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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you want to know if your husband did this?

179 replies

sooty333 · 27/02/2020 17:51

Would you want to know if your husband had done these things and would you blame the woman in this scenario?

If he:
Became friends with a woman over 30 years younger

  • Started messaging said woman at all hours, even when she didn't reply he would hassle with follow up messages
  • Asked said woman to meet up for lunch (which she went to as friends)
  • Asked said woman to stay over at your house while you were away for the weekend (which said woman refused)
  • Kissed said woman against her will and touched her inappropriately
  • Told said woman he loves her, that she's the most beautiful woman in the world and he wishes he had met her 30 years ago and could marry her
  • when said woman told him to leave her alone, he sent constant messages asking why and declarations of love

Assuming you are in your 50s/60s you want to know, or considering said woman is not going to have an affair with your husband would you want to live in ignorant bliss and have an easy life?

OP posts:
dudsville · 27/02/2020 18:09

Yes i would want to know. I've never understood the fools on threads who say not to tell. I'd rather a broken heart than live a lie.

Spartonian · 27/02/2020 18:10

Yes I would want to know but I would also want to see proof so he could deny it.

Spartonian · 27/02/2020 18:10

Could not deny it

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 27/02/2020 18:11

I’d want to know too.

Talia99 · 27/02/2020 18:12

I’d want to know so the first time I found out wasn’t when he was arrested and/or fired for gross misconduct.

BlimeyCalmDown · 27/02/2020 18:14

I would definitely want to know

onanothertrain · 27/02/2020 18:15

Why the hell would you think it was the woman's fault?

maddening · 27/02/2020 18:15

I'd want to know and would appreciate the evidence so I could use it in my divorce.

WickedlyPetite · 27/02/2020 18:15

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Fluffycloudland77 · 27/02/2020 18:15

Fuck yes.

But, I doubt this will be the first time.

Ohyesiam · 27/02/2020 18:15

Well yes, any man who tries to touch or kiss a woman against her will is to be avoided. Not many people want to be married to a sex pest.

YakkityYakYakYak · 27/02/2020 18:16

I would want to know, even though it would be devastating to hear, and no of course would not blame the poor woman who has been harassed.

Although, I’d be surprised if her husbands true nature has escaped her attention entirely.

PerpendicularVincent · 27/02/2020 18:16

I'd absolutely want to know that he sexually assaulted this woman and tried to push her into having an affair. I could then 1) inform the police and 2) divorce the sad fucker.

Having an 'easy life's would be irrelevant in these circumstances.

billy1966 · 27/02/2020 18:17

That my husband had sexual assaulted someone? Definitely.

BestestBrownies · 27/02/2020 18:18

Just go to the police about his stalking/sexual harassment of you OP.
His DP will find out then

Wigglewaggle01 · 27/02/2020 18:20

So the husband sexually assaulted a woman although really if we are being brutally honest it sounds like borderline rape.
And you want to know if his wife would be happier not knowing she was married to a rapist?

Yeah definitely, id rather not know and live the end of my days with a sexually assaulting borderline rapist who happily cheats because it's more comfortable than leaving him. ConfusedHmmConfused

onwheels · 27/02/2020 18:20

yes, id be expecting some harassment charges at the least

Cheeseontoast4 · 27/02/2020 18:20

If you don’t know her you have no way of knowing how she would react - what she already knows or suspects or wants to ignore Or what she herself might be putting up with against her will .

She is not your responsibility though - do what’s best for you to lose the creep and protect the next recipient of his ‘affections’ . If she is liberated in the process that’s kind of a side product.

vilaziba · 27/02/2020 18:21

divorce and find somebody who will have only one big love...YOU

pooopypants · 27/02/2020 18:21

Of course I'd want to know if my DH was a sleazy, creepy sex pest who didn't understand the meaning of boundaries.

And I'd want her to report him for sexual harassment.

Can we safely assume you're the younger woman in this scenario OP?

onwheels · 27/02/2020 18:22

sorry yes i would want to know so i could decide what i wanted to do with the marriage. that man sounds dangerous.

DameHannahRelf · 27/02/2020 18:23

"Kissed said woman against her will and touched her inappropriately".

^I would ltb based on that alone.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 27/02/2020 18:24

Yes I would definitely want to know so I could pack his bags, throw him out and I would probably want the number of the woman so I could encourage her to report him for sexual harrasment, if she isn't already.

Winterlife · 27/02/2020 18:24

I would want to know.

This could be an early indication of dementia. You should push him to be tested.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/02/2020 18:25

I’d want to know about ANY type of infidelity

So basically he's having an inappropriate affair

It's sexual assault and harassment. It isn't an affair.

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