Partner getting food

[Lafoosa]

Am I overreacting being upset that whenever my OH goes to make food in the kitchen he never asks if I want something, he just makes himself about 8 slices of toast, a sandwich and god knows what else and doesn't even bother to ask if I'm hungry or want a drink.
The other day he ate an entire pack of bagels in one go claiming they'd go off if he didn't, well we have a toddler to feed and I could have eaten one too. He didn't need to eat 5 to himself. Plus they could've been frozen.
I actually ask him if he wants something when I make food.
Tonight around the time we'd normally have dinner cooking he went into the kitchen and spent a good 45 minutes in there to then come out having just eaten almost a whole loaf of bread and making himself noodles. Did he make any food for everyone else? No.
He took so long I thought he was making dinner, but by the time he'd finished it was too late for me to cook a meal. Luckily I'd already fed our toddler, so she didn't go hungry.
I just think it's the polite thing to do if you're already making food, it's no harder to make one extra portion of it.
I feel like I'm not even an after thought 🙄

Another here who has always been selfish with food and drink. Partially through having to fend for myself from a very early age and partly through greed. DH and I often make food independently. The only difference being he wouldn't want anything I make

I would say the volume of food he's eating - esp carbs and the impact on his health is actually a bigger issue than his selfishness. If you want supper then ask him what you should both have and sort it between you. Or get something yourself?

Stop buying bread and bagels. Hide the toddlers treats.

My kids have a horrible habit of going in the kitchen and helping themselves sneakily (to an entire multipack of crisps) just as I'm cooking sometimes so If I make a point of telling them that dinner will be ready shortly. That is a ridiculous amount of bread and selfish not to offer to make something. I think he needs it pointing out, maybe with a less than subtle " what about me? / Where's mine? You were in there long enough. " I would be really annoyed if the packed lunch ingredients all disappeared.

@FelicisNox

No on the ranitidine - omeprazole is good.

A bit of a shot in the dark but does he have any symptoms of coeliac disease? www.nhs.uk/conditions/coeliac-disease/symptoms/
Vomiting would be unusual as a symptom but if any of the other stuff looks familiar it’s worth getting tested. Could be that he’s not actually absorbing many nutrients from all bread he’s eating so he’s still hungry and not putting on weight from it.

This is the most bizarre thread ever. The communication between you & DP is absolutely non-existent, regardless of all the other obvious issues being mentioned in your replies. Did you mention anything to him at the time, such as, I dunno, WHERE THE F$CK IS MY DINNER?!

Home cooked dinners every night I have gone these days! It sounds like university halls of residents we are all fed up with who we live these days. I bought a lovely pudding not cheap as I know DH liked it I went to the fridge and it had gone the box was in the recycling bin 😄💙 in a way it was good as I will only moan if I have put in a pound! If it is a headache at home wait until it discussing where to go for treats out.. Macdonalds, KFC or bloody Subway!! £8.00 pp and not full up 😄😄 my Dh lives on yoghurts and energy bars, I cook him a chicken and pasta and omlette once a week, he buys Southern feuded chicken and thins. You will get fed up with the usual stuff when your toddler goes to school 😄😄 also at least you eat what you want but It is naughty he thinks he is singleton and probably forgets you are Both there 😄

If you did ask him what about me, he will probably reply I couldn’t wait any longer and you had not cooked me a meal.. 🙄 like a teenager 😄

He is a selfish,greedy man.

Tell him he is stuffing his face with processed food, which is Junk Food, and depriving 2 other people of the time they need to prepare theirs'

Tell him you can't genuinely love someone else who is going to get Ill and die early unnecessarily.

Tell him he needs to change his behaviour to cooking healthy meals for everyone, during the normal time he spends preparing his own crap anyway.

He is a bit thick, or depressed, trying to die early

"Tell him you can't genuinely love someone else who is going to get Ill and die early unnecessarily."
"trying to die early"

Bit over the top about some bread. I had beans on toast tonight - I hope I make it through the night!

Bit over the top about some bread. I had beans on toast tonight - I hope I make it through the night!

If you do I suggest you learn to read. "Some" bread is an entire loaf in under an hour.

Why would you not think he has an eating disorder? he shows all the signs.

• compulsively eating huge amounts of quick blood sugar carbs, unable to stop
• compulsively eating at the absolute wrong time or place, knowing it will piss people off, but compulsively doing it anyway, unable to stop
• vomiting 'a few times a month'. Wtf? No-one I know vomits 'a few times a month' who isn't bulimic (he's probably vomiting much more than that but that's the only times you see it)

Do find out about bulimia/eating disorders op - what you have written here suggests you don't know much about it.

Have a look at OA. It's for all and every eating disorder, not just overeaters (though people with eating disorders can swing from under- to over-eating). OA makes it clear that eating disorders are addictions. If he was necking a huge quantity of booze in the kitchen, would you be alarmed? Regularly packing away that much high-carb food in such a short time - on his own (also a sign of someone with an eating disorder, a tendency to want to be alone while 'using') - is the same addictive behaviour as if it were booze.

I think he could well be bulimic - the "few times a month" you think he's throwing up are the times he's caught at it, he'll be doing it a lot more frequently in secret. And bulimics come in all sizes, they're mostly not underweight.

Sounds like an Obsessive Over-Eater - he needs therapy and you need to put a damn big padlock on the kitchen door.

It wouldn't make any difference whether the kitchen was Fort Knox. Addicts find a way to get their fix.

I just read this out to my 6'6" brick shit house sized DH

His take on it...

"What a selfish greedy fucker" & I agree, no need to eat that amount i one go. Greedy, eat everything leaving nothing for the rest of you, selfish & greedy & that's before I even start on not offering you anything

Ah, well, he must be in the right as he's a man/your husband.

Pack up, women, the man has spoken.

daff

@BrokenMumTeenDD it's a pet hate on here when posters use their partner to back up what they're saying, like they can't speak for themselves :)

I think @BrokenMumTeenDD was meaning that her DH is massive, over a foot taller than OP's DP, and therefore requires a lot of food - if even he thinks that's a lot then OP's DP is being a very greedy fucker indeed.

Yes. I think the mention of size in this context should have made that obvious?

OP's DP is being a very greedy fucker indeed.

And/or someone with an eating disorder.

It doesn't sound like he's going to go to seek help though

""Some" bread is an entire loaf in under an hour."

It was 8 slices wasn't it, not a loaf. Just had 4 slices this evening so doesn't seem that excessive to me.