Partner getting food

[Lafoosa]

Am I overreacting being upset that whenever my OH goes to make food in the kitchen he never asks if I want something, he just makes himself about 8 slices of toast, a sandwich and god knows what else and doesn't even bother to ask if I'm hungry or want a drink.
The other day he ate an entire pack of bagels in one go claiming they'd go off if he didn't, well we have a toddler to feed and I could have eaten one too. He didn't need to eat 5 to himself. Plus they could've been frozen.
I actually ask him if he wants something when I make food.
Tonight around the time we'd normally have dinner cooking he went into the kitchen and spent a good 45 minutes in there to then come out having just eaten almost a whole loaf of bread and making himself noodles. Did he make any food for everyone else? No.
He took so long I thought he was making dinner, but by the time he'd finished it was too late for me to cook a meal. Luckily I'd already fed our toddler, so she didn't go hungry.
I just think it's the polite thing to do if you're already making food, it's no harder to make one extra portion of it.
I feel like I'm not even an after thought 🙄

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

It sounds like he has an eating disorder! That was a spiteful over reaction.

Why is there food all over the floor? This is all very odd

The throwing up is odd, but going to the kitchen to make yourself some toast hardly means you have an eating disorder. I don't think 8 slices of toast is that many for a man either. I had about 5 slices of toast for lunch yesterday (hadn't had breakfast) and I'm a 5'3 woman. Scale that up to a tall man and 8 slices sounds OK to me.

I don't think 8 slices of toast is that many for a man either. I had about 5 slices of toast for lunch yesterday (hadn't had breakfast) and I'm a 5'3 woman. Scale that up to a tall man and 8 slices sounds OK to me.

Really? 8 slices is an immense amount of toast at once. I couldn't imagine eating 8 slices and I'm of average build at 6'1.

8 slices is a ridiculous amount. Tbh, so is 5.

I presume the food on the floor is crumbs from the constant bread snacking and not sitting at the table to a proper meal.

"Tbh, so is 5."

I've I'd had 2 for breakfast and 3 for lunch would that be OK? I don't have breakfast so 2 slices wouldn't be enough for me for lunch. I don't think I overeat particularly and I'm not overweight.

Eight slices of toast is half a loaf! It's a huge amount to eat as a snack.
Gwenhwyfar, you're eating it as your meal, not a snack between meals.

Sounds like he has an eating disorder, but also that he is a selfish twerp.

It really does sound like binge eating. I binge eat a lot when I'm depressed and bread is my go to because it's so easy and satisfying. Could easily eat 5 bagels and more when I'm bingeing.

That's just gluttony in extreme - a whole pack of bagels? 8 slices of bread?

Yes it's rude not to ask you but he's eating way too much food too and not balanced

I'm tempted to stop buying bread or anything bread like all together so he stops eating it all at once and learns to make some other kind of food.

Go for it!

He sounds unwell rather than greedy.

food always ends up all over the living room floor

Um. What!?

Have you actually asked him to make you some food or do you just seethe in silence?

He is eating a large amount of food, but also closed mouths don't get fed. If you want something ask.

"Gwenhwyfar, you're eating it as your meal, not a snack between meals."

I presumed this guy was too. He called it a snack, but he wasn't going to eat again afterwards was he?

Call him on it every single time. I'd also be tempted to stop cooking and making him drinks and to show him how many calories he's eating.
Is he overweight?

I think there are several issues here.

You should be eating meals together as a family.
Start this now
Plan you meals together for the week.
Make things the toddler will eat too and have a set meal time.

I'd also be tempted to stop cooking

It doesn't sound like she is cooking. She sat there in another room for 45 mins at dinnertime without going into the kitchen.
Something is very strange about this.

You are a grown up, you can make your own food.

Like bees to a honeypot... every time. It's a blue touchpaper thread, isn't it, this regular food and greed thing?

Bluntness has asked some good questions. The answers would be interesting.

I say he should eat what he likes but not what is for meals. Greedy piggie wig.
Crumbs! He cleans those up himself. How lazy.

... and the competitive (under)eaters are out in force too, I see.

"Oh I just couldn't eat five crumbs all at once...". Don't then.

It sounds so false and said for effect.

He sounds like he has an eating disorder.
Was he deprived of food as a child? Was he abused as a child? Has experienced trauma?
There are so many questions and not enough answers.
He sounds like he needs professional help. On the flip side also sounds like a selfish so and so but I feel it may be deeper than that sadly

Wtf did i just read. 😧