How much do you charge your partner rent?

[Anyonewannawoo]

My partner has just moved in and I’m wondering what I should be charging for board.

I only probably spend £300 on household bills plus with him and my nephew living here about that on food.

My nephew pays £200 but he’s also extremely helpful around the house and spends the weekend doing the garden. He’s only here until he gets back on his feet and it will be sad to see him go. I’m happy with this arrangement.

I’m not sure how much I should charge my partner. I’m not sure if I should only charge him 1/3 of the bills/food, or if I should charge a bit extra to cover any unexpected costs I.e. broken boiler, or if I should charge him what 1/3 of the mortgage would cost as there’s very few men in their early thirties only paying a couple of hundred quid to live.

There’s nothing British about being foolish.
You should have agreed this before he moved in!

He should not be costing you money, by moving in.
However, if you want a proper income gig things like boiler fixing, then that’s why you get a lodger. He’s your boyfriend - it’s hardly in the spirit of a relationship to profit from him as you would a lodger.

I can see why he thinks the fair amount is what the nephew pays - why should he be paying more?

But only if the nephew is actually covering his costs.

If £200 is enough to cover your boyfriend’s added cost? More than enough I’d say, if food isn’t included in that.

You want him to subsidise you. That’s fine - in a certain maturity of relationship. Do you have that?

I think he’s got it very easy with his parents, but at the end of the day, it means it’s costing him money to move in with you. Why should he subsidise you? (you’d only be subsidising him vs market rent, which isn’t his situation). You need a lodger.

Honestly though, I’d just dump him because a man who has zero outgoing and doesn’t save a penny from £3000 isn’t someone I’m financially compatible with.

Actually come to think of it, I would add on an extra couple of hundred.

, for all he knows your nephew could have a private arrangement with your sister.

He does know that the house is share owned doesn’t he?

I would say £700 if you are paying for all the bills and food. He’s living there rent free. £200 is an insult.

You’d never rent a property then? That said, I’d ignore the mortgage so he doesn’t have any claim on your house, then split all the other bills 50/50. You won’t have to reorganise when your nephew moves out that way

I wouldn’t pay towards a partners house either, and yes, I currently rent. The difference is with renting I get a rental agreement and legal protection, whereas paying a partner “rent” gives you zero rights, OP could kick him out tomorrow, a landlord can’t.

@ffswhatnext that’s a good point. I didn’t clock that the nephew might be the son of the other part owner!

I'd be asking him to walk - what an insult ! You've probably spent more Than that on food

I would do 50/50 as your nephew will be moving out. Can you save the £200 a month your nephew is giving you? Deffo 50/50

Burnoutbabe makes an important point up thread. Take note.

To be blunt, you've been a bloody idiot letting him move in and THEN arranging what he'll pay.

This should have been discussed and arranged prior to him moving in and a monthly standing order set up from his to your account with the cash.

You're fucked now because he can just turn around and refuse to pay you any more than £200 a month (like he's already saying) and you only have two options - accept his ridiculously rude offer or tell him to leave.
I sadly have a feeling you'll roll over and agree to £200 a month and continue struggling to afford everything yourself, the house will fall in ot disrepair and he'll be still enjoying his £3k a month take home pay whilst giving you a paltry £200 towards council tax, gas, lectric, water, food, household repairs, furniture and everything else.

You need to get a backbone and stand up for yourself. He's just replaced the cushty deal he had at his parents with a new mum to look after him.

I don’t think you should be trying to make money out of him, you obviously made the decision to start your own business knowing what your outgoing we’re and what the costs of running the house is. You can’t expect him to then sweep in any pay for it for you.
Equally if he has the option of living rent free elsewhere, and you would prefer that he lives with you, then it’s not reasonable to assess what he would be paying on the open market...because he wouldn’t, he’d be living rent free with his family.
Likewise you should not be out of pocket because he has moved in, so you both need to sit down and work out what he actually costs you in food, heating, council tax etc, and he should cover those costs.
He shouldn’t be paying you rent for a house you own outright, if you want someone to do that you need to be getting a lodger.

Where's he moved from?

How much is he saving from his previous outgoings?

@Justgorgeous £700?!

OP has already said she only spends £300 on bills and about that again on food, and the nephew is paying £200.

What’s equally depressing as OP not sorting this out in advance and the boyfriend taking the piss not making sure to pay, is that OP seems to already be doing all the good shopping for the nephew, and seems to be planning to do the same for her boyfriend.

Woman takes care of the cooking.
Fine, if man is out snaring mammoths 🙄

@Scrumptiousbears OP already said - he lives with his parents and only pays the internet bill.

@Casualbride I totally agree with you. I think this is a tricky scenario, because my gut is telling me that he actually is a cocklodger.

The boyfriend is going to get a very good deal if he pays £300, which makes it seem low. And it really feels odd that he earns £3K but the OP has much less. But that’s not his fault, and she shouldn’t move him in as a cash cow.

