Would you want to know if your husband did this?

[sooty333]

Would you want to know if your husband had done these things and would you blame the woman in this scenario?

If he:
Became friends with a woman over 30 years younger

• Started messaging said woman at all hours, even when she didn't reply he would hassle with follow up messages
• Asked said woman to meet up for lunch (which she went to as friends)
• Asked said woman to stay over at your house while you were away for the weekend (which said woman refused)
• Kissed said woman against her will and touched her inappropriately
• Told said woman he loves her, that she's the most beautiful woman in the world and he wishes he had met her 30 years ago and could marry her
• when said woman told him to leave her alone, he sent constant messages asking why and declarations of love

Assuming you are in your 50s/60s you want to know, or considering said woman is not going to have an affair with your husband would you want to live in ignorant bliss and have an easy life?

his could be an early indication of dementia. You should push him to be tested
You think the victim of his assault should encourage him to go to the doctors?

I would want to be told, but I wouldn't believe it unless I was provided with proof. I think most people would feel the same unless they already had reason to suspect infidelity. If there was evidence of the behaviour you describe then I would 100% without a doubt LTB.

I'll bet this isn't the first time he's done something like this.

I would want to know, but I would divorce a man who did/said these things.

Is this a reverse? If so, tell her and report the horrible creature to the police.

Yes, yes - this is obviously the only possible explanation. Just as every awful, bullying child must be autistic. hmm

I never claimed it was "obviously the only possible explanation". But, it could be an explanation. This actually is a symptom of early onset dementia.

You think the victim of his assault should encourage him to go to the doctors?

No. Misread the OP as the wife. Got busy.

The dementia reference is because the disease can cause people to behave in dangerous and totally unacceptable ways. No one's suggesting that he didn't assault this woman or isn't harassing her and it's quite possible that he's a bastard who has form for this.

The sooner she reports him to HR, his wife and the police if she wishes to, the better.

I'm assuming you are saud woman and you are wondering if you should tell this creep's wife. Yes you should. With the proof.

Yes of course I’d want to know

Absolutely tell her. Then report the predatory creep to HR & the police & possibly help avoid him assaulting more women in future, maybe even prevent a rape? I can’t imagine a scenario in which a wife wouldn’t want to know.

Yes I absolutely would like to know I was married to a disgusting creep so I could kick his arse out. As others said she will need to see the evidence though to believe it. I definitely wouldn't blame the woman in this situation as she sounds completely innocent

According to MN every arsehole over 40 has dementia meaning they cannot be held to account for their behaviour!

If I was the wife, I'd want to know, as I would not stay with someone like this.

If I were the younger woman, it would be police and HR. OP, if you are the younger woman, keep copies of any texts, etc in case they are needed as evidence.

Ok Sooty333
I'm assuming that you are 'said woman' and you're asking, in a roundabout way, should you tell this man's wife about his sleazy, revolting, sexual harassment of a woman.
I'm saying yes tell her, if you do, she may accuse you of leading him on and, yes, she may blame you. She may leap into attack is the best defence mode or she's always known he's a sleaze bag and no blame will be attached to you.
How did you meet him and do you know his wife at all?

Did you imagine anyone would answer no?

Unfortunately this is unlikely to be a first offence, and the wife is likely to be embarrassed but not be that surprised.

Guys perspective.....said husband is a creep and a pest. He needs reporting for trying to kiss her against her will. Harassing her too. She needs to leave him. Disgusting men like this gives us guys a bad name!

absolutely would want to know and if he was my DH no matter what age he would be chucked out

Sounds like a bit of a movie to me but I like date think anyone would want to be aware.

If I were the younger woman, then I'd tell him to stop immediately, otherwise I would both tell his wife and inform the police (and HR too if it is at work, but the OP hasn't said that it's at work - although it probably is).

If I were the older woman, I suspect that I'd already know he was a dirty old man. If I didn't know, I'm not sure whether I'd want to know or not.

Yes I would want to know

I would want to know and would not blame the woman - apart from going for lunch she hasnt given any encouragement.

I'm not sure if you are the poor wife or the poor woman who is being harassed. If I was the wife yes I would want to know if my longterm husband had done this terrible thing. He has assaulted and harassed and probably terrified some one and he has fucking disrespected the woman he has committed to. I don't know about dementia or reaction to medication or whatever, it would still only be an excuse for what is disturbing and potentially seriously dangerous behaviours. He needs stopping or it could escalate, I hope who ever you are you have support and a friend in RL you can talk to. Good luck OP.

As others have said, he needs to be reported. Keep any correspondence, images and a diary of dates, places, and times. Keep a note of any potential witnesses.