AIBU to not go to my Son’s and Dil Gender reveal and other dramas

[Leaannb]

For some odd reason My DIL and her friends have decided to plan her Gender Reveal on March 20 at 4pm to 7pm I have a child that doesn’t even get out of school until 345. I don’t leave the parking lot until 4. After that I still need to drop off one brother at work, pick up my youngest child from daycare at 430, go home change at least her clothes then go pick up my mother,get her ready and then drive 45 minutes to the location of the party. We might get there by 545 if we are lucky because it’s right during rush hour traffic and then we would have to leave by 630 still through rush hour traffic so I can get every body home. So I can take my mother home and get her showered and dressed for the evening. All of this after working a 12 hour day. I love my DIL very much but she really needs to lower her expectations of what our involvement level is going to be. There is absolutely no way we can meet her expectations. At this point I have no idea what to do. Not to mention that I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work.Its just getting ridiculous

@horehound I meant 5 years apart but if you want to get technical they will be 5.5 years apart

@Fannia he can’t get a ride with a friend or coworker because he has to make the night deposit and we don’t have taxis, Uber or Lyft or any kind of public transportation

I’d be very, very careful if I was you OP. She is the mother of your future grandchild & unless you don’t want a relationship with them I’d tread carefully.

Honestly it sounds like you just don’t like her.

Call her...
‘DIL I’m so sorry but DC doesn’t finish school until 3.45pm. Then I’d have to pick mum up & couldn’t be with you realistically until 6pm. I know I will miss some of the party but would I be in time for the gender reveal?!’

For what it’s worth I don’t think gender reveals are tacky. Having a baby is an amazing thing most people don’t do many times in their life, & finding out if you’re going to have a son or daughter is exciting!! There is NOTHING wrong in making a song & dance about something joyous in your life.

From this thread, I just feel sorry for your DIL tbh. Sort it out.

There is NOTHING wrong in making a song & dance about something joyous in your life.

Yeah you do that when the baby is born healthy not after a ultrasound that tells you the sex

@surfer25 you can do what ever you like, & so can anyone else.

@Leaannb thanks for the invitation, unfortunately I won’t be able to make it
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finding out if you’re going to have a son or daughter is exciting!!

To the couple. No one else really gives a shit.

I find it exciting 😂 not life changing exciting obviously, but in the moment it is & there’s nothing wrong with being excited for someone else being excited - if you give a shit about them.

I’m obviously pleased for people I know who have babies but parties celebrating whether a foetus has a penis or a vagina by whooping and hollering over a pink or blue cake is ridiculous. It’s only ever going to be a choice of 2, hardly big surprise stuff.

Misery. Embrace her joy - why should she cut it down for you?

whether a foetus has a penis or a vagina

Nice.

YANBU - if you can't make it then that's that. Your child comes before a party and in the grand scheme of things finding out the baby's sex really doesn't matter right now.

As an aside I don't understand the comments about the age difference, it happens! There are 18 years between myself and my youngest sibling (yes, same mum!) - that sibling was born 8 months before my DS. So there are 8 months between Aunt/nephew!

It’s not meant to be nice or not nice, @1second. That’s basically what a so caked gender reveal is. Whether it’s a boy or a girl. Boys have penises and girls vaginas. That’s basically what these stupid parties are celebrating. What do you think they are? Lots of gendered shite about buying pink or blue, whether they’ll be into dancing or football?

So called

I'd also suggest that your non-driving son get his license. It's not that difficult nor that expensive. Unless of course he has a good reason for not driving, such as a disability or whatever.

I can't imagine living in rural Texas and not being able to drive. It must be very limiting for him.

Is it not possible that she and her friend didn't plan the party specifically to suit your schedule? You can't make it, so just send your apologies, what's the big deal exactly?

Just seems unnecessarily clinical, yeah it’s the facts but it’s rude, isn’t it? You wouldn’t say it to your pregnant friend.

People who knock gender reveals seem to have an air of superiority about it - like they are so much better than everyone else for not caring. Fair enough.

Don’t think everyone who has a gender reveal falls into the ‘my princess’ or ‘my little soldier’ categories either.

^People who knock gender reveals seem to have an air of superiority about it - like they are so much better than everyone else for not caring. Fair enough.*

lol. I think you might be projecting dear:

No I wouldn’t say that to my pregnant friend but then I wouldn’t go to her “gender reveal” party either. Thankfully none of my friends have bought into this rubbish.

@AcrossthePond55 He can’t get his license right because they have been suspended due to health issues. It’s very tough on him and for me because obviously I’m the one who has to take him back and forth to school and back and forth to work. It’s very tough

@PointlessAddict 😂👍🏼 Lucky your friends are as wise as you then.

@1second Ot sounds like I don’t like her? If I didn’t like her I would have let set in federal prison for 3 to 5 years. I wouldn’t have offered to pay for vocational retraining. Just because I can’t go to a party doesn’t mean I don’t like someone

@Leaannb how far along is your DIL? Gender (I know sex) is usually revealed at 20 weeks. You say you helped her out because you did not want the baby born in Prison. So she was already arrested, gone to court and had an outcome of the case in that short of time? Also I'm confused by one of your reasons for leaving early. You say you have to leave early because you have to pick up son from Restaurant. He is the only Manager on a Friday Night, and he is making the deposit, and you have to pick him up how early? I would think it would be after Midnight.

I dont get why people arfe going on about how you pay your staff its up to you

I agree about gender reveals omg its a girl or omg its a boy and? whats the point you wont feel or act any differently one way or another

I don't get why people are going on about how you pay your staff. Its up to you

It is because it seems like a very long winded way to pay them when a simple BACS payment will do. I'm struggling to understand why the OP is talking about giving staff pay checks, then says she hasn't written a cheque since 1998.

Just don’t go?