Oh love..oh darling..oh bless you...

[saraclara]

Where has this come from? Why are people starting responses to OPs with this sort of sugary stuff when they don't know the OP from Adam?

I get that they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel vomity.

(Also anyone responding to this OP that way just to wind me up... I am SO not your darling and I WILL hunt you down )

I'm not being unreasonable to hate it, am I?

What’s with these nasty comments?

Loads of coverage on a post/poster saying
‘If you can be anything, be kind’
Bless you/ honey/darling are just upgrades on being ‘nice’ as far as I’m concerned.
In these days of rising shit mental health levels, depression and suicide, what’s wrong with being pleasant?
I am so sick of smart arsed slick wise guys with their nastiness. JUST BE FECKING NICE! Easy

In these days of rising shit mental health levels, depression and suicide, what’s wrong with being pleasant?
I am so sick of smart arsed slick wise guys with their nastiness. JUST BE FECKING NICE! Easy

Hear hear!

I don’t really mind sentimentality in general there is someone at my work who actually does have an x built into her automatic email signature e.g.

Kind Regards
Melanie x

Office Manager

Why?!?!

Get over yourself; the world needs more kindness and hugs, I love being called, sweetpea, sweetheart, love, darling etc etc....

It is some people's automatic way of addressing others and in my experience has tended to be regional, although some might beg to differ there.

It doesn't offend me, but it wouldn't be my automatic manner of speaking or addressing someone. It just isn't "me".

I think a lot of it is down to the way people are raised and the region they grew up in. I often say aww bless (not bless you). But it’s just an expression of aww I’m sorry in my family/neighbourhood. Again I wouldn’t call someone love or darling because that’s not something I’ve known growing up, but wouldn’t be offended if someone said that to me. I would call someone a star though (which another poster hated) or honey if they was sad and was trying to be nice

I think this is just taking offence for the sake of it and criticising people trying to be kind. To be honest despite what I’ve said above I will think twice about using any of these words now, as it will worry me someone like the OP will take offence. I find that a little sad though (I would place a sad emoji but that also might offend..)

So basically a whole tranche of MN posters think that there's nothing between sentimentality and being hateful.

It would seem that way, wouldn’t it? And that those of us who don’t indulge in the schmaltz are cold, standoffish, snobby, unkind and horrid with no empathy, no compassion apparently. 🤷‍♀️

“FieldOfFlameAndHeather“ I posted above and I would never think that. I don’t judge people on what terminology they use. If you called me ‘love’ it wouldn’t bother me even though I wouldn’t say it back. But if you responded without any of the mentioned words i wouldn’t think twice. I wouldn’t think you are snobby or horrid. Same way I wouldn’t belittle someone who did call me ‘love’ in a caring and compassionate way. Each to their own though. If people are trying to help I hope they continue too regardless of their opinion on this subject

The only stranger I will accept calling me love or darling is a market street trader (and only a proper ‘barrow boy’ at that).

@Beanie3 that’s ok I won’t call you either honey xxx 😂

@Beanie3

And that perfectly sums up my earlier post about how for a lot of people, this is about class and upbringing, and how different strata of society interact.

There are a fair few on this thread that have "worked hard" to get to wherever they feel they are in life, and therefore want to be addressed in a manner which they feel reflects that status at all times. Anyone who tries to draw them into their world of language, however well meaning, clearly deserves to be admonished for not recognising that the person they are addressing is important in some way.

Utterly ridiculous, utterly pretentious, not for me thanks.

@FieldOfFlameAndHeather

Nope.

You don't have to indulge in the schmaltz. For what it's worth I don't put kisses after my posts or call folk "honey" or whatever.

I don't however have any problem whatsoever with folk who do. And I have no desire to point them out to others on this board in order to signal to others that I'm one of "us" and not "them".

It's not nice, it's patronising.

If you like it, great. Disliking something does not make a person "not nice".

@LoveIsLovely you are correct disliking a phrase doesn’t make a person “not nice”. I would never generalise like that against lots of people who think this

In the same way thinking someone is “patronising” should be treated the same way don’t you think? Maybe they are just being nice? (Weird thought on this forum I know!)

Maybe just treat people as they treat you and don’t read so much into a word or phrase and get offended for the sake of being offended and having something to moan/post about. Instead maybe move on and not worry about it since it has caused you no harm?

@Toomanygerbils people like to have a moan. Don't you ever? People sharing their opinions is kind of the point of a forum really.

Bless you dear, perhaps you are a bit confused.

I think it’s because as we’re communicating online we can’t use the other ways of showing our feelings “I’m sorry for your loss” for example might be accompanied in real life by tone of voice and body language showing great attention and maybe a hug or arm squeeze etc or it can be very subtle.All this is missing online and I think people often feel great sympathy for others and so use the ‘endearments’ instead.They are not necessarily false.

Exactly @Indiemeg well said.

OP are you a southerner by any chance? Up north everyone calls you love and pet - it's just the norm. Really you sound a bit like Ebenezer Scrooge begrudging people their good cheer. You continue being standoffish and bristly as that seems to make you happy and righteous and the rest of us will keep on xxxxing loveying and kissy kissy mwah mwahing to our hearts' content

@dcthatsme I've said several times that this is about online communication. I'm from the Midlands, married a northener, transplanted down south, and REALLY miss the loves and m'ducks of our home areas.

But the above colloquial use is very different from kissy kissy mwah mwah hun, lovey. Which if you're a northener, you'll know.

In real life I call people “love” all the time what with being northern and that. Not on here though. And did anyone see the individual in Bristol with “be nice” on his FB profile exposed for writing abuse about Greta Thunburg. It’s all meaningless.

OP well all I can say is being nice to strangers even online is a good thing. There are enough trolls and haters out there ready to jump at people at the slightest difference of opinion. I really do think erring on the side of kindness and niceness is a very forgivable and even positive mistake. You are after all having a conversation with someone even if it is online - it is still a human interaction. There is a person behind every post (unless it's a bot :-) )

It doesn't harm you, unless you let it. It's not said to offend, I'm so done with all this PC shit. We are becoming a nation of moaners, and take offence at the slightest thing. So, a bus driver called you Darling, and someone gave up their seat on the bus for you, so f*ing what ? Look at the opposite which "could" have happened. The bus driver could've said "Good morning, bitch" the guy who gave up his seat for you will probably also give up his seat to an elderly lady who was finding it hard to stand up . People seem to have lost all sense of perspective, along with their sense of humour. We all need to get over ourselves, stop being so namby pamby, and princess like. You are NOT all that matters in the world, Precious.

“ In a world where you can be anything be kind “ It’s better than the alternative.

So, a bus driver called you Darling, and someone gave up their seat on the bus for you, so f*ing what ?

I have no idea why you're bringing that into this conversation about online sentimentality.

And did anyone see the individual in Bristol with “be nice” on his FB profile exposed for writing abuse about Greta Thunburg. It’s all meaningless

I didn't. But sadly it doesn't surprise me at all.