If you had your time again would you still Chose to have children?

[Nofoolfornoone]

I’m not asking if you love your children or if you wish they wertent around as I’m sure now you have them you wouldn’t change a thing.

But, I want to know, if you are being totally honest, If you had your time again would you still chose to have children?

"Whether one dwells primarily on joy or despondency is a matter of personality, not a reflection of external reality."

I kind of agree with this, but then when the kids start fighting again, it goes out the window.

I also agree with the “stick to one” that people have said. I have 3 (number 3 I caught in the pill and was an accident) I love them all equally. But I see how one child you get to experience the joy of children but also get to keep a bit more of yourself vs the war zone mine put me through daily and 3 times the worry, less money and the military organisation everything takes.

* I also agree with the “stick to one” that people have said*

Complete opposite here. I found 1 too intense, 2 feels more “fun”, lighter, easier, more of a unit (I’m a single parent).

@bring- that’s interesting. I was a single parent till my oldest was 3. I found it much easier with 1 even without a husband to share the load of 3. Things like getting a break even- loads of people would babysit 1 child- I find (rightfully so) that organising childcare for 3 is very difficult

It would be so depressingly final knowing that when you die there is no one left to mourn you/miss you. I don’t believe having friends/a good social life is the same. It’s good to have that too of course but it’s not the same.

I think it would be worse to have kids and know they won’t mourn/miss you. Plenty in that situation.

No

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus
I’m so sorry things are so tough. My dd has (undiagnosed) asd and some days have been the most trying of my life. I was also single for 6 years. I can relate to your feelings.

I hope you get more support in the future so you can get some respite, and find some joy again.

@Shookethtothecore

For me, as a single parent, it’s so much easier and “fun” with two children.

As I said though- both mine are “easy”, so probably drives my view real enjoying parenting as a single parent

@lottiegarbanzo I agree that people have always worried about the state of the world but a lot of the things they worried about were just things that "might happen".

Climate change is definitely happening and it seems pretty certain that there will be food and water shortages in the future. Also rising water levels are definite.

In the UK the problems with the cost of housing, lack of jobs, overcrowding etc are only ever going to get worse

Absolutely. I have one dc8. Wanted more but couldn't. I still feel pangs of guilt sometimes of not giving them a sibling but one is very manageable (and a joy ime) and my dh and I have maintained our careers and social life. So it has worked out well and dc is an amazing kind and funny child.

@Bringringbring12 yes, and my eldest is by far the most placid and “easy” of the three of mine so maybe that clouds my judgment aswell. The personality of the child really makes a difference. Mine all have positives and negatives like anyone else and I love them all equally in different ways. But I remember sobbing with my second son because he was just so defiant. My eldest was a breeze really and when my second was head strong and took joy in finding new ways to possibly kill himself from jumping off stuff/running off/ fighting his brother/ holding his bloody breath if he didn’t like something (I mean wtaf!!!) I couldn’t understand why he was behaving like that and nothing seemed to work to get him to stop. Fast forward a few years I’m now stressed that my eldest is so laid back he’s lazy and lacks focus so school is stressing me with him, and the middle one has the same energy to his school work and likes to be the best at anything so will work like a dog for his teachers. Basically it’s all stress and worry for the rest of your life and no one told me about this in the baby books 😂

A similar question was asked on "Loose Women earlier this week. The result was 68%/32% so very similar results to this poll.

Absolutely, they are the greatest adventure in our lives.

Absolutely 100%