Oh love..oh darling..oh bless you...

[saraclara]

Where has this come from? Why are people starting responses to OPs with this sort of sugary stuff when they don't know the OP from Adam?

I get that they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel vomity.

(Also anyone responding to this OP that way just to wind me up... I am SO not your darling and I WILL hunt you down )

I'm not being unreasonable to hate it, am I?

Also, may need to trial calling people 'confetti' and see how it floats

But OP you didn't distinguish what type of threads you were complaining about just the terms 'oh love' etc, and as a number of us have said these terms are quite often used when something particularly awful has happened to someone. I wouldn't normally use terms like that on here when responding to a post, but I did when posting on a very sad one the other day, and I won't apologise for that.

If someone from the southern united states says bless your heart, it means something quite different, I quite like their interpretation.

Bless your heart

1. This is a term used by the people of the southern United States particularly near the Gulf of Mexico to express to someone that they are an idiot without saying such harsh words.

1. "You are an idiot but I like you and care about you so I dont want to hurt your feelings."

Little Billy: I am 6 years old (only holds up 4 fingers) Scarlet: Oh honey, bless your heart, but that's only 4 fingers. Little Billy tries again: I am 6 years old (this time holds up the same 4 fingers and 4 more on the other hand) Scarlet: Child....Bless you and your momma's heart.

"Love" is a northern term for anyone, whether you know them or not.
No idea if I've used these or not on mumsnet, possibly if I was posting on a thread where I felt sorry for the OP.
Not going to apologise, or change, YABU.

Not going to apologise, or change, YABU

Me neither, in fact I'm going to do it more now!

I do occasionally use love if someone seems in pain and their story touches me, particularly if they're facing up to something they don't really want to. I don't think it's being false - yes, they're a stranger and they could even be trolling, I suppose - but at the time I respond I feel like they need a bit of softness and they have moved me.

This is just a classic MN thing to get annoyed about. People being too nice.

If it was ah bless ya I would think it was regional.Im from Yorkshire and we dont mean it in a sugary way here.Oh bless you is a different thing thing entirely though so yanbu.

I hope it all comes from a good place.
I had been a dinner lady for years n years. Every time I said "Oh good girl." or "Well done" or "That's amazing." or "Woohoo, you run like the wind Joshua!" In my head, it always, always sounded like I was praising my pet dog. I tried stressing different parts of the sentence. I tried different pitches of voice. But no. In my head it always came out as,
"Who's a good boy then, yes you are!"
Gah! Sometimes you just cannot translate the intention.

I just don't like it because the people saying it don't really feel like that, it's just meaningless words.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe
“Me duck” is a much used term of endearment around Derby.

If anyone dares to call me a 'star' I threaten to stab them with my pointy bits.

This made me laugh. You know that Mr Tumble song that goes, "You're a shining star, you are!"? My 2yo puts his hand on his hips and screams "No! I'm NOT a shining star" at the TV. I think you'd get on with him, OP

I hate it. I'm glad you've voiced this... the 'Oh OP.' brigade never fail to seem condescending to me.

I'm sure they don't mean to be but every time I read a post starting 'Oh...' I imagine the unsaid words being 'You really are silly aren't you? Come and talk to we more experienced and unfuckedup women and we'll make it all better for you.' If people are lamenting with the OP I'd much rather it be written some other way.

Why does it annoy you when people try to be nice

There's different ways of being nice. I guess we all have different boundaries regarding what we're comfortable with. Imagine you talked to a friend about a problem you were having, and they patted you on the head. Would you feel OK with that, because they were trying to be nice? Or if you were chatting with a total stranger and they came as if to hug you?

I always cringe when someone posts ‘you sound lovely OP’, when OP has posted absolutely nothing out of the ordinary that would even give rise to this thought. It’s bizarre.

Awww petal, pet lamb, hinny. Have a cup of tea and chill...

I am an old timer (but regular name changer). Never minded the odd bit of pleasantries or kindness, as it doesn't hurt anyone and can show empathy.

Wish the mean spiritedness would stop though. There really is no need, it achieves nothing.

YABU

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I'm an ex Derby girl, transplanted dahn sahf!
I love to hear 'me duck' and 'love' in real life. Because it's not sentimental in that context.
But on a forum it just doesn't come across as natural. More social-media-sentimental.

*I always cringe when someone posts ‘you sound lovely OP’, when OP has posted absolutely nothing out of the ordinary that would even give rise to this thought. It’s bizarre.

Ha, yes! Another one!

To be honest with you, I’d rather all the loves, bless you and darlings than bloody acronyms!
I keep having to look that shit up 😂

I changed hairdressers because of the patronising stuff she came out with. No, I’m not your lovely, just do my hair and I’ll pay you. I’m your client and this is a business transaction.

Yanbu, I don't really like it either op, but I prefer it over "you sound vile op" any day.

I don't mind them to be honest, I use them in my everyday speech (Northern) and would use them if someone was in distress and needed a handhold. I've read some really appalling things on hear and just because they have happened to a stranger doesn't meant that in that I don't have genuine compassion, sympathy and good thoughts for them. Do I sound really wet? Hehe I am a bit of a soft touch though. Nice costs nowt.

So Eugenes when someone posts "Oh OP I am so sorry your child has died" they are being condescending ?

I would rather someone say "You go now and have a wonderful day Sweetheart" than " Go fuck yerself you ugly cunt".

I will take vapid, meaningless, sugary stuff a million times over the vile, disgusting, venomous bile that some people spew.

I would rather see a few kisses at the end of a sentence than an angry face. I would rather sickly sweet than sick to my stomach nasty. If people are genuinely trying to be nice, in whatever way they see fit, that should be good enough, there are enough bullies already who never have anything nice to say and try to cut the legs from under those that do.

My real hate is anything beginning :-
"I'm sure..." when the respondent is obviously a stranger as well as strange.