who pays for a service. I find this incredibly disrepectful. Ultimately, it comes down to OP not having much money coming in because of starting her business. He should have choice as to whether he wants to support her financially when she doesn't bring much in.

OP, I would ask for half the costs of all your bills, and then say that whilst your nephew is also contributing, you put the difference in a pot that can then be used if you need to buy things like a new washing machine, lawnmower etc...

ffswhatnext · 02/03/2020 17:18

If you're in the UK a prenup is worthless.
Make sure you get water-tight legal and financial advice before even think about talking about marriage. And don't be rushed into doing it. I'm not saying everyone is out to get what they can, but you still have to protect yourself.

And good call about getting him doing shopping now. Hope he's cooking and cleaning if not, he either ups his lazy ass or bye bye from your house.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/03/2020 17:23

Oh gosh what a mess I’ve got myself into

Not at all - you're the main owner of the house so you get to say what happens, and just as you invited him to live there you can equally ask him to leave if you choose

Lippy1234 · 02/03/2020 17:24

£100 per week plus food.

HollowTalk · 02/03/2020 17:33

Making the person you call your partner pay you rent when you don't have a mortgage to pay is treating him like a customer who pays for a service. I find this incredibly disrepectful.

That's nonsense. There's an awful lot of wear and tear in a house, with carpets, soft furnishings, white goods, shower etc. Why should he pay nothing for the use of those things? He's come straight from living at home where he just paid for the internet - so what, £30 per month? - and now he's living rent-free again? He takes home £3,000 per month, for crying out loud. He has no stake in her home. She has no duty to house him for nothing.

MrsAJ27 · 02/03/2020 17:38

He should be paying 50/50 regardless of your nephew! He earns £3K a month and wants to pay £200...that's a fucking joke!

Alsohuman · 02/03/2020 17:41

She has no duty to house him for nothing

This x 1000

ChrissieKeller61 · 02/03/2020 17:44

Cocklodger alert !

I wish I could find someone who’d house me for £300 a month gee

Witchlight · 02/03/2020 17:46

Ok, I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong, but you can charge up to £625? Pcm to lodgers tax free. After that you have to declare it to the taxman.

You are charging your DN £200 + gardening.
If DP is paying £200, will he be providing services outside of those shared by a normal couple living together? If not, I think £400, to include a very basic level of food (not the cooking and serving of it and not steak and wine etc) would be reasonable.

£200 is insulting. He is an adult on a full salary, not a family member who is being helped

Witchlight · 02/03/2020 17:49

Also get him to sign a lodger agreement

rainbow1982 · 02/03/2020 17:49

He wants to give you £200 and he earns THREE GRAND?? I'm flabbergasted! Please kick him into touch and don't let him take the mick 🤞🤞🤞

Dontdisturbmenow · 02/03/2020 17:52

There's an awful lot of wear and tear in a house, with carpets, soft furnishings, white goods, shower etc
No, there isn't a lot of wear and tear with one adult working ft out of the house. As said, he can pay a bit more than 1/3rd of the bill to take this into account but £300 a month seems more than that.