I have a mother who is ALWAYS late, she starts getting ready in plenty of time but is a nightmare for doing things like “I’ll just put a wash on” “I’ll just run the hoover round” etc the whole family now tells her to be places an HOUR earlier than she’s supposed to be and she turns up just after “on time”
She also used to be late for appointments until her drs threatened to remove her.
But she was always on time for work, so clearly she can be on time when she knows she has to be.
My sister, is horrendous even the above doesn’t work, she’s regularly SEVERAL HOURS late for things and her kids were regularly late for school to the point she was regularly pulled up about it and they hated it. On one occasion she was 8 HOURS late! She’s missed flights (on one occasion causing a huge argument with her ex) and lost jobs as a result too.
I’m nc with her now (mainly for other reasons but this was one of many more “minor” reasons) another annoying aspect was the ridiculous lies she would tell as excuses usually blaming her dc when it wasn’t them at all! Her eldest started making the first thing he said when they met up with people late “it wasn’t my fault!” And glaring at his mother. Her dc hated it! It often also led to them missing out on things they’d really looked forward to, friends birthday parties (they’d get there as people were leaving), school events (fayres, shows, she’d also be late to watching them in shows and they’d be heartbroken), films (pre booked tickets so the money would be wasted and she wouldn’t/couldn’t pay again), hobbies, sports matches etc. Awful for them. When they reached the age they could get themselves up, ready and off to school/hobbies etc they had no problem being there on time and often a little early.
Friends being late beyond 10/15 mins on an occasional basis (I haven’t driven for several years and know how unreliable public transport can be) is fine but regularly and consistently being late and more than a few mins is unacceptable, rude and entitled and I will say something to people who do this and make it clear I don’t like it.
To the pp who is on time for everything BUT friends/family - you are taking them horribly for granted and shouldn’t be surprised if as time goes on they are unwilling to do you any favours or keep tolerating this. It’s hugely disrespectful and insulting!
To the pp with the colleague who’s always late getting in...but not late going for lunch or going home. I’d be livid! especially if they’re paid the same or more than others who ARE putting the hours in.
I’ve heard this argument before on mn “but I get the work done I’m very productive” you’d be MORE productive if you got your arse in gear and spent the same amount of time in work as other colleagues.
Dad was army so we were raised “on time is 10 mins too late” and yes mums timekeeping drove him nuts! So my brother and I are always early if anything and certainly more realistic about planning a journey than either mum or sister.
There’s a particular journey locally that mum insists “only takes 10 mins straight up the dual carriageway” but she always fails to count the faff of her getting the car out the garage and the travel time either side of the carriageway and parking at the other end. So that journey really takes her about 40 mins (it takes others 20 mins).
But if she’s going to that place it’s a miracle if she leaves the house 5 mins before she’s due to be there!
It’s maddening!
Very few people have genuine medical reasons why they’re unable to manage their time sufficiently especially with all the tech we have available to help now and I would say that anyone who really is incapable of being on time is likely unwell/disabled enough to require other support too so it’s usually obvious that there’s a good reason.