to really not care if my son's female teacher talks about her wife?

[DrSeuss]

Discovered the other day that a female teacher who has since left both the school and teaching to take up another career was asked by SLT to not mention her wife to students. I sometimes mention my husband to pupils, e.g., "This experiment is the kind of thing my husband does a lot in his job" or "My husband uses German a lot in his line of work as the company does business with lots of German companies." although I don't give them specifics of our life together as that is neither relevant or appropriate in my opinion. However, the kids know I am married and a few basic facts such as what he does for a living. As the mother of a Y9 boy at another school, it wouldn't bother me at all if he was aware of a teacher's same sex partner. To clarify, she wasn't "promoting" a gay life style, she was saying things such as, "My wife and I went on a trip to London over half term." If she'd said, "My husband, " no one would have cared.

Would any of you be bothered by casual references to a same sex partner in conversation? If so, please can you articulate why as I just don't see it.

Kids aren’t as accepting yet as the media would have us believe.

That's not my experience of teacher infants at all. They are totally accepting and just don't question it, even those from stricter backgrounds where gay relationships are definitely not encouraged.

At my school over the past few years we've had children who are not gender conforming, parents who are in same sex relationships, parent who has changed their gender identity, parents who have split and got together with another parent, children from different family make ups, different backgrounds, different cultures, to name just a handful. We have had staff from diverse backgrounds and have a school make up of even more diverse backgrounds and cultures.

The children aged 4-7 year are all totally accepting of one another and each other's family make ups. Ours move to a nearby juniors and, when speaking to their school staff, the children don't really change, though some parents make try to make them.

I talk about my family, experiences and life all the time to show how concepts are relative, to explain things fully. Don’t know how you can teach and not do that.

I don't think teachers should talk about their family/partners at all, regardless of sexual orientation. Just can't see how it's relevant.

That depends.

When teaching health and social care I will reference my grandmothers and their experiences of care in their own homes and in care homes.

The experience my mother had being pregnant and exposed to Rubella, but no scans available then, just cross your fingers and hope.

Kids love a bit of reality.

And the excitement if a couple of teachers at the same school get married.

Kids aren’t as accepting yet as the media would have us believe.

Kids are exactly as accepting as their parents and family teach them to be.

And the excitement if a couple of teachers at the same school get married
Especially when they think they're the first to stumble on this information.

I remember a group of year 10 students coming in excited one September saying "guess what?! You know Miss Brown and Mr Smith...now they are Mr and Mrs SMITH!!!" I laughed and their response was "As if you knew!!"
Obviously the whole staff knew they were an item and many of us were at the wedding.

Would the kids even notice? Mine don't bat an eyelid.

I’m a practicing Catholic and struggle with the church position on homosexuality (and a number of other things).

This is straightforward discrimination unless directed at all staff. I suspect many catholic would disagree but I think it is unacceptable, particularly in a state school or academy. I have found that a lot of things that are completely unacceptable become much better accepted when it actually comes down to an individual such as the woman who transitioned to a man.

Catholic ethos can’t be allowed to exempt from discrimination laws and equality teaching.

I’m less sure in a private school, but arguably should be because they are still an employer.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest

I'd welcome it too.

For the record, my children are at/were at a Catholic primary school and we're practising Catholics. Last summer one of the teachers got married and he and his husband were also congratulated publicly. No one batted an eyelid except to ask to see all the photos. Which is absolutely as it should be.

Wouldn't bother me at all but we have gay friends that have been in ds life since birth , so he doesn't bat an eyelid. It may raise questions that some parents might feel uncomfortable answering ( everyone has different views)

It's discrimination which is against the law. She is protected under the Equality Act.

there are still lots of people around who think that even mentioning your wife, if you are a woman, near children somehow ‘promotes’ homosexuality to them. And if it’s a popular teacher that the kids like that’s even worse... what if the kid sees them positively?
Too many bigots still around unfortunately.

Both my, adult, daughters are gay.

One is a y6 teacher in a faith school. She is open about being gay both with staff and her pupils. Neither group have been unpleasant, banned discussion, made fun/inappropriate comments.

Some children have shown a little interest but only in the way that they want to know your first name, how old you are, what pets you have etc.

This is as it should be.

My other daughters partner teaches in a secondary school. Again she doesn't hide away. She runs/hosts a LGTBQ club in school and will talk to those who feel lost.

And before anyone gets over excited we’re not talking promotion but helping those with problems.

I found, in my teaching career, that most children, who have been untainted by parents, relatives, religion and other assorted bigots, are fine and open with those around them who are different.

I liked the comment on p5 about a teacher being looked into when discussing who lived where....... my children went to where I taught..... I’d often come home to find half a dozen pupils at my house hanging out with my children!

LolaSmiles

I did a long term placement at one school, at half term two couples got married, two! One of the women changed her name to be Mrs but the other didn't.

This caused a lot of debate and excitement.

Horrible ! My child had a teacher the other year who is a woman is married to a woman and her wife was pregnant and when she went on her leave after the baby was born the kids were buzzing for Mrs x’s wife to have the baby etc and for them to be mummies, there was no ‘confusion’ there was no controversy.

In secondary I remember we used to love hearing about teachers families etc. our form teacher brought her new baby in to see us and some of us did a collection and bought an outfit from M&S for the baby with the money 😂 we felt so grown up. Remember a science teacher showing us pics of his kids on his laptop. And asking all about teachers weddings when they came back from summer hols with a new surname !

Also some teachers spouses Came in to lead careers events, if they were in law or law enforcement or doctors etc

I think it’s good for kids to know teachers are human with families not robots that power down at night

It's awful she was told not to mention her wife like shes some disgusting secret. My sons teacher told the class about his wife and kids and where his wife's from (china). Bet he was not asked to keep quiet about her (she sounds lovely btw).

My teachers used to mention their family members all the time, I don't see the harm in it.

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'd expect it to happen way more at a primary school though, as younger children are nosier/far more interested in their teacher's lives than Y9 teens.

My friend and colleague is a female teacher married to another female member of staff. Neither of them had been 'out' at school to the pupils, but when they got married they both mentioned it, casually, as anyone else would if they were getting married. My friend had very positive reactions from the kids. Lots of kids asked what her husband was like and she told them matter of factly that she didn't have a husband she had a wife (which the older kids were well aware of, they were attempting to embarrass her)

I have no problem at all with teachers in a same sex relationship mentioning this in the same way they would if their partner was a different sex. One of the male teachers at dd's school has a boyfriend who comes to plays and events, just as often as other teacher spouses, maybe a bit more. Some of the kids have realised they are a couple, others think they are just friends, because some kids are oblivious to other people's relationships.

Clicked the wrong one by mistake - meant to click YANBU but clicked YABU

I worked at a catholic school. Female friend married a woman. Very much not allowed to discuss it at all- told my management

No, it wouldn't bother me. We had several gay teachers at my secondary school in the 90s. I don't know how I know but I presume it's because they mentioned their partners at some time? It wasn't an issue. Besides, the head of the school was gay as well so if anyone would have had a problem with it they would have had to discuss it with him first 😁. Catholic school too.

My kids have known since they were old enough to understand relationships that some couples are male/female, some are male/male etc etc etc because of family and friends who aren’t in heterosexual relationships. The same way they’ve always known that some people have just one parent and other family ‘structures’.

If they’ve always been aware of it, they don’t bat an eyelid. Because it’s nothing to bat an eyelid at. We’re all different 🤷🏼‍♀️