Naming ceremony with no children

[Misunderstoodcheese]

I have been invited to a friend's daughter's naming ceremony which is a beautiful family event or so one would think. I asked if my children are invited and and have been told in no uncertain terms that mine are not. My friend is lovely but she doesn't understand the time and effort that childcare would require. So as not to drip feed other children are being included in the event and I feel that my children have been excluded because we have different believes as mine are baptized.

It depends whether you feel you can tolerate this from her. Either you accept that (for some people) your child requires that extra bit of acceptance or you feel aggrieved by it. TBH, is she showing her true colours or is this acceptable of her child's day?

June, that is not what 'entitled' means.

Better get used to your children being excluded from all kinds of events and parties because they’re “a little extra”. No one wants badly behaved, undisciplined kids spoiling their function.

I said baby mainly because of reading between the lines of your comment "We are gentle parents and really do try to let our little ones express themselves naturally and without the interference of adult rules" which does make it sound as though you perhaps are lapse with discipline when at formal events than others might be, which may be the issue. Though perhaps I am wrong about that. The letting express naturally without the interference of adult rules does sound like letting them misbehave where others might tell their children not to.

Baby?! Yabu. Random autocorrect

Just read about 'gentle parenting' which I hadn't heard before. It involves setting boundaries - a lot of people here seem to think it's simply permissive parenting,
What the OP describes isn't gentle parenting, that's the point. Gentle parenting as a term too often gets misused by people who are permissive parents.

The OP doesn't want her children bound by rules and describes her DC behaviour as "a little extra" which is a euphemism for disruptive. That is being permissive.

The thing is, you might believe your way of parenting is so much better than everyone else's but already your children are becoming disliked and excluded because of the choices you make about parenting (or not)
Possibly have a think about that?

Maybe it isn't so much different beliefs but a lack of confidence that your children will behave throughout the ceremony and the need for the day to be about the actual
Event not the children who they likely anticipate to be rowdy? In which case I think that's sort of reasonable on their part. I'd be pretty sad if my child had a special ceremony and it was overshadowed by a child misbehaving.
You've sort of said they wouldn't so what about just speaking to you friend and asking in a Non-confrontational
Way about why they weren't invited rather then letting a load of us speculate for you and possibly wind situation up? That way if she says it's because she's worried they'll misbehave you could explain coping strategies you would implement (ie sitting at back and removing them at first sign) and let her make a more informed decision aaa to whether she'll invite them?

When I got married (long time ago) a child who was being 'gently parented' ROLLED on our pile of wedding presents. He was 8 or 9 ish. Child-free weddings weren't a thing then (it didn't occur to us) but I really wish we'd not invited him. Or his parents come to that.

Or she could just accept that the friend has justifiable reason to suspect that actual parenting wouldn’t happen and has no intention of having her day spoilt?
Trying to weasel her way in when she knows damn well what the problem is is embarrassing.

We are gentle parents and really do try to let our little ones express themselves naturally and without the interference of adult rules

Ahh. They're feral. That would explain it. 🤣🤣

I wouldn't call your style of parenting gentle, it's more free range parenting. You've just let them out into the wild and keeping your fingers crossed. You are hoping they'll learn some decent manners from somewhere. This way you don't have to do the actual hard work of parenting your own children.