Oh love..oh darling..oh bless you...

[saraclara]

Where has this come from? Why are people starting responses to OPs with this sort of sugary stuff when they don't know the OP from Adam?

I get that they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel vomity.

(Also anyone responding to this OP that way just to wind me up... I am SO not your darling and I WILL hunt you down )

I'm not being unreasonable to hate it, am I?

I agree that it can sound false and meaningless, but it's preferable to the sheer nastiness of some posters on various threads, particularly when the poster is clearly struggling. Oh and the patronising grammar police, when some poor sod writes should of instead of should have.

I do work with a woman though, who regularly says 'awwwww, bless you' whenever anyone says anything remotely deserving of sympathy, like baby screaming all night/no sleep or massive argument with mother - it sounds so fake!

@LettertoHermoine of course. I've not said anything different.
It's possible to simultaneously groan at sentimentality, and be appalled at cruelty.

YABU

Be kind

I love it! Would prefer it if the majority of posters were that nice. A lot of the posters on here are so bitchy!

YABU in my opinion. A lot of people use this forum and others like it as their only means of looking for some comfort and reassurance. If the thread is asking a basic question such as 'can anyone recommend a pram brand' or whatever then yes, seeing 'ahh love' etc. might be a bit weird. But when the post is someone clearly in distress talking about something very personal and upsetting to them and reaching out to others for support, what exactly is wrong with using phrases like this to show compassion and caring?

My real hate is anything beginning :-"I'm sure..." when the respondent is obviously a stranger as well as strange.

Oh yes, and "He's definitely...(having an affair etc)" when the writer doesn't have a clue whether that's the case.

But I digress...

Pretty common way of speaking where I live so it doesn’t surprise me some posters write online like that too.
I can think of worse things that are often said!

YABU

Be kind

I am kind. Probably more than most. But I'm not saintly and there are some things I don't like. And I thought it'd be fun to vent about this one.

It happens in shops and restaurants all the bloody time?

‘You alright there my lovely? If you need anything for yourself just give myself a shout, okay hunny?’

Whatever happened to ‘How may I help you madam?’

I’m fifty, I don’t like being patronised by some 22 year old twit with ridiculous eyebrows speaking to me like I’m a bewildered dementia patient.

I am kind. Probably more than most

SNORT 😆

I don't mind them when people are responding on threads where posters are bereaved and clearly want to talk about it.
To me, people who use endearments in these situations are trying to be kind and empathetic and that's not always easy when writing .
It's the equivalent of touching someone IRL. I will never forget how a colleague touched me gently on my arm when i told him about my loss. It was sympathetic and comforting, and even though he wasn't really a friend I have always thought well of him since.

I can only remember seeing this sort of thing in Relationships where someone is being abused or their partner is having an affair. I haven't got a problem with it, tbh. Better to be nice than nasty.

@LettertoHermoine of course. I've not said anything different.
It's possible to simultaneously groan at sentimentality, and be appalled at cruelty

It wouldn't annoy me enough to start a thread about it and to have people questioning themselves if they have put kisses after a post to someone who was struggling or called someone Lovie......and there will be people who will cringe reading this because they have used "sentimental language" in the past and that's not right in my opinion. Their heart is in the right place when they are reaching a hand out to someone else and that should not be scoffed at or ridiculed.

I expect I do it. I do it in conversation too. Somewhere between a verbal tick, a regional thing and an expression of sympathy to someone in a rough spot.

My neighbour's pre-schooler used to say "look, I'm you, Arthritica -(puts on slight drawl) 'hi, honey, how are ya?' " I hadn't noticed that's how I always greeted him, but he was dead right.

Love yooooou!

@elephantoverthehill - you have pointy bits?

@Russellbrandshair see this is another example of people acting as if they know the person behind the screen.

You know absolutely nothing about me beyond what I post here. Nothing about my life whatsoever. So you have nothing to base your opinion of me outside this place. And I'm not an attack poster. And I do defend those who are attacked.

YABU for the ridiculous hyperbole in your OP if nothing else.

Rather ironic when trying to decry over the top falseness

@LettertoHermoine I fully agree with you.

@LettertoHermoine summed it up beautifully 👍

I agree with you, I find it really cringeworthy and fake. But it comes from a good place.

Other cringeworthy responses include: ‘you sound lovely OP/you sound horrid OP’

And ‘you’re doing a great job’ and ‘you got this!’ usually in response to a thread where the OP is upset that her child’s nursery have reported her to social services because she didn’t change their nappy between Friday night and Monday morning.

I like it!!

And ‘you’re doing a great job’ and ‘you got this!’ usually in response to a thread where the OP is upset that her child’s nursery have reported her to social services because she didn’t change their nappy between Friday night and Monday morning.

Oh God yes. Those are the worst. And there's absolutely no excuse for those posts.
Validation has its place. But that place isn't when the parent is clearly a candidate for social services intervention.

I have noticed a thing on threads and it really winds me up, but not to the extent that I am kept awake at night or would plan revenge or anything, but just it makes me and for a brief moment - and it’s when someone posts a response or suggestion to the OP (and usually demonstrates they definitely haven’t RTFT) and then ends with:

Good luck xx

'Bless,' is the one I hate. Especially directed at older people. The correct response, especially from 'cute' white-haired old ladies, is "Oh, fuck off!"

I don't like it at all.

I understand that it's a case of people trying to be nice but not everyone feels comfortable with a random calling them sweetheart etc, you don't know them so why presume you can be so overfamiliar? It's incredibly rude, I absolutely hate it.