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Original poster

If you had your time again would you still Chose to have children?

340 replies

Nofoolfornoone · 29/02/2020 21:40

I’m not asking if you love your children or if you wish they wertent around as I’m sure now you have them you wouldn’t change a thing.

But, I want to know, if you are being totally honest, If you had your time again would you still chose to have children?

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 29/02/2020 22:38

@faracrossthepond - yes, she just said that? Confused

Why is it 'just' that when you say it again?

DameOfGroans · 29/02/2020 22:38

I love my son. But no, I don't think I would.

Though, when I'm out of the toddler stage, I might feel differently. He adds so much to our lives, but I miss being spontaneous. I hate that I can't make plans when I want without having to make arrangements for him. Everything takes longer. Everything is far more difficult.

Doyoumind · 29/02/2020 22:38

Only regret is not having more.

Ken1976 · 29/02/2020 22:39

@runningawaywiththecircus💐

Dowser · 29/02/2020 22:40

Yes my children are the best in the world.
I have their back and they have mine.
Plus my fabulous 6 grandchildren
It’s the reason I put up with our crappy winter climate.

Bananabixfloof · 29/02/2020 22:41

I would like to have been better prepared. I dont mean parenting, I mean timing. I should have bought a house, had a job where 9 months paid maternity was a proper thing and childcare was actually available.
I wouldn't change the children or the father (and honestly he was no great shakes) but the safety you feel when you own your own roof is immense. I think I would have been better with some security.

Evidencebased · 29/02/2020 22:41

D4rwin Flowers
Don't underestimate how how much and how long what you've given them will last.

Falcor40 · 29/02/2020 22:41

Yes. I would do it again. My kids are the thing I’m most proud of in my life. They are happy. Healthy. Funny. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Polite and kind children. I’m so incredibly proud. I’m also very happy with my life though. I’m very happily married. I had a wonderful career in what I’d wanted to do since I was 9! We have no money worries. I have horrific health issues brought on by pregnancy. But even that wouldn’t make me ever change it.

I do wish though. That someone had warned me that you’ll worry every single day for the rest of your life. Not just a little. Massive worries. Will my kids grow up ok. Will they be happy. Will they do well. Will they always be healthy. What if they get sick. What if they get attacked. Oh the list goes on.

faracrossthepond · 29/02/2020 22:43

@SarahAndQuack

WTF are you on about?

Dowser · 29/02/2020 22:46

My mum was my best friend and fought my corner and when she had dementia I fought hers.
In fact we all rallied round her.
I have two great son and daughter in law.
We don’t live in each other’s pockets but we are a team.
The nicest thing I ever did for them was paid for them All to fly to Tenerife for my wedding. A week’s holiday at a 4 star hotel with my favourite people was magic.
In fact I’d like to do it again for my 70 th but I think it’s going to be impossible trying to get us all together with uni, exams, work schedule nightmares

Dowser · 29/02/2020 22:46

That was all 12 of us btw

GrumpyHoonMain · 29/02/2020 22:47

There’s no point thinking like this. People are far more likely to regret things they don’t do - it’s why people rarely regret having kids, but they often do regret not having them especially when they are older and friends with children are busy with grandkids.

wished · 29/02/2020 22:47

If it'd be my children (as in the ones I have now) then yes. If not then still yes but would've waited 10/15 years (had DC1 at 19). Just to make everyone's lives easier as we'd (hopefully) have more money. I wouldn't change having them for the world as they wouldn't be them otherwise.

Whatafustercluck · 29/02/2020 22:47

Yes. They've taught me more about myself than anything else in life. I feel like I've known them my whole life.

AddressLabel · 29/02/2020 22:48

No I would not. Mine was an accident in my early 40s and I never intended to have children. I love him to bits but he's hard work and I sometimes resent him for the loss of my old life. I think if I was younger maybe I wouldn't feel like this, but I'm old and set in my ways and find it hard that I have to account for another person and I can't just do whatever I want at the drop of a hat anymore. Also I'm hemorraging money now. Nursery costs are absurd! That's my early retirement gone!

BakedBeeeen · 29/02/2020 22:49

I think I probably still would, even though they have come at a heavy heavy price (anxiety, stress, never mind the physical effects requiring surgery, still not fixed).
@Breathingunderwater I also feel like they make me not feel like me anymore.

SarahAndQuack · 29/02/2020 22:49

Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you! I just meant that I was confused because, as I understood it, you were saying you disagreed with someone, but they'd already said exactly the same as you'd said.

The OP said that there was an 70/30 split in replies. You asked why that was interesting as it was a 70/30 split. I didn't follow why you said 'just' in that context? You're making the same observation, aren't you?

Nowayorhighway · 29/02/2020 22:49

Yes but I did always want children from a very early age. I dreamt of having either four or six and thought I’d have an even number of girls and boys, I have two boys and two girls so it worked out fairly well Grin. I personally love being a Mother, it’s not always a song and dance of course but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Quicknamechange2020 · 29/02/2020 22:50

I would still have children but I wouldn’t have when I did and with who I did.

OntheWaves40 · 29/02/2020 22:50

Yes but I would only have one. I wouldn’t choose which one though and love them both it was just so hard having two

IcedPurple · 29/02/2020 22:50

they often do regret not having them especially when they are older and friends with children are busy with grandkids.

I've never met someone who regrets not having children. I'm sure they do exist, but I don't think it's as common as women are led to believe.

And if you didn't want children in the first place why would you regret not being 'busy with grandchildren' at a time when you can enjoy your retirement unencumbered?

tiredanddangerous · 29/02/2020 22:51

Absolutely yes. They bring me joy every day and I wouldn’t change a thing.

FunnysInLaJardin · 29/02/2020 22:52

Yes without hesitation.

They are 10 and 14 now and both a total delight.

I honestly could not imagine my life without my sons.

They cost a fortune and eat me out of house and home, but watching them grow and flourish is something I wouldn't miss for the world.

I was never really maternal and had my boys quite late - I am nearly 50 - but I have never regretted a minute and neither had DH

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 29/02/2020 22:53

100%. Except I’d invest in bitcoin early and have at least one more.

OP posts:
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