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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you want to know if your husband did this?

179 replies

sooty333 · 27/02/2020 17:51

Would you want to know if your husband had done these things and would you blame the woman in this scenario?

If he:
Became friends with a woman over 30 years younger

  • Started messaging said woman at all hours, even when she didn't reply he would hassle with follow up messages
  • Asked said woman to meet up for lunch (which she went to as friends)
  • Asked said woman to stay over at your house while you were away for the weekend (which said woman refused)
  • Kissed said woman against her will and touched her inappropriately
  • Told said woman he loves her, that she's the most beautiful woman in the world and he wishes he had met her 30 years ago and could marry her
  • when said woman told him to leave her alone, he sent constant messages asking why and declarations of love

Assuming you are in your 50s/60s you want to know, or considering said woman is not going to have an affair with your husband would you want to live in ignorant bliss and have an easy life?

OP posts:
lynxca16 · 27/02/2020 19:55

I would want to know
Its not really living a life - your life if you continue believe his excuses.

Eddielzzard · 27/02/2020 19:59

Oh god I'd want to know. Awful.

TowerRingInferno · 27/02/2020 19:59

Yes I would want to know but would want some sort of evidence.
No, I wouldn’t blame the much younger woman.

Chances are she won’t be surprised and might even be relieved to know (explain why he’s been acting strangely with her, if he had, grounds for divorce etc).

PeppermintPasty · 27/02/2020 20:01

Dementia? FFS.

ElizabethMountbatten · 27/02/2020 20:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Happygirl79 · 27/02/2020 20:16

I would like to know 100%
My life would be a lie and I would want to know about it so that I could change things

Reginabambina · 27/02/2020 20:18

I’d want to know if my husband/any man I knew sexually assaulted someone.

Billben · 27/02/2020 20:27

Yes, I would definitely want to know.

Craftycorvid · 27/02/2020 20:35

As PP have all said, this is harassment of the young woman and sexual assault. It is NOT ok. That she clearly doesn’t want sexual (or any) contact with him doesn’t make this an issue to ignore. To be honest, I’d be wanting to offer her my support as I kicked him to the kerb.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 27/02/2020 20:41

I would want to know that my husband was a sleazy sex pest, yes.

I don't think I would open this with open arms and I'm sure in the heat of my heartbreak there would be some blaming of the woman - being honest here - but my rational head wouldn't blame her (you?) one bit.

kevintheorangecarrot · 27/02/2020 20:42

Of course I would. He would get a kick in the bollocks then he can fuck off out of my life forever.

shinyredbus · 27/02/2020 20:46

Are you going to come back to tell us which you are Op?

If wife - leave
Women - report to police

Candyfloss99 · 27/02/2020 20:46

Blame which woman? How could a woman possibly be to blame in this scenario?

Historydweeb · 27/02/2020 20:48

Harvey Weinstein, day you??

Historydweeb · 27/02/2020 20:48

Sat*

Historydweeb · 27/02/2020 20:49

Dat even 😂

AnyFucker · 27/02/2020 20:52

Who are you in this scenario ?

Are you coming back at all ?

partofthepeanutgallery · 27/02/2020 21:08

OP, are you the poor woman being harassed by creepy letch?

Yes, please do tell his wife.

Original poster
sooty333 · 27/02/2020 21:23

Yes I'm the woman (not wife)

OP posts:
ShesCurly · 27/02/2020 21:27

Ugh you poor thing.

I don't think you have an obligation as such to tell her, but I think that I would.

I also think you do need to think about whether his behaviour (which has included sexual assault) means you may need some additional external support from the police, or for now a trusted friend who might be able to give you a handhold and help you access some external resources should you feel you need to if he won't stop attempting contact.

FlowersFlowersFlowers

Ellie56 · 27/02/2020 21:31

Ewww what a disgusting creep. Absolutely tell his wife and report him for sexual assault and harrassment.

Absolutepowercorrupts · 27/02/2020 21:35

@sooty333
How do you know him and do you know her?

Absolutepowercorrupts · 27/02/2020 21:40

I'm asking because if it's a work situation then I would hope there might be an official course of action you could take.
If it's a social situation then I'd be inclined to be really full on public with what's happened

damnthatanxiety · 27/02/2020 21:48

OP, so what is the rest of the story? Is someone blaming you? Did the wife find out? How? If she did, does she know the real story?

damnthatanxiety · 27/02/2020 21:50

Actually, I see that you are asking if the wife should know. Um, maybe. What is the creepy man doing/saying now? I would definitely make sure you made note of everything.

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