Oh love..oh darling..oh bless you...

[saraclara]

Where has this come from? Why are people starting responses to OPs with this sort of sugary stuff when they don't know the OP from Adam?

I get that they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel vomity.

(Also anyone responding to this OP that way just to wind me up... I am SO not your darling and I WILL hunt you down )

I'm not being unreasonable to hate it, am I?

You can't police that and you can't police what people's opinions are on the thread

Agree. Except that was the entire point of the OP lol - she was policing "flowery language"
Then, funnily enough when people disagreed its suddenly all "you cant police me! I'm entitled to my opinion". Same goes for flowery language sweet cheeks!

I only clicked on this thread as I thought maybe someones SO had uttered this in the throes of passion... I’m almost disappointed now.

That makes no sense, MimiLaRue, posters aren't in possession of the 'delete button' so there is no policing. There are opposing opinions, that's all. Posters can use flowery language all they like and posters can express their distaste for it. Nobody has done that on a sensitive thread that I've seen anyway.

Use of 'sweet cheeks' though? Yuck. Definitely something that a misogynist would say. I get that it was meant to be provocative but it's utterly vomit-inducing.

I have never seen "my love" or "my sweetheart" used on anything OTHER than a sensitive thread so thats why I find this OP so unpleasant and mean spirited. Yes, I agree you dont have to like it and you dont have to use it yourself but I simply cannot understand the point of making an entire thread about it. Its unkind. I also note that OP has still not yet commented or acknowledged any of the multiple replies on this thread from people who have posted heart wrenching situations and said they found comfort in flowery replies. They LIKED them.

Hope that makes sense hun!

But they don't express distaste on sensitive threads, just a mild irritation on this one. Some recipient posters will like that sort of language, others won't - it won't necessarily be apparent either way.

OP isn't answerable to you or me or anybody else. I find the use of 'hun' distasteful but as you meant it to be, I'll leave you to goad by yourself.

But they don't express distaste on sensitive threads

It doesnt matter- there are sensitive threads in actives right now where people are using that language as a way of expressing kindness to others going through a rough time. Do you really think they wont look at this thread and see people calling them "vomity" and not feel a bit embarrassed or discouraged that they are being mocked for the way they express kindness?

But crack on with your distaste and criticism. Good for you- glad its giving you some satisfaction.

I think ‘hun’ sounds like you are thick and chavvy ( ooh sorry !)
‘Bless’ sounds like you can’t think of any real conversation , I just like people to be real and say it as it is
A few kisses are ok xx

In a world full of hatred, jealousy, nastiness....what wrong with showing a bit of support, empathy & kindness to strangers.
Sad world if you can’t even do that.....

@mcvet I think ‘hun’ sounds like you are thick and chavvy ( ooh sorry !)
I think you are the one showing as Thick.
I'd like to describe how you are showing in more detail but I may get banned. I don't use hun personally, those who use chavvy are the worst IMO.

YABU in my opinion. 'Love' is a northern term of affection and is often said by complete strangers to one another. There's nothing wrong with people empathising and actually giving a damn.
I've found as a northerner living down south that the lack of care towards others that I see on a daily basis (especially on the Tube) disgusting and would much rather have the 'oh love' people of the world around.

Y A B U

WHY?

Cos there so many more things going on in our country or indeed the world.

Today I just had my fingernail removed due to suspected fingernail cancer/skin cancer. The support nurse must've used every term of ENDEARMENT going, while I was awake and having the procedure.

I often will go ... Oh hun that's not good, oh hun I'm so sorry. Admittedly most are people am acquaintanced with, and know just a little bit (FB friends for years).

Hun, my love, are terms of endearment I use the most. My fiancee is usually babe and I even wolf whistle her, which from.me, she likes, cos again it's a fun thing between us.

To get pissy knickers over people being nice, is such a strange thing to be arsey about, so to me.... You are being unreasonable.

Hun! That's the one that gets me! I hate it when people I don't know (or those I do) call me it, even have a parent (I am a secondary school teacher) that starts email to me about her child with "Hi Hun" I am her child's English teacher FFS not like I expect her to call me Miss like a student but hun? Not how you address someone in a professional setting IMO!

But I agree with op when I see terms of endearment on hear I wince!

I think you sound miserable hun. Bless you. You need a hug darling.

“Oh bless you” - so patronising!!

Probably someone has already said this but in the US in the South bless you and bless your heart is the polite way to say fuck you and fuck off.

'aw, bless'

I find this difficult. 2 fire service officers came to see me. They apparently pointed to something and said "over there". I'm blind (which they knew), so pointing and phrases like 'over there" are meaningless to me but when I mentioned this all I got was "aw, bless". I hate it. Its patronising and makes me feel like shit.

The following week, and related to the previous visit, 2 police officers came. The same thing happened!

I politely and nicely asked if they would say the same to someone above them at work, or anyone they perceived as equals or above. They didn't answer so I guess they realised what I meant.

Please don't say it.

It's called compassion and empathy.

Not everyone needs to be hard hearted/headed.

Stop being a drama llama. There are worse things to worry about and invest values in.

I think YABU

Humans communicate in the written word more now than ever before in history. We have adapted to that by trying to replace nuance and intonation in voice, facial gestures and other visible cues with extra words or emojis. They ‘pad’ the communication out for the receiver in order to give them a better understanding of the sincerity of the person doing the communicating.

Why not try being nice and friendly? If you're kind and chatty to others chances are they'll respond in kind plus they might spread the warmth to the next person they meet. Try it - it can make your day

Mean spirited post. I'd far rather have the 'oh love' folk around me than the waspish

Having said that, I rarely chose to communicate this way and reserve only for what I mean as a true display of sincerity.

My belief is that language is a tool for us all to use as we see fit. It shouldn’t be policed so heavily. Language is beautiful and one of the reasons we evolved to be the species we are today. Don’t be the person that tells someone else how to use it.

Come on op - feel the love my sweetie.

Doesn't bother me at all but then again I am from South London so I'd be annoyed at a hell of a lot of people if it did

I’ve never given it that much thought to be offended by it. Rather a patronising bless you than someone being outwardly spiteful to you though I suppose.

It just comes across patronising AF!