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Original poster

If you had your time again would you still Chose to have children?

340 replies

Nofoolfornoone · 29/02/2020 21:40

I’m not asking if you love your children or if you wish they wertent around as I’m sure now you have them you wouldn’t change a thing.

But, I want to know, if you are being totally honest, If you had your time again would you still chose to have children?

OP posts:
georgialondon · 29/02/2020 22:58

100%!

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 29/02/2020 22:59

Definitely would still have them. Though I would do it a lot younger.

Flagg · 29/02/2020 23:00

people rarely regret having kids, but they often do regret not having them

Absolute rot.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 29/02/2020 23:03

I wouldn’t change my boys for the world but had I really known how all consuming it would be, I would have enjoyed alone time abs holidays a lot more. Also, if I had known how lucky I would be to get pregnant so quickly, I would have waited another few years and enjoyed married life and lots of holidays.

lottiegarbanzo · 29/02/2020 23:04

Yes, I'd start younger and have more.

Shmithecat2 · 29/02/2020 23:05

I'm honestly not sure. I love the bones of ds and he was very much wanted, but 4 years on, I find parenting a struggle on a daily basis. Rarely enjoyable. Full of stress and worry. So far, I was much happier pre DC. Maybe that will change in a few years. I hope so.

Kikkoman · 29/02/2020 23:05

Yes. They give my life depth. Every day there is always a moment when I look at each individual one and think -‘god I love you’

I do not want anymore though!

WingingWonder · 29/02/2020 23:05

I would probably recommend to anyone thinking of parenthood to stick at one based on current life ... I just don’t have the energy or time to split like I assumed I would. I find it relentless and draining and someone is always missing out :-( I hate the mum I am atm.

faracrossthepond · 29/02/2020 23:06

@Nofoolfornoone

Why the new thread asking childfree women if they regret NOT having kids?

Didn't get the result you wanted on here eh? Hoping more women regretted having kids? But 70% of women don't!

You must be very disappointed in this result to have started a new thread. Wink

You seem very determined to try and find women who are happy to not have children.

SO...

What is is...

Do you regret having them?

Or are you planning having them and worried about regretting it?

Because you seem determined to get the answer that people regret it.

The fact is, most people don't regret their children.

Original poster
Nofoolfornoone · 29/02/2020 23:08

@faracrossthepond I’m not sure why your post is so accusatory ? It’s quite clear why I started the new thread. It’s because a poster suggested this question was unhelpful as you are far more likely to have regrets about things you don’t do

OP posts:
GachaBread · 29/02/2020 23:11

I have 5 children and if I could start my life over again I would choose not to have children. Not even one. It is relentless as well as rewarding and on a daily basis I am always silently wishing that I could get my hands on one of those magic remote things so too press pause to all the crying, whining, tantrums, petty squabbles and the mess and destruction of my once beautiful home. Keeping 5 children happy is the most exhausting thing ever.
I have good and bad moments and I am faced with new and unexpected challenges on a regular. I miss my old life and I am not ashamed to admit it.

IcedPurple · 29/02/2020 23:14

I have 5 children and if I could start my life over again I would choose not to have children. Not even one.

No disrespect but.... if you regret it so much why did you have 5 children?

PanicAndRun · 29/02/2020 23:16

Yes, if anything if i could do it again I would also have a second as soon as possible after DD, despite the fact it took about 7 years after her birth to want another. Now it's too late and we can't afford it.

notangelinajolie · 29/02/2020 23:17

Yes, with bells on.

I'd have more.

GachaBread · 29/02/2020 23:18

@IcedPurple I took on my sisters three children when she died and have two of my own.

Chocolateandchats · 29/02/2020 23:21

I don’t regret it. I’ve been maternal forever. I’ve got a teenager and a little one and I can honestly say that although my childless friends are richer, have more holidays, less stress and clean homes I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love the madness and nothing in the world makes me happier than them.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/02/2020 23:22

Yes, I would - they have added more to my life than what they have taken away.

thelaststraw123 · 29/02/2020 23:24

@DonkeyKong2019
I echo what you said.
I've messed up loads with my children and they'd have been better off if I wasn't their mum

Rootd · 29/02/2020 23:26

No I wouldn't. My mental health has taken a huge hit and I'm not the mother I thought I'd be. I'm the angry shouty mum with no patience or energy it's completely unfair on them. I don't get much joy from being near them. I'm just totally drained.

JaceLancs · 29/02/2020 23:33

Yes
Best thing I ever did
I was ambivalent about having DC
Ex DH persuaded me
So glad I did my love for them outlasted ours

TAKESNOSHITSHIRLEY · 29/02/2020 23:34

defiantly yes

both boys were "tried for" and the 2nd wouldn't be here if it wasnt for for medical intervention-IE fertility tablets for 4 years

i would liked more but theres still time really as im only 39

boys are 15 and 9

poppetsocks · 29/02/2020 23:37

Yes, my first ds 19 is amazing never had a day of trouble with him he is my first love and is just a wonderful human being he makes me proud every day. My second....from the day he was born was an angry little thing, finds an argument in any situation, never does as he's asked didn't sleep till he was 4 and just drives us bonkers every day....But he makes us laugh so much, couldn't live without either of them, first ds is my calm and 2nd ds is my storm, they even each other out and they both have hearts of gold. Love them so much and couldn't imagine my life without them

Nat6999 · 29/02/2020 23:38

No, had I known then I was autistic I wouldn't have got married either. I've come to the conclusion that due to being autistic I am not compatible with relationships & have taken the decision that I am never going to enter a relationship again, I'm better off on my own & a lot happier.

bananafish · 29/02/2020 23:39

There's a quote: "you don't know what fear is until you've had children"'. So accurate.
My life would be absolutely meaningless without my children, so yes I would choose to have them again - in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality - to use another quote.

EmmiJay · 29/02/2020 23:40

On one hand I think my life would be totally different to what it is now. I'd definitely be richer Grin and I think I might have been in the same relationship I was in right before I got pregnant (thats another long story.) But the thought that my DD, could be in some other alternate universe, someone elses DD actually makes me jealous! So no I wouldn't have done anything different.

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