They need to decide what kind of a relationship this is, from the point of:

• no-one profits off the other and all finances are separate, and if one person had more money then tough

To

• we’re a single financial unit, so he pays nothing but her income and his are pooled and then pay everything, right up to equal spending money

That’s sort of from dating to marriage.
Living together is a different level of commitment, for different couples.

Even with marriage, it’s more complicated than I described. Especially when you own a house outright.

I don’t like the sound of this man - but I don’t like the sound of OP profiting from him either.

He sounds financially risky & immature. Netting 3k a month and only had to pay an internet bill and nothing else to show for it.

You are subsidising him op. Can't you see that? Why should he be keen to change it if he gets to spend a huge portion of not paying his way for living costs while you look at second hand household maintenance gear?

Your (temporary, younger, family member) arrangements are none of his business.

Every time you can't afford something basic, it's going to be mainly because you're paying his way. What kind of partner does that?

I bet he'll think he's been generous too. And he'll frame your business setup success as h having supported you.

I can see this all in your future.

Kick the cheeky fucking twat out, he's clearly no good with cash and wants to leech if you've raised it and he's refusing to pay more.

And next time... Financial and housework chat comes before anyone moves in!!!!

@Jess827 I don’t like him any more than you do, but with outgoings at £600 and nephew paying £200 of that, if she charges boyfriend a penny more than £200 then he’s the one subsidising her,

How is he subsidising her when he’s living in a £ half million house rent free?

I don't think everyone here is talking about the same outgoings though... And no one is right or wrong. Does it include garden tooling? Home building insurance? Content insurance? Wear and tear on washing machine, carpets? Repairs to roof, whatever?

If you're with someone long term a realistic figure needs to be agreed that works both ways to protecting the homeowner with an asset Vs the non owner who otherwise would have tenants rights somewhere else if renting.

My big problem with the boyfriend here is nothing to do with exact numbers. It's about understanding the financial reality of living costs, which most people aren't until they moved out of parents... And wanting not to take the piss off your partner.

His high income ( it has to be what, over 60k? To get 3k net? Guess it depends how you calc because pensions, bonus and travel annual card and students loans affect net massively.. so who knows).. plus haggling and not wanting this clear and discussed until the op raised it... Those are the red flags. The actual pounds and pence are almost irrelevant.

When I met DH one of us was broke, no income,no assets, no job. The other not so. That's changed over the years but the 1 thing every relationship needs is fairness (judged by both people) roughly over the long term.

I don't see it here.

I also, fwiw, don't have a problem with op "profiting" from boyfriend because maybe that's her pot to spend on their annual holiday etc... Financially it can be complex, it's not for us to judge what works for others.

We lived in my mortgage free property before we got married (well, I paid off the mortgage within a few months). I didn’t charge rent as I wasn’t paying anything and it was an asset I could afford to share. We split all expenses including flat maintenance and that covered the wear and tear.
Seems like your partner should pay your sister something.

@Alsohuman well that’s a fair point that as the entitled little sod hasn’t paid a penny so far, he’s not subsidising her at all! But if he pays anything over the £200 that he proposes, he will be.

300 on household bills seems quite low.
Sounds like big house
Council tax water gas electric phone TV broadband 300 seems a bargain

This all just seems a bit weird. No way would I move in with somebody to their house (including when I moved in with now-spouse) without being aware of what I was expected to pay.

If I somehow moved in with someone without discussing it first, the first thing I'd do is ask what I'm expected to pay and do so gladly.

But if he pays anything over the £200 that he proposes, he will be

But he won’t be! How else could he live in a £500k house for nothing? The subsidy is entirely in the other direction.

And since the house is not entirely yours, should not your sister be consulted as to who is living there, especially because as a cocklodger, I wouldn't put it past him to try for a claim on it if he pays once you grow up and throw him out. If I were your sister I'd be hitting the roof that my sister moved in her spendthrift, cocklodging boyfriend into a house I part-owned without even so much as a bye-your-leave.

You sound seriously immature. He sounds even worse. Can't believe he nets that much and blows it all on shit. I wouldn't even date a guy like that, much less one who parks up at mine for free and then haggles for keep. Fuck that.

Of course he needs to pay the sister something.
The op at the moment is exempt because of the works.
Nephew family discount
Bf erm....

It seems you are guessing the bills. It’s amazing how quickly they mount up, never mind with another person moving in.

Make sure you are including - gas, electric, water, landline, council tax, insurances, internet, subscription services etc. Then add some on top to cover things like the heating breaking again, with a caveat that next time the bill will be split. He’s benefitting from the use. Same with large kitchen items.
Any extras he pays for fully. So sports add on, that’s on him.

Same with food and drink. Any extras he wants he pays. It’s one of the ways freeloaders get you. The little extras that end up costing you ££ every month.

Even 300 a month for everything he’s getting a bargain. Lots of areas he’s be lucky to get a room for that never mind food.

Also ensure he knows house finances will be reviewed regularly. And make sure you keep check of everything. You might find your food bills doubles at least.