Partner getting food

[Lafoosa]

Am I overreacting being upset that whenever my OH goes to make food in the kitchen he never asks if I want something, he just makes himself about 8 slices of toast, a sandwich and god knows what else and doesn't even bother to ask if I'm hungry or want a drink.
The other day he ate an entire pack of bagels in one go claiming they'd go off if he didn't, well we have a toddler to feed and I could have eaten one too. He didn't need to eat 5 to himself. Plus they could've been frozen.
I actually ask him if he wants something when I make food.
Tonight around the time we'd normally have dinner cooking he went into the kitchen and spent a good 45 minutes in there to then come out having just eaten almost a whole loaf of bread and making himself noodles. Did he make any food for everyone else? No.
He took so long I thought he was making dinner, but by the time he'd finished it was too late for me to cook a meal. Luckily I'd already fed our toddler, so she didn't go hungry.
I just think it's the polite thing to do if you're already making food, it's no harder to make one extra portion of it.
I feel like I'm not even an after thought 🙄

But what does he say when you confront him?

He sounds like a pig.

Have you spoke to him about this? If you have and he keeps doing it then just start making meals for you and your child. If you haven’t told him then he may not realise you are unhappy about it.
To those saying 5 bagels and half a loaf is too much, you haven’t met my husband! With his main meal he could go through half a loaf of bread and bread and butter. He is a big man but has just joined WW now as he has realised it’s not doing him any good!

He's either got guts of iron or they are beyond repair eating that lot. 5 bagels and full loaves of bread, I wouldn't shit for a month!!!

If it hasn't already, surely eating all that in between meals must mean his waistline is expanding.

He's not actually overweight surprisingly considering how much bread he eats.
I've spoken to him before about eating that much bread in one go. We get through two tubs of butter in a week because he eats so much bread. He didn't even add anything healthy to it either and he then wonders why he throws up so much.
And because he eats so much bread he can never be bothered to make our daughter anything but bread, so the times I've left her alone with him for a few hours have caused her to be a majorly fussy eater and only ever want toast and crackers.
I'm tempted to stop buying bread or anything bread like all together so he stops eating it all at once and learns to make some other kind of food.
I say to him several times a week too that I want us to eat our meals together at the table as a family, but it never happens and food always ends up all over the living room floor.

He throws up a lot?

Why does he throw up a lot? Could he possibly have bulimia?

and he then wonders why he throws up so much

Hmm. I think he needs to see his GP. This doesn't sound healthy at all. Is he drinking and weeing more than usual?

he then wonders why he throws up so much
It sounds like he has an eating disorder, it's not normal to throw up at all unless you are ill or have some sort of condition. How often is he sick? I would say an average person with no chronic conditions would be sick only a few times a year, at most.

I would actually stop buying bread. It's quite easy to go without bread - cereal for breakfast and pasta, salad, wraps or something for lunch. Although I expect he will stop eating bread and just eat entire boxes of cereal or something instead.

Eh, what now on the throwing up?

Pull him up on it op. His over eating is strange, sounds like a binge eater to me, he ll get fat. I would freeze all bread and bagels and only pull out what we re going to eat there and then. I'd tell him dont eat anything without checking with me first, follow him into the kitchen every single time. It's not fair of him to eat an entire loaf of bread, when other people live there too. Selfish and gluttonous behaviour.

This sounds really unhealthy. Certainly a disordered way of eating, if not a full blown eating disorder. Is he difficult to live with in other ways?

bagels are horrible imo urgh !

and he then wonders why he throws up so much.

Might have been useful to mention that in the OP.

Just read your update about the throwing up and food all over the floor?!! You know that's not normal, right? He need to see his doctor, he obviously has a problem with food. When I was little I was a compulsive eater, I'd get so full that I would vomit pretty much straight away. I was comfort eating.

the times I've left her alone with him for a few hours have caused her to be a majorly fussy eater and only ever want toast and crackers.
2 hours alone with her dad has caused her to ONLY ever want to eat toast? I’m sorry the hyperbole here is ridiculous.
I really don’t understand why you’re putting up with this selfish behaviour. If he wants to inhale loaf after loaf of bread, fine (although disgusting and pure greedy). But cooking at mealtimes and not even considering his CHILD? Nah that’s bloody disgusting. Does he bring anything to this relationship?

You are giving me flashbacks of my ex H. He could get through a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi max a day and easily polish off a loaf of bread.
He was a yo yo dieter though so weight went up and down with his habits.
Our shopping bill was extortionate and I remember seeing him slope off to the kitchen and thinking he never offers me anything, but then I would have said no anyway.
I’m glad to be rid actually.

The throwing up bothers me too OP. Bread shouldn't make someone throw up, I'd be worried about disordered eating as well, and in particular his teeth. Regular vomiting will destroy his teeth. Try to get him to a GP. And I second the notion to stop buying bread. Does he binge on anything else or is it just bread?

Hmmm eating that much and throwing up, I feel he may have an eating disorder, it doesn’t sound right at all

I also don’t understand why occasionally being left with her father has caused the daughter to be fussy, when she’s apparently fed normally the majority of the time.

Wtf?!

He’s throwing up all the time?

And he’s managed to make your daughter only want bread in the small amount of time that he’s in charge of feeding her?

Plus, how was it too late for you to make something to eat?!

These are all the things I’m confused about!

Other than that he sounds greedy and gross!

This does not sound normal.

By throwing up, do you mean he is sick or makes himself sick?

Does he eat anything other than bread? By the sounds of things he doesn't know how to cook. Could you and him cook together.

He really needs to seek medical help about his eating. Throwing up is alarming.

I say to him several times a week too that I want us to eat our meals together at the table as a family, but it never happens and food always ends up all over the living room floor

I don't get this. What does this mean? Doesn't he eat regular meals? And why would food end up all over the floor

food always ends up all over the living room floor does he throw food you prepare on the floor / he throws his food on the floor / he throws up on the floor ?
i don't get the bit about dd turning into a fussy eater after only being with dad for 2 hours either.

This makes no sense op.

Why if he was in the kitchen for forty five mins, with no cooking smells did you assume he was making dinner, and couldn’t even check if he was or not.

When you sat it was then too late for dinner, why did that forty five mins make such a big difference and what did you child have?

Why does food end up all over the floor.

Why is he bingeing and vomiting, and you don’t seem to think too much of it.

Why do you think your kid is fussy due to the occasional time he gives her bread or crackers.

It’s all Illogical unless there is something you’re not saying.

What are you cooking for yourself and your child?