AIBU to not go to my Son’s and Dil Gender reveal and other dramas

[Leaannb]

For some odd reason My DIL and her friends have decided to plan her Gender Reveal on March 20 at 4pm to 7pm I have a child that doesn’t even get out of school until 345. I don’t leave the parking lot until 4. After that I still need to drop off one brother at work, pick up my youngest child from daycare at 430, go home change at least her clothes then go pick up my mother,get her ready and then drive 45 minutes to the location of the party. We might get there by 545 if we are lucky because it’s right during rush hour traffic and then we would have to leave by 630 still through rush hour traffic so I can get every body home. So I can take my mother home and get her showered and dressed for the evening. All of this after working a 12 hour day. I love my DIL very much but she really needs to lower her expectations of what our involvement level is going to be. There is absolutely no way we can meet her expectations. At this point I have no idea what to do. Not to mention that I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work.Its just getting ridiculous

@Leaannb YANBU to not go.

Where about a in the US do you live? And how do people get around with no taxis if they don't drive?

OP, the answer is simplr: as Dawn Butler helpfully told us recently, babies are born without sex! And they don't have a gender, either, until they're old enough to tell the world which of the current 50 or so they've decided on. Just tell DiL that you'll come to the party your DGC organises and invites you to in 10 years or so. Soften the blow by sending gender-neutral greige babygros in the first three sizes.

Job done!

@EugenesAxe I wouldn’t be as worried about Americans and our useage of plastic. You should be worried about are love of huge vehicles and very spotty public transportation. Not to mention the fact that even in areas with decent public transportation most people prefer to drive their very large SUVs. Myself included. I drive a Ford Expedition which seats 8. I always have even when I lived in the UK on your much narrower roads and smaller parking spaces. I’m already on the waiting list for an Excursion that will fit 10 next year.

@LynetteScavo I live in rural Texas. You either drive,beg rides or you stay at home

Have the pay checks ready to pick up from 9am on the Friday so employees have the whole day to come and collect them.

It's not nice to be sherry about gender reveal parties to American posters. It's a cultural norm out there and it's rude to bitch about other people's customs.

OP, I agree with pp that you need to put a stop to delivering pay cheques. Either do a Bacs transfer or tell staff to collect their own wages. Maybe you could also utilise staff to help you out with your mother every so often.

Sherry = sneery

I'm guessing they planned it around their own stuff and then invited everyone. Just let them know you'll either be there late or may not be able to make it.

It’s your grandchild, I assume possibly your first one from the age of your kids? Can’t you just support on one day? It’s a pain in the arse yes and awkward timing but maybe bend your routine to be there?

@Sissymate2 I feel like I did my best helping my DIL through that mess. I hired her a very good attorney who got her off with community service and as long as she doesn’t get into anymore trouble it won’t show up on her criminal record. We also offered to pay for vocational school after baby comes including paying all daycare fees. So I truly believe I did my best for her

What the hell is up with you?! What caused you to be such a doormat?!

Why would you not tell her to piss off and hire your son a shark lawyer to get the best divorce and custody of the baby and never see her again.

@ButtonandPickle19 if there were anyway I could bend my schedule I would but it’s impossible. Our school districts missing days and early sign outs very seriously. Too many and they will be retained for the next school year

@itsallthedramaMickiloveit because in my state you can’t file for divorce while pregnant. He would have to wait until after the baby is born. If he comes up to me afterwords and says he wants a divorce I will hand him a blank check book

I know. I'm the one who posted that info first.

You shouldn't have helped her.
If he won't divorce her you should've said that you will never help or have a relationship with her.

@JuanSheetIsPlenty I have an appointment with my accountant the first week of pay. If I can guarantee that if one of my employees need one week of pay that they have already worked for an emergency then that’s the way I will go. If not try to find another way

Be realistic. Are you one of those people who enjoys being viewed as the hard done by martyr.

@Aderyn19

Couldn't agree more.

@itsallthedramaMickiloveit I didn’t want my grandchild born in federal prison. Her going to prison would have only hurt my grandchild. Now and I’m the future

I'm sorry but you don't need to be there. Gender reveal is such a non-event. Just say you are busy.

You obviously don't like her and don't want to go so don't go! I doubt she will miss you. (Or you could just plan ahead and book one afternoon off work and keep the little one out of daycare or whatever but clearly this is too much effort for you)

But she's still a raving bitch. After everything you've done.
So why was your response to her kicking off at you over this not fuck off you psycho.

@Aderyn19 it’s becoming a cultural thing but it’s relatively new. I agree with most posters it’s a crock and I blame pinterest

I have an appointment with my accountant the first week of pay. If I can guarantee that if one of my employees need one week of pay that they have already worked for an emergency then that’s the way I will go.

I don’t understand this.

Your mother expects too much of you too. Don't you think? She needs to think long term about buying in help needed and letting you live ther life a little and enjoy your new grandchild.

Sorry dil, really awkward timings having it on a friday afternoon. I won't be able to make it. Have a great time.
Why not a weekend? People have to work. Can't be disappointed if you arrange something on a work day and people can't come.