AIBU to not go to my Son’s and Dil Gender reveal and other dramas

[Leaannb]

For some odd reason My DIL and her friends have decided to plan her Gender Reveal on March 20 at 4pm to 7pm I have a child that doesn’t even get out of school until 345. I don’t leave the parking lot until 4. After that I still need to drop off one brother at work, pick up my youngest child from daycare at 430, go home change at least her clothes then go pick up my mother,get her ready and then drive 45 minutes to the location of the party. We might get there by 545 if we are lucky because it’s right during rush hour traffic and then we would have to leave by 630 still through rush hour traffic so I can get every body home. So I can take my mother home and get her showered and dressed for the evening. All of this after working a 12 hour day. I love my DIL very much but she really needs to lower her expectations of what our involvement level is going to be. There is absolutely no way we can meet her expectations. At this point I have no idea what to do. Not to mention that I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work.Its just getting ridiculous

May be beside the point, but if your employees refused direct deposit, I wouldn't be driving around to drop their cheques off. If they want them, they collect them.

As for the party, just don't go and don't engage. She can sit at her weekday party on her Jack Jones. Idiot woman.

@Leaannb

Well, that's a darned shame! If it's suspended, hope he'll be able to get it back at some point.

The lack of good public transport in the US is a real bitch, isn't it? I'm in semi-rural California and we're absolutely tied to our cars and when in the city, to Uber/Lyft. I once tried to 'plot' taking a bus home from our usual mechanic after dropping our car and a drive that takes about 20 minutes was 2.5 HOURS and THREE transfers by bus! Ended up telling DH that he'd have to just take off work and come get me!

Its not relelvant as the op wasnt about how she pays her staff ffs

A gender reveal party ffs, my god how tasteless!

Tell her you can't do it and be done with it

American here who has lived in UK for 35 years. This thread is a helpful reminder why I prefer it here!
I do forget how backwards banking in US is, but I suspect that the reason OPs staff collect cheques, then deposit via mobile banking right in front of her is that they want to see the actual cheque. They are probably worried that the electronic transfer won’t work, be delayed, or they will get messed about. Also, I think OP meant that she herself hadn’t written a personal cheque since 1998, but has to write all these payroll cheques.
Hopefully some of these responses will help her realise that she needs to streamline aspects of her life, and ESPECIALLY do less for others, FGS!

This isn’t an AIBU.
But I guess we don’t have a section for “I Want To Complain About My Family”.

DIL sounds like a nightmare!

I don’t even understand baby showers, so I wouldn’t worry if I couldn’t make it.

Also I said no gifts I just wanted those I love to share in our special moment as it took a long while to get to that point.

It wouldn't occur to me to give a GIFT for a sex reveal. What bonkers weirdness would that be?

I feel I can help out here. The baby is going to be a girl or a boy. I am 99 percent certain it is a girl, but if I'm wrong it will be a boy. No need for long drives and time stress.
You're welcome,

Couldn’t you have just done all your needed to do and then gone? I planned a gender reveal, it was a nightmare scheduling wise between my husbands working hours and his parents working hours but in the end the only way I could make sure everyone would be there eventually and I’d still get a party that lasted more than 30 minutes before my DDs bedtime, was to have it start about 1/1.5hrs before FIL and SIL could arrive, but only have some fun celebrations and arch up before they arrived and wait for them before announcing, everyone was totally fine with this arrangement!

I’m just curious, but do you have a gun in your glovebox?

No help op, but sending and a

Try and take 5 mins to sit down at some point, you sound exhausted

@leeannb

Just popped in to wave 👋 at you from Lakenheath

You sound as bad as each other on the drama front to be honest.

Is your dh - your son's father - you said the dc sll had the same father- able to help out so you could make the party* ? @Leaannb*

If you tell your dil that you want a surprise about the baby's sex then you have a good excuse not to go. But yes, you need to stop running around for the adults. Run around for your children and old mum only.

It honestly just sounds like you can’t go. But can your husband help at all with the lift for your son who works so you get son from school, have an outfit for daughter in your bag, drive to your mums to get her ready and daughter change. Then go to party at roughly 5? Can DIL change the party to 5 on the understanding that a lot more people can make it?
You say she was offered the event at the restaurant your son works in, free, for up to 150 people. Please tell me 150 people don’t go to this do they? (Mind blown!!!)