AIBU to not go to my Son’s and Dil Gender reveal and other dramas

[Leaannb]

For some odd reason My DIL and her friends have decided to plan her Gender Reveal on March 20 at 4pm to 7pm I have a child that doesn’t even get out of school until 345. I don’t leave the parking lot until 4. After that I still need to drop off one brother at work, pick up my youngest child from daycare at 430, go home change at least her clothes then go pick up my mother,get her ready and then drive 45 minutes to the location of the party. We might get there by 545 if we are lucky because it’s right during rush hour traffic and then we would have to leave by 630 still through rush hour traffic so I can get every body home. So I can take my mother home and get her showered and dressed for the evening. All of this after working a 12 hour day. I love my DIL very much but she really needs to lower her expectations of what our involvement level is going to be. There is absolutely no way we can meet her expectations. At this point I have no idea what to do. Not to mention that I’ve already had to fire her due to her refusal to work.Its just getting ridiculous

My life seems so calm and event-free after reading that!

😂

You have very rigid timings - why would you have to leave at 6.45? Couldn't you be a bit later home on a Friday?

Why do you pay your staff by cheque and deliver their cheques to them? Surely if they need to have their money on the day, they'd collect them? And with the time it takes for cheques to clear, surely you'd be better moving with the times and paying by BACS?

@bingbangbing No it’s the third brother that can’t make it. He has to cover for the father at the restaurant. The General Manager and Assistant Manager can’t be off on the same days

DIL is very, very upset that I And the next brother will not be there for the Gender Reveal

Why?

I mean genuinely, what difference is it going to make when you'll find out the gender in time anyway, and no doubt you'll be excited and supportive about the baby's actual arrival?

If you sacked her pregnant ass, I doubt she gives a fucking fuck whether you come or not.

Errrm..... just to mention it's 'sex reveal' not 'gender reveal'. Gender is a social construction, sex a biological fact. Although I understand the parents may not want the words 'sex', 'party' and 'baby' in the same context...

Your dil doesn't sound very bright.

Best leave your more sensible ds to deal with it all.

Tell us more, OP. There must be more.

I’m so sorry OP she does sound like very hard work.

But I think you do need to just try and let this one go. You’ve explained you can’t attend and why. She might be upset but if you can’t go, you can’t go. So all you can do is just politely reiterate that if she asks.

And aside from that I would stay well out of all of it. Your son is going to have to fight his own battles. It’s really hard when all this drama is happening, but it’s not your drama. The more you get involved the more there is a huge chance this will blow up in your face. She and you son will make up, and you will be left looking like the bad guy. Stay well out of all of it.

I think gender reveal parties are one of the most self absorbed things I have heard of!

God help one and all subjected to them

@Category12 I would have to leave by 645 so I can get everyone home and my mother settled into her apartment before having to pick up the 3rd brother from work. I offered my employees the chance to have direct deposit but they refused. Sometimes on off weeks they might need a paycheck earlier due to an emergency and can’t do that with direct deposit. Most banks in US offer mobile banking to where all you have to do is sign the check, take a picture and deposit it through their phone app. Funds are available immediately. Plus we have Wal-Mart and other stores that will cash a check immediately for a small fee

I can't imagine any Englishman agreeing to attend a gender reveal party! Just tell her you're looking forward to a surprise when it arrives.

However, I'm far more interested in how you seem so relaxed about your son - who is in a decent job - marrying a fraudster who could well have ended up in prison or with a criminal record?

This thread poses more questions than it currently answers - what was the Medicare fraud?
What do you do?
What was DIL and your ds’s reaction to being fired?
Can your two sons never have the day off at the same time? What about weddings?
Why is your dil so attached to having it on a week day?

Why are you delivering people’s pay checks?

I'm not American but the original post really tickled me!

@Leavingthetable It was either her being sacked or delivering the baby in jail so there you go. I protected her as much as I could during that fiasco but due to her own actions her certification was revoked. At that point in time she was no longer allowed to work in this career field and will never be able to work in the Medical field again

Too much drama from all concerned, including you OP.

1. Pick your DC up from school/daycare and go home.
2. Send your apologies to your DS and DiL.
3. Tell your DM to get a taxi.
4. Tell your employees to collect their money or better still organise it better so they get a monthly wage paid directly into a bank account. I’ve never heard of a boss driving all round a city hand delivering wages.

Alternatively book yourself and your family onto Jerry Springer/Rikki Lake or whatever the modern US equivalent of those shows is and let them sort it out!!

Goodness I felt tired just reading what you do, going for a lie down!

You pay people with cheques? Blimey, thought the US was ahead of us a lot of the time! And anybody that 'didn't have time' to pick up their cheque presumably doesn't need the money to clear that quickly

I can’t really get over the firing bit. Was she doing that (Medicare fraud) because she was pregnant and desperate for coverage to look after her and baby? Whilst still wrong I couldn’t take so badly someone doing that, it’s like someone stealing because they are starving. It’s the sign of a messed up society and a messed up employer.

Her third brother?

I have no idea now.

Your DIL is clearly an idiot. Just tell your son, you can't go.

It's your sons responsibility to sort this mess out.

Well, that puts a different light on it. If you saved her ass from Alcatraz, you will be Guest of Honour at the sex party. You should go.

Sex party???

Sex party

It isn't a gender party. The poor kid isn't old enough to decide what gender they identify with.

So now they have baby showers and gender reveals? Jeez i wouldnt go

It sounds like you're doing a hell of a lot of running around after people.

Perhaps you need to review whether you're putting yourself out for everybody unnecessarily and actually get some control back of your own life, instead haring to and fro on the demands of others.

Surely your 3rd brother could find his own way home from work? He's an adult, no?

If your employees require their cheques on the day, you should have a time you're in the office/wherever and they come and get them. Or they accept bank transfers instead. It's ludicrous that you're chasing your tail delivering their pay to them.