to really not care if my son's female teacher talks about her wife?

[DrSeuss]

Discovered the other day that a female teacher who has since left both the school and teaching to take up another career was asked by SLT to not mention her wife to students. I sometimes mention my husband to pupils, e.g., "This experiment is the kind of thing my husband does a lot in his job" or "My husband uses German a lot in his line of work as the company does business with lots of German companies." although I don't give them specifics of our life together as that is neither relevant or appropriate in my opinion. However, the kids know I am married and a few basic facts such as what he does for a living. As the mother of a Y9 boy at another school, it wouldn't bother me at all if he was aware of a teacher's same sex partner. To clarify, she wasn't "promoting" a gay life style, she was saying things such as, "My wife and I went on a trip to London over half term." If she'd said, "My husband, " no one would have cared.

Would any of you be bothered by casual references to a same sex partner in conversation? If so, please can you articulate why as I just don't see it.

Didn't want to start a vote but it's there now

YANBU = it's fine to mention a single sex partner in conversation
YABU = the single sex partner may not be mentioned.

It's no different. It would be homophobic to think otherwise.

No it wouldn't bother me

But how did you find out she was asked not to?

That’s quite homophobic of the school unless all teachers there have been asked not to speak of their partners regardless of their sexuality.

I was told after the event. She was leaving to start a new career so didn't make a fuss. In retrospect, I wish I'd known at the time and I'd have encouraged her to complain.

I don't think teachers should talk about their family/partners at all, regardless of sexual orientation. Just can't see how it's relevant.

Are you sure? It’s possible something was lost in translation. If it’s definitely the case, then either: they asked all teachers not to mention their spouses, which is kinda odd, or they just asked her, which is also odd and I’d want to know why just her, as I agree it smacks of homophobia.

I too would welcome it. It’s life and certainly not something to be ashamed of/hide!

My daughter is in year 13 at a boys grammar school and her male maths teacher got married to his now husband last summer. The head teacher announced it in the school news letter and congratulated them both. I don't have a problem with it. Actually, I wouldn't have a problem if the teacher married a tiaster, as long as they are good at their jobs who cares what someone's sexual preference is v

I was told after the event. She was leaving to start a new career so didn't make a fuss. In retrospect, I wish I'd known at the time and I'd have encouraged her to complain.

She told you herself?

honestly couldn’t careless about what you do in your personal life in terms of whether you are straight or gay.

My son had a student who is a man but dresses like a woman. 🤷🏻‍♀️ He’s 5 and he didn’t give a shit

She should sue them, bigoted and disgusting that they banned her from simply mentioning her wife. I wouldn’t want my child to attend a school with that attitude.

Sadly, having had experience in a catholic school, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened there.

(Disclaimer: this may or may not represent all catholic schools)

@user1497207191 it is relevant because pupils love to hear something real about you and it helps them to remember things when you use it in an example. I would welcome a teacher normalising a same sex relationship.

@user1497207191 Re teachers not mentioning family at all - it’s completely natural for teachers to mention small things about their lives - it just comes up in conversation with students sometimes. It’s perfectly possible for a teacher to do that professionally - eg you wouldn’t start talking about your wife’s gynaecological problems, but you might mention she’s Italian and that’s why you’ve been to Roman ruins a lot in Italy, in a history lesson.

That’s ridiculous, I’m surprised they spoke to her. Was it a faith school?
It’s actually quite difficult to avoid saying she or he when talking about your husband/wife, and I thought those bad old days if hiding your sexuality at school were mostly over.
She should be able to reference her personal life in a casual, appropriate way the way many teachers would.

We are encouraged to build relationships with students. I give a few limited, selected, anodyne facts as part of that. For example, they know I'm married, have two children and like cooking and the theatre. Makes me a little more relatable while giving away very little, I think.

I was told by another gay teacher at school. most of the staff who are members of the LGBT community at our school keep it very quiet.

Would this not count as workplace discrimination?

I would often talk about my husband, and my children.

Can’t say why it would be different if I was homosexual.

‘would this not count as workplace discrimination?’
It would if the other teachers aren’t warned in the same way. Hope this isn’t the reason she left teaching.

Gaah! Clicked the wrong one!

Of course it’s fine to mention your partner, regardless of sex. It helps students to see teachers as normal people!

I'd be fine with it. Families come in all shapes and sizes.

On a slightly different note... I'm 27 weeks pregnant and not married. I have a fiancé. When I told the kids in my class I was expecting, one child questioned how as I was not married, and another asked if he should now call me Mrs * rather than Miss!!!

PS. For the record, I'm still staying a Miss when I do marry eventually!

It's relevant

Dh has interviewed me for his Politics A level group about the Poll tax marches

Since he's had a pic of our dog as his screensaver on the board behaviour has improved - they like seeing the dog

If it wasn’t for the fact you say she is starting a new career, I’d have thought you were talking about a friend of mine.

Appalled it still happens