AIBU to not go to my Son’s and Dil Gender reveal and other dramas

[Leaannb]

For some odd reason My DIL and her friends have decided to plan her Gender Reveal on March 20 at 4pm to 7pm I have a child that doesn’t even get out of school until 345. I don’t leave the parking lot until 4. After that I still need to drop off one brother at work, pick up my youngest child from daycare at 430, go home change at least her clothes then go pick up my mother,get her ready and then drive 45 minutes to the location of the party. We might get there by 545 if we are lucky because it’s right during rush hour traffic and then we would have to leave by 630 still through rush hour traffic so I can get every body home. So I can take my mother home and get her showered and dressed for the evening. All of this after working a 12 hour day. I love my DIL very much but she really needs to lower her expectations of what our involvement level is going to be. There is absolutely no way we can meet her expectations. At this point I have no idea what to do. Not to mention that I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work.Its just getting ridiculous

There is a 26 year gap between my oldest and my youngest. My oldest is actually living in your country for the next 3 years. I have 4 boys and 1 girl. Oldest is turning 25 this year. The one that is getting married is 24, the next one is 17, the next boy is 12 and my little girl turns 5 on Tuesday.

I hope you’re not calculating the paypackets.

(ALSO- why can’t you pay by bank transfer?)

* There is no way I can pick him up at 345 and my daughter up and drive 45 minutes to the party*

“No way”. So why start a thread?

I can't even remember the last time I saw I cheque! I'm nearly 50 and have never been paid by cheque...

@CommunistLegoBloc I don’t live in the UK though I visit several times a year. I live in the Southern US. You most definitely cannot divorce hear while pregnant. In my state you have to be legally separated for a complete year just to file for divorce for this very exact reason

I was confused. Was the DIl changing gender or was she merely pointing out the sex of her child/baby to be????

@Bringringbring12

You haven't heard that phrase before? Give me strength. It's just a way of speaking.

sleepingpup come on - do you forget the age gap between your children to the tune of seven years?

I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work

I fired her because she tried to commit insurance fraud

I'm completely lost by this whole thread, but a gender reveal party would to my mind be on the same level of hideousness as a baby shower or a hen party.

I'm rubbish at maths personally. And I have 4 kids. So maybe yes.

You're probably great at numbers but yep it takes all types.

* There's a 19 year gap between your oldest and youngest, not 26 as you said *

Yes OP - how did you get this wrong?

Is a gender reveal party instead of, or as well as, a baby shower?

Double the presents and more when the baby's born, then even more when the baby is named/christened etc? Cool.

If it's important to your son and DIL, you probably should go to the party, it will be held against you if don't. So pick up youngest child from school, with party dress to get changed into, and drive straight there. You don't have to take your Mum, ferry your brother, or anything else. If you want to drop off cheques,( which sound an unnecessary layer of fuss) then do it before or after. Even if you only go for an hour, you will have made the effort, which will count in years to come.

Yanbu

I never got the sex reveal parties

Tell me when it's born what it is

@sleepingpup

But if there’s no way, then there’s no debate is there. It’s not possible

Yes OP - how did you get this wrong?

who cares?

Employ the MN standard response...I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me.

@Bringringbring12

It's just a way of talking. Not a finite fact.

Don’t go

This is utterly bonkers.

I can send money directly to any employee by transfer immediately, I don’t understand what the problem is and how cheques are easier - the more I hear about how shit works in The US the more bonkers it seems.

And don’t go - the party is ridiculous

YANBU gender reveals/proms etc we don't need this Americanisation

@Leaannb you’re revealing way too much about yourself in your posts. People are going to keep asking questions to goad you and be nosy. I suggest walking away from this thread.

YANBU. If you can't make it then that's all there is to it. Unless some family members could help with the workload ? As a one off another staff member could give out the pay packets, another family member could pick up the kids (their father) ? Whilst you go and collect your mum or could someone else do that ? Sounds like your doing pretty much everything and maybe others could help out every now and again. You might find people are only to happy to help out. I never bothered with gender reveal. It's not really a thing in Scotland.

I don't get sex reveal parties. Surely everyone invited is equally whether it's a boy or girl? (I assume the siblings know if they are expecting a brother or sister before the party?)

Yanbu to ditch the party. There's only one of you and it's not like you can leave a 5yr old stranded at school.