If you had your time again would you still Chose to have children?

[Nofoolfornoone]

I’m not asking if you love your children or if you wish they wertent around as I’m sure now you have them you wouldn’t change a thing.

But, I want to know, if you are being totally honest, If you had your time again would you still chose to have children?

No, I wouldn't, but I don't think childless me would believe how bloody hard and soul destroying parenting can be so would probably still want to get pregnant!

@Nofoolfornoone

I would definitely not change a thing ever!

Never ever ever have I ever regretted having my kids.

And I really feel deep sorrow and pity for people who do.

I had a wonderful, lovely life before my kids came along, but OMG it's been so much better since I had them They're in their mid 20s now, but they mean the world to me. They're my friends, my family, and my life. I'd die for them. And DH feels the same.

Yes I would. There are definitely times when I've found it incredibly tough being a parent but overall the good significantly outweighs the bad.

Absolutely have them again. We have now adorable little grandchildren who are the light of our lives. Our children are a credit to us and great parents themselves.
Can’t ever imagine growing older without children and grandchildren around us.
Everyone is different but not for us.

No. I wouldn't have a child knowing all what I know. Having a child makes life so complicated

I would, but definetly not so many and would have had first mid 20s rather than at 19.

My children are all at ages where I thought life would be more enjoyable (not babys and past the toddler struggles) but life isnt any easier or happier and that's something I am really struggling with at the moment :( the guilt and regret of a lot of choices made in the last decade is really messing with my head.

But I truly love all my children and they are fantastic but I do wonder how things may have turned out differently

I would absolutely want children, yes.

The only thing that has changed is that I now know that I am the carrier of a disorder which can cause severe chronic pain and disability, and in fact know that my dd is probably settling down for another sleepless night in pain right now So would I find it right to take that risk with somebody else's life? Maybe not.

Might adopt though. My parents did with my youngest sibling.

Would definitely want parenting to be part of my life anyway.

Yes. Without question my life is better, richer and has more love in it with children.

Yes. 100%. She's the love of my life ❤️

OP, if you search, you will see several very long, very recent threads devoted to exactly this subject.

I wonder how many of those saying they’d still do it have grown up children so have forgotten the relentless of small children or those who only have one child.

Not sure. Pregnancy made me very ill and 6 years on my quality of life I suppose is significantly reduced. Adore my DD though.

Absolutely.
The love.
The pain.
The distress.
The worst days of all in hospitals.
The funerals.
The singing.
The love.
The games.
The children s books.
The special days.
The kiss goodnight.
I don't regret a single bloody thing.
Absolutely the best of my life.

Yes

I would have stuck with 2 and not had the 3rd. Would never say that out loud tho. Three is too many.

@BeroccaFiend thanks I will have a look

No, i wouldnt. Love DD, hate 'parenting'.

I've got three under five, I won't lie it's a fucking shift and a half on a daily basis, but I'm also the happiest I've ever been. They are the joy of my life and really the only thing I've ever done that I've been proud of.

Just following this post. I have wondered the exact same thing. I start IVF in 2 weeks, but have TTC 9yrs with 2 losses and early 40's now. Hubby and I have a great lifestyle, great relationship and many friends/couples without children. I do wonder if a baby would change things detrimentally and it might be regretted? (I realise no one can say, but this is a slight concern). Also the fact that we will likely only have 1, if at all. I'd always assumed I'd have 2.

Yes I would do it all exactly the same they are amazing and I love them so much

I would, yes. It is hard, but I feel happier and more fulfilled than I ever did before them.

If you asked me in the middle of the sleep deprived first few years you might have got a different answer though.

I would say yes now but there was a time I would have said no.

I find having a child an extremely anxious experience. I will now spend the rest of my life worrying about her whether I need to or not, I know I will. As much as it is an amazing adventure it is also pretty terrifying and my life will never ever be the same again. I feel I have aged 30 years in 2 short years. My life isn't mine anymore I wake up everyday for her and not for myself anymore and that's a bigger commitment that I ever thought it would be and its overwhelming.

It took us 3 years and ivf to have our dd and she is the best thing I have ever done. I didn’t think I was very maternal but my god has she changed me and for the better.

I would even though both my babies have turned me into a emotional mess...

Knowing I could lose them at any moment breaks my heart every time I think about it.
Everytime a headline pops up on the news about anything to do with kids I now cry whereas before I felt sad it didn't really affect me... Now I imagine my own children in those situations and can become a blubbery mess.

But I would do it a million times over because they also bring me more happiness than anything else